en(gender)ed

en(gender)ed features stories that explore the systems, practices, and policies that enable gender-based violence and oppression and the solutions to end it. We teach feminism and decolonize hearts and minds, one story at a time.

https://www.engendered.us

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episode 31: #SurvivorStories Series with "Caitlin" on the dangers of "shared parenting" for survivors and children


In our #SurvivorStories Series episode, we feature "Caitlin"--a protective mother who shares custody of her two children with her ex-husband.  Caitlin describes how her ex-husband's behavior revealed signs of abuse that she didn't want to acknowledge nor understand.  As Caitlin began to realize that her relationship was one of psychological and emotional abuse, began to seek help and advice from therapists, attorneys and the court, none of whom were able to understand, acknowledge or protect her and her children.  Caitlin considers herself one of the "lucky" ones whose claims of abuse, though minimized and not held to account, didn't result in the too often retaliation against protective mothers through placement of the children's custody with the abuser.  It is Caitlin's wish that by sharing her story, more people can understand how abuser tactics work to discredit abuse and protect the abuser from being held accountable and the children from being safe.

During this episode, the following resources were referenced.  You can learn more by exploring the links below:

  • The arrest and conviction of Chris Watts for the murder of his pregnant wife and two kids
  • The Town of Castle Rock v. Gonzalez Supreme Court Case which effectively interpreted restraining orders are not mandatory to enforce
  • The organization, Peace Over Violence, that provided services to Caitlin
  • Why domestic violence advocates find presumptive shared parenting dangerous for survivors, and a more detailed analysis by the Battered Women's Justice Project
  • Joint custody presumptions and domestic violence exceptions, by state
  • Joan Meier's study on how court view domestic violence and child abuse claims

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 November 29, 2018  50m