2 Guys And A Chainsaw

Every now and then, it’s time for an exploitation grindhouse classic, and Pieces checks all the boxes. It even has a few actors we are familiar with, and some truly laugh-out-loud moments along with a moment or two of accidental brilliance. See it with friends, and listen to us pull it apart and put it back together.

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Pieces (1982)

Episode 227, 2 Guys and a Chainsaw

Todd: Hello, and welcome to another episode of two guys and a Chainsaw. I’m Todd.

Craig: I’m Craig.

Todd: All right. Today, we were looking for something a little more old school, a little sillier. Ah, okay. I was, I wanted something a little grindhouse that we could make fun of, but something that I had been wanting to see for a long time.

This is one of those movies that I pass by on the shelf in the horror section of the video store, a lot was entranced by the title. And the title of this movie is called Pieces from 1982. And the tagline I think is. It’s exactly what you think it is and, uh, box art for it. It has a chainsaw and a bunch of body parts on it.

It was one of these early eighties, late seventies, slasher movies that, uh, I was just in the mood for this week. So I proposed to Craig. I will take the blame and, uh, we watched it. I hadn’t seen it before. How about you, Craig?

Craig: Nope. I never even heard of it. I don’t think

Todd: really. You’d never saw this on the shelves.

Craig: I don’t think so. Not that I remember anyway.

Todd: Okay. Well, fair enough. This movie was produced by a pretty notorious producer of exploitation films. Dick Randall. Uh, this guy started out in the early sixties, uh, making movies like King of Kong Island. Let it All Hang Out, Playgirl 70, Mondo Inferno, the Cotton Picking Chicken Pickers, which maybe we should put that on a list for the future.

I don’t, I don’t think it’s horror, but it sounds interesting. So a lot of these sort of sexy sex exploitation films, and then seem to. Transition a little bit into horror with movies, like a Frankenstein’s Castle of Freaks, Crocodile, which sounds like a takeoff of Alligator when we watched it, uh, that was produced in 79.

Oh dude. I’m, I’m looking at some of these titles and they’re fantastic. The Erotic Adventures of Robinson Crusoe… Anyway, and probably some movies that we’re going to be doing. Sometime in the future, he did a movie in 1984 called Don’t Open ‘Till Christmas, a 1986 movie called Slaughter High. I think he wrote the story for this, or came up with a concept which is not highbrow concept.

It’s a killer with a chainsaw, runs around a university campus and murders people, and then enlisted the help of a Spanish director named John P CAIR Simone. And he has also done a fair number of, uh, exploitation films. One of which, again, I think we’re going to come back to at some point called slug.

This was one of, one of the movies he made. He only made like about 20 films, which is more than I’ve made. Um, and, uh, this movie is listed on IMDB as a Spanish, uh, Italian production, because it was primarily filmed in Madrid. Spain. It says it was filmed in Madrid and Boston, or at least some exteriors were filmed in Boston, but then there’s some conflicting information that says actually almost none of it was filmed in Boston because they really had no money.

And they just pulled in some exterior shots from somewhere else. The fact that they had no money, this is a cheapo exploitation. Grindhouse kind of film really shows. I was really happy to see that our favorite, uh, track coach.

Craig: Yes

Todd: from Graduation Day was in it. And, and honestly he made it the movie for me.

I love watching this guy perform his name,

Craig: Christopher George,

Todd: and he plays the lieutenant police detective, whatever, in this movie who who’s charged with solving the crime and does a really shitty job of it. For most of it chews up a lot of scenery, has a very furrowed brow, uh, barks orders around.

People in generally it looks like he’s in control. Despite it, I started it a little too late at night and I stopped it after about an hour. So I’m going to have to come back to this in the morning, finished it off for the last half hour and then was like, you know, I feel like I want to go back and rewatch at least some highlights from earlier in the movie.

And I have to say that when I went back and rewatch some of the earlier scenes. Having kind of understood what I was getting into and how the end result would be. I found it kind of fun. Uh, that’s kinda my take on it. It’s it’s stupid. It’s really stupid. It’s super sleazy. If you search us online and look up reviews, the word misogynistic shows up a ton and it’s absolutely shamelessly.

Misogynistic, lots of boobs, lots of Gore, uh, lots of girls being murdered. Uh, and then the premise of the whole film is a bit like psycho, this kid, uh, it starts out early in Boston, 1942. I believe it’s supposed to be a very unconvincing 1942, but anyway, yeah. He’s putting together a racy jigsaw puzzle in his bedroom of a naked woman.

And his mother comes in. She’s really upset, kicks the puzzle over. And, uh, I don’t know, you know, if my mom, well, my mom found me with a Playboy magazine. Once I have to say I was more embarrassed than motivated to pick up an ax and murder her, but that’s what the kid in this film does. He chops her up. The police come.

And find blood all over the room and all over this jigsaw puzzle. Mom’s head is in one of the closets and the kid is cowering crying. And one of the other closets and this being 1942, uh, they don’t think that the kid actually did it. So, um, we jumped to present day 1982, where obviously the question hangs over the entire movie who was that kid?

Who’s grown up to be now a murderer, a psychopath. That’s the premise. So this is, this is the movie. This is what we’re, what we’re, what we’re stuck with is what we’re going to talk about. But I have to say before I turn over to you, Craig, for a little more insight, that it’s nice to every now and then review a chainsaw killer movie.

There really aren’t as many chainsaw killer movies, as you would think. In the horror genre, and this is most definitely one of the most chainsaw, horror movies I’ve ever seen

Craig: for what it’s worth. Yup. It sure is.

Todd: I’m trying to think of nice things to say.

Craig: Yeah, no. I mean, when I finished watching it, I was like, Yeah.

I mean, I texted you right away because it was bad, but having slept on it now, I’m kind of trying to look back at it and see it as. I’m trying to find the charm in it, because I think that there is charm in this movie and that might be evidenced by the fact that when the movie came out, the company that was releasing, it was really skeptical.

And one of the producers

Todd: told.

Craig: Whoever was in charge of the production company, go see it with an audience. And he did. And I guess the audience response was really positive, largely because they were laughing at it so much that it inspired a little bit of confidence. And I can kind of see that it’s really not a horror comedy, but it’s one of those that unintentionally funny.

It is. It is funny. I mean, it’s, it’s a silly premise. This guy who liked to put together. Puzzles of like a new lady. It’s cute. You know, it’s, it’s almost like the puzzle that he puts together, which he puts together periodically throughout

Todd: the movie.

Craig: It’s just like a classic pinup, you know, it’s, it’s the.

Naked lady with her arms above her head and her back arched. And of course she’s fully nude and the premise becomes that, I guess, because he’s crazy.

Todd: I don’t know. He’s crazy about puzzles, I guess. Yeah. He’s crazy about

Craig: puzzles and, uh, he grows up to become the psycho killer who throughout the course of the movie kills these women, I guess, with the.

Goal of kind of creating his own jigsaw puzzle. Like he kills them, but then he only takes certain parts of their body. And if it’s not a parent throughout the course of the movie, that that’s what he’s doing. You get the payoff at the end to see that he’s actually kind of been constructing. I don’t know what you would call it.

I don’t know.

Todd: I don’t know what it is.

Craig: Purpose, uh, you know, I don’t, I don’t know if it’s an artistic purpose or wants to bone it. I don’t know.

It’s cute.

Todd: It’s not even readily apparent throughout the movie that this is what’s happening. I mean, that’s kind of, one of the criticisms I have is that we don’t see it. It’s not like silence of the lambs, you know, it’s not like we don’t say. We see a lot of insert shots of the killer. It, this is very Harry Jolo inspired.

This movie is like a American produced Spanish made Jolo wannabe right down to the killer with the black gloves and the dark overcoat. Yes, the scenes every now and then, I mean, it cuts right into it. I think right after we jumped to present day, you get this shot of the killer with the black gloves, opening up the drawer and pulling out all of his little bits of memorabilia and assembling them.

And one of those things is the puzzle and a knife and a picture of a woman with exed out. I mean, how many times, right. Even graduation day, uh, was like this, right?

Craig: So

Todd: it’s very heavily, Jolo inspired. And actually I thought, um, the soundtrack as well, There were times, you know, it has this very, at times that’s very minimalist score.

That’s just a stumping. Like

when it breaks out into the insanity of some of these killings, you know, it becomes the full on rock.

type score that we see. And just, let’s clear, they’re trying for this at the same time, the killer, when you see them and you see them a lot in shadow to the point where it’s hilariously cliche, it’s really funny.

Craig: In fact, like it is, is very Jolo. Now I read that they didn’t in fact base the figure of the guy on giallo.

It was actually based on the comic book, character, the shadow, but like that. Yeah, exactly what it is. It’s. Just the completely black silhouette of a man, presumably in a hat and like a collared like trench coat. Yeah. Like it, and you see it so often. And I have no idea. I can only imagine that it was an actor, you know, in this ensemble, but they could have just as easily used a cardboard cutout and just like.

Popped it up front of

there’s a little

lighting left and right. And you see it all the time.

Todd: It’s very the shadow though. They get the look down the down, Pat to the scarf around the neck and everything. Yeah, for sure.

Craig: It’s it’s really, really funny. And I, I, it doesn’t seem like they meant it to be like, it seems,

Todd: I don’t

Craig: know, maybe I’m wrong.

Maybe they were in on the joke, but it really just, they, it it’s played so straight forward, but every time, you know, like this killer stocks, people, women, Only around all the time. And you just see that silhouette in the window, like leering, I mean, you assume it’s wearing, it’s literally just a black silhouette all the time and it just because it happens so frequently, it just becomes hilarious.

Todd: It’s so true.

Craig: My favorite. Part of this movie is just, there is a linear narrative that you can follow, but also just the most random things happen, like in the very beginning. Okay. So we see the kid kill his mother and then he finishes his puzzle. And then 40 years later he pulls out the puzzle box has his mother’s clothes and his mother’s shoes.

All bloody and his puzzle that he was putting together all bloody too. Like, did he ask to keep those things when he was a kid? Like now, since he’s still happy to make any sense

Todd: and

Craig: yes, there’s a picture of his mom in the box, which is clearly a Hollywood headshot, obviously not from 1940,

Todd: 1940s, no way.

Craig: No, but then the very next thing we see is just this girls skateboarding, like through a college campus. And I have no idea who she is and for no apparent reason, it’s just like they wanted to do this scene.

She’s not a character movie as far as I remember, but this just, this girl she’s like super happy and she’s on this little, like 1980s, tiny little skateboard, and she’s waving at people and you know, it’s all fun. And then all of a sudden, Two workers carry an enormous mirror, walk out right in front of her and she crashes through the mirror and that’s it.

It has nothing to do with the plot of the movie. You have no light it’s. You just see it happen and then it’s over. And the movie carries on and there are several parts like that in this movie. I just thought it was, Oh, it was hilarious. Is

Todd: hilarious. And I had read that there were a couple shots that came from a different movie that they were working on.

Like some superhero movie. And I wonder if that was one of them that was inserted. I mean, it’s like the idea was that they were trying to set the scene of the college campus and the college kids. Like now we’re in 1982 and here are all the hi-jinks happening on campus, but it’s just this one scene and that’s it with a character you never see.

Any other time in the movie and it cuts immediately to this girl who’s laying down in studying, like in the middle of the quad in the middle of the day

Craig: in the middle of the day

Todd: must be sad and there’s. A sound of a chainsaw that startles her from behind and she looks up and there’s somebody trimming the bushes with a chainsaw, but he’s very, you know, bound up tights, got these goggles on the hat, a scarf.

Like you have no idea who that person is. And even speaks up and says, Oh, I’ll just be a minute. She was like, Oh, okay. She turns around. And suddenly he steps out in front of her and cuts off her head with the chainsaw.

Craig: In the middle of the middle of the day.

I couldn’t even tell, like, I couldn’t tell if the guy who was trimming the trees was the same guy with the chainsaw because when she talks to him, he’s up in the tree behind her and then seconds later he’s approaching her from the front. So I didn’t know if like the tree trimmer, like. Witnessed this happen.

And then I feel like at some point they introduce like a landscaper who’s working there, who I assumed from the beginning was a red herring, because it was so obvious. His name was Willard played by Paul Smith who was brutal. Brutal. I think that was in Popeye and Bluto. That’s right. And he was also in haunted honeymoon and he’s set up what I thought as this big red herring.

But if I remember correctly, he wasn’t even the same guy who was trimming the trees. No, I don’t know. It’s it’s, it’s a mess. Really. It’s thinking back on it now. It’s kind of funny.

Todd: It

Craig: is. So then after this girl gets killed, then of course, you know, there has to be an investigation. So you bring in the cops and you’ve got Lieutenant Bracken who we’ve already mentioned, Christopher George, who we saw on graduation day.

He was also in city of the living dead. Didn’t we do that.

Todd: Yes, we did. He was the detective in that too.

Craig: Oh, well, Well, yeah, and he’s got a partner or whatever, and they’re investigating, I swear. It’s just these parts that have really nothing to do with the movie that are my favorite parts. Like. So they introduced us to the cops and we find out the cops are investigating or whatever, but then they cut to a scene of these kids.

Is this a college? It’s a college, right?

Todd: Yeah.

Craig: This group of kids in the hallway of a building, smoking a joint. Not look, I went to college. Okay. I may, I smoked a Dubar too in my day. Been certainly not in the hallway of a building right outside of an office where the police are

but favorite, like these kids are just talking and. They say something about how, like the gym just installed a water bed, why wouldn’t a gym, install, a water bed?

What kind of activities are they doing in their gym

Todd: for some of the water therapy or something? Craig, you know, you didn’t live in. Well, you were around in this time, but you weren’t old enough to know what was going on. And I don’t know. So I think I

Craig: want to join that gym now. Thank

Todd: you said before you had a water bed, it was not all as cracked up to be.

Maybe it’s better as therapy,

Craig: right? It did. It was not, but, but that was my, uh, one of my favorite lines. Like I literally paused the movie several times to write down lines. Cause they were so funny. Like they’re sitting there smoking a joint and. I assumed that this sexy girl was going to be like an important part of the cast.

No, she, I don’t think she ever shows up again, but that somebody says something about the waterbed and this girl takes a puff off the joy. It says the most beautiful thing in the world is smoking pot. King on a water bed.

Oh God. Yeah in college. I did both of those things, but never at the same

Todd: time

Craig: you might get out, messed up, missed out.

Todd: Totally.

Craig: I missed out. Beautiful.

Todd: Oh man. It’s hilarious. Well, they interrogate people and they get together with the Dean. And I don’t think we ever hear him learn his name. He’s just the Dean and the Lieutenant decides to bring in an undercover investigator disguised as the tennis coach,

Craig: Mary, I think,

Todd: Oh, well he doesn’t bring her in just yet.

Right. She gets a knower of the campus grounds

Craig: from professor Brown. Oh God. Like this movie. It’s it’s one of the. I have never seen a movie tries so hard to introduce so many suspects. Like they go out of their way to try to throw suspicion on so many people it’s really dumb because ultimately I knew who the killer was.

30 minutes in, like it was. Really obvious. Um, but they introduced this professor, professor Brown. It ends up being a big deal that he’s gay.

Todd: It’s his affliction. Remember?

Craig: Shit. It doesn’t have anything to do with me.

Todd: Yeah.

Craig: Funny. And he’s in charge of the anatomy department. Is there even such a thing as an anatomy department?

Todd: It’s a whole department devoted to it? No, maybe a class or two,

Craig: yeah. Class or two. Right. But they ask him to help in the investigation.

Just like they ask anybody who they randomly bump into on the street. To help in this investigation. Like every person that the detectives encounter, they’re like, okay, we’re going to bring you in. And you’re going to help us,

Todd: everybody because of Willard. Cause he’s too shady.

Craig: Right. And so they introduced gay mr. Brown and then Willard, who’s the big guy. And like, he just. They had to have just directed him, like just crazy and menacing as you possibly can. It’s beyond the silly and like, uh, I don’t even remember who goes and talks to them if it’s mr.

Brown or the investigators or whatever, but no, it’s the Dean talks to him. Like he’s the landscaper that. Only uses a chainsaw in his landscaping and the Dean is like, you finish up your job so you can move on or whatever. And he’s like, okay. And then there’s just a random shot of Willard. Seeing some kids walking in the middle of the day in the middle of the quad, like what college is.

Yes.

Went to the wrong. School, but even a God,

Todd: if you need to murder someone, this is the perfect college to do it in. Absolutely anything can happen at any time. It will go completely unnoticed. The primary weapon is a chainsaw. Chainsaws are not quiet and they’re not easy to conceal you. Can’t put them under your clothing, but this murderer successfully runs around with the chainsaw killing people sometimes just.

Hmm. I dunno, rooms away from where others are. You know, the movie’s not concerned with making a lot of sense, for sure. I think that, uh, after this, we are in the library and this is where we get introduced

Craig: to set up for the first killing. Yeah. Yeah.

Todd: We get introduced to Kendall. And so Kendall is sitting in the library and there’s a cute girl sitting in front of her, of him. And she kind of smiles at him as when she passes him a note and she stands up and walks out and goes to the pool.

Craig: Right, right, right. But the note says,

Todd: and suddenly it’s nighttime

Craig: then suddenly it’s nighttime.

Todd: Yes,

Craig: absolutely. At the pool, but not another place. I think it’s just nighttime. Cool, but this, this, this girl she’s super pretty. And she passes this guy. Then a note that says, I want to do it in the water. See you in the pool. But Kendall, who really is one of the main characters of this movie. I swear to God the actor that plays him in any other movie.

Would have been the nerd, but in this movie, he is a sex. God can not stop throwing themselves at

Todd: like women, young women.

Craig: This kid is getting tail like four or five times a day. Like he will leave one girl and bump into another girl and they will be doing it like three seconds later. And I’m exaggerating, but.

That seems to be the implication. They even talk about it. Wow. He just can’t keep up.

Todd: Oh, it’s hilarious. All of this

Craig: with office’s ass that he’s scared. So later on

Todd: mentioned about how he knows everybody on campus, like yeah. Cause he’s boned them all.

Craig: Okay.

Todd: So it turns out it was good that he was randomly there for the cops to bring into the investigation.

For sure.

Craig: The whole thing with the notes confused me.

Todd: I don’t understand.

Craig: He gets the note and then he throws it. Towards the trash came and lands on the ground and then the killer picks it up. But then there’s a whole other deal with notes. Like I don’t, so we don’t, we don’t hear about it yet. First we see this beautiful girl at the pool waiting for Kendall and she strips naked mostly and jumps in the pool, which I read.

They filmed this in the middle of the winter and she nearly froze to death filming this scene. But she just swims around in the pool. Again, something else that I don’t understand about this movie, this killer can walk around with the chainsaw mere feet away from people, but they don’t see as though he’s invisible.

Todd: He’s the shadow. He has the power to cloud men’s minds.

Craig: This girl is swimming in the pool and this, the shadow guy is like creeping up with the chainsaw. She turns around three 60 in the pool looking around. Several times, but never sees them. But eventually only he, he fishes her out. Yeah. With the pool net. Yeah. Which almost kills her disables, her, like he pulls her out of the pool and because he’s been poking her at the pool net, like he can barely move.

So she just lakes there. Chops are up

Todd: with the shades. Yeah. So leering.

Craig: She has great boobs though.

Todd: She has. Oh, that was all I was thinking about. Plus you can tell it was cold in there. Uh, I mean really great boobs in this whole movie, honestly like a lot of TNA.

Craig: Yeah, yeah. Lots.

Todd: And it liers on it. The male gaze is strong in this movie.

Anyway, he goes over and he cuts at her and we don’t get to see. The closeups or anything of this particular thing, we see the aftermath, which is when the cops are in there and they’ve called him the anatomy professor to give his opinion about it. There is a bag of full of body parts sitting there. They have a gurney that I guess they put more body parts on and the chainsaw is sitting right there.

And in one of the most awkwardly filmed scenes I’ve ever seen, the professor bends down, looks at the bag. Looks over at some body part on the gurney touches the chainsaw and the cops go, no, no, no, don’t do that. You could have destroyed the evidence. And he goes, Oh, I’m sorry. Long pause stands up, looks around and says, well, I’m not a pathologist, but even a lay man concede was

Craig: done with this.

Todd: I’d say it’s elementary.

Craig: Okay. Thanks. Thank you very much. That’ll be all. You’re welcome. Yeah.

Todd: Right.

Craig: No, somebody probably just planted this chainsaw here to throw us off.

Todd: And I guess. They don’t confiscate the chainsaw and take it back to the police station because either the killer has a lot of chainsaws on hand or he’s able to get this thing back.

Craig: Well, there was also a scene that was totally incomprehensible to me. So Kendall, apparently didn’t go. To have sex with the girl in the pool.

Instead, he just hung out in the library, but then his nerdy friend brought him another or note. And I don’t even know what that note said. Somehow it got passed over the Dean’s desk and then got to him. And then they say later, like it was supposed to distract him from going to the pool. Like the killer must have planted it.

To keep you from going to the pool or whatever. It doesn’t make any sense, but right after he gets that note, we see this really weird scene where Willard, the big scary guy walks into the pool area, finds Kendall hiding there with the body. And then all of a sudden, all of the cops are there.

Todd: Yes,

Craig: they arrest Willard, I guess we don’t even really see it, but then they continue on with the investigation, like as though they caught Willard red handed, but they’re just not really sure if that’s the killer, which of course it turns out that it’s not that it was, I was so confused.

I thought that I, I had missed something or that the movie was. Oh weird. I have no idea what was going on there.

Todd: Well, it’s almost like this scene was supposed to happen before the scene where they talk about the body. Right? Was it the same girl? Different girl?

Craig: No, it was the same girl. I think that that did happen.

That was right before they were investigating the body, but nonetheless, it was all very confusing and it, yeah. I just didn’t understand why it’s. It seemed like, Oh, we caught Willard red handed and they arrest him and take him to jail, but then they just continue on

Todd: and then later he’s free. Yeah. Right.

Yeah. But you know, he, he, he does, uh, Pretty good job of beating off like three or four cops who were jumping him like bare handed with his fists. That’s pretty exciting fight scene. Widen that.

Craig: Listen to why

it’s not that kind of movie.

Todd: It’s almost

Craig: close, but not quite. Yeah. Ooh. Okay. Right. So they examined the chainsaw. I’m like going through my notes. Okay. So then that’s when the cops say that they want to bring in two undercover women, which I, they say that, but then later they’re like, Oh, well we could really only get one.

Okay. Well, great, great writing. And then the killer watches, some people doing aerobics and then the cops take Kindle to a psychologist. Most random shit. I have no idea what’s going on half

Todd: the time. Yeah. And then there’s a, an undercover. Is this about the time that the

Craig: reporters, when they bring in the girl that you were talking about before Mary Riggs, who was played by Lynda day, George, who was in the original mission, impossible television series.

And in this movie, She’s a tennis pro by day and a detective by night.

Todd: Apparently nobody in this movie could actually play tennis, even though most of the characters do. So they had to bring in a tennis coach to show them a few moves. I don’t think it made much of a difference to be honest.

Craig: No,

Todd: I love this scene. Two of them playing tennis, which is just two people. Playing tennis, but there’s stuff coming over the loudspeaker.

Like it’s supposed to be a big game with like a big crowd and there’s an announcer, but the only shot we get of the crowd, it’s about a dozen people lined up on a fence, looking down on this game with their heads moving left, then. Right.

Craig: And they couldn’t even do that. Like, there was one point where like, it’s like their heads were supposed to be following the ball, but there was one part where like half of them were watching it go one way and half of them were watching it go the other way.

They couldn’t even get that sinked up. It was pretty, it was pretty cool. Sure was the detective like enlist this lady, but while he’s enlisting her, like she just happens to work in his office or whatever, but then Kendall comes into and the detective is spilling all this information about how this woman’s going to be working under cover.

And she’s like, well, thanks for blowing my cover with him. And he’s like, no, he’s helping us with the investigation. I’d stake my life on him.

College kid that you just met yesterday. I know he’s like your most trusted confidant.

Todd: Huh? Okay. It’s so weird. And later on, he tries to get it with her too. And almost does, there was supposed to be a sexy between them that was written in. And I think it was the actress who kind of talked them out of it.

And said that’s a little silly and that’s what led to the scene where he tries to invite himself into her apartment after dropping her off. And she he’s like, don’t you want to meet me coffee? And she says, Hmm. Um, another time.

Craig: Yeah, no, but she still kisses him on the mouth, like twice. Yeah. She looks like she could be his mom.

I mean, she’s gorgeous. She’s a beautiful woman, but she’s significantly older than him. It’s like, he’s supposed to have this incredible sex appeal. Another person gets killed. Uh, the killer watches, another. Dancer and then confronts her in an elevator and she recognizes him and calls him, sir. So we know it’s somebody that she knows and presumably somebody that we know, and at that point, I totally knew who it was.

The killer cuts off her arms, but then as always happens, they immediately find the body because Kendall is just. He just happens to be around all the time. This is happening. Yeah. And they say, yeah, she’s still alive. So we’ll know who it is. And then four seconds later, a doctor comes by and they’re like, how’s she doing?

Oh, Horrible. There’s not a chance in the world. She will live well, thanks.

Todd: But they all come by so quickly that it’s like they were in the other room waiting for this to happen.

Craig: This is the moment where not just Kindle, but every person we’ve been introduced to in the movie shows up at this crime scene and they literally have.

A three second shot of them all standing as though in a lineup. Like, I feel like that was the purpose of that shot. Like

even Willard who had been in jail shows up and is standing there amongst all of them at the murder scene. And nobody even says anything,

Todd: just stay

Craig: in there. Next seed is, I think. Maybe for a couple of reasons. One of my favorite scenes in the movie where Kendall is in bed with this girl and he gets up and you see his Wiener now listen, coming from a gay dude.

You just, and I appreciate the human body in all forms. I think that people might sometimes get confused when I make comments like she had great boobs, look, I can appreciate great boobs.

Todd: Yes.

Craig: I don’t necessarily need to play with them or whatever, but like I can look at an attractive woman and say, look at her.

She’s gorgeous, but you don’t get to see naked dudes very often. And you do hear, and I appreciated that for the brief second that it happened, but it was so funny. This girl that he is in bed with is literally begging him. I’ll control myself, Kendall. If we do it again, come back to, why are you getting dressed, honey?

What did you gag me? Huh? I wouldn’t make any noise.

Todd: Took two steps toward the window. Come on the windows right

Craig: beside them.

Todd: What are you worried about? No, my favorite bit is. Again, full frontal male nudity. I was shocked because I had never seen you, you know, like you said, hardly ever see that in the movies before.

So I’m like, Oh wow. The is like really out there. Then the next shot is a shot through the window. And suddenly there’s a flower pot,

the dong that we just. This song

flower bot, how more cliche can it be? So

Craig: it was hilarious, which also leads to the eye objectively the best scene in the movie. When he’s looking out and he sees Mary walking at night alone on this campus where multiple women have been murdered

Todd: for reasons, unknown, for reasons

Craig: unknown. And, Oh, I don’t even want to tell it.

You tell it.

Todd: So she’s walking down like a passageway corridor outdoors, uh, and she hears the sound of, um, a chainsaw. Behind her and she’s freaking out and suddenly. I’m Ninja, he’s dressed as an inter he’s in a jumpsuit, but an agent guy comes with a flying jump kick towards her it wow. Which she somehow bats him off and he ends up on the ground.

Craig: And like, he does some like serious Kung Fu moves, you know? With the like,

Todd: Oh yeah, it’s all the great

Craig: sound effects. And then Kendall comes around on the motorcycle and the guy gets up and he’s like,

Todd: okay,

Craig: it’s my Kung Fu professor. Well, it’s a story chow. I am out jogging. And next thing I know I am on ground.

That’s something naive, but bad, sweet, so long. Take it easy.

Todd: It’s one of

Craig: the funniest things I’ve ever seen.

Todd: It’s so random.

Craig: I read that the film like the director, I think was making an, he was also making a Kung Fu movie at the same time. So they just wrote in this cameo. And this guy was like a Bruce Lee impersonate,

Todd: a bad Bruce Lee impersonator,

Craig: but it has, it has nothing to do with the rest of the movie and they write it off in the most ridiculous way.

I swear it was one of the funniest. I had no idea what was going on. And then when it was over, it was just one of the funniest things I’d ever seen in my whole life that made watching this movie worth it. Josh and I hate like now, I feel like anybody who’s listening, who hasn’t seen the movie, we have spoiled it

Todd: because it

Craig: comes out of nowhere and that is the best part.

It is hilarious.

Alright. I, that, that’s it.

Todd: I’m done. You say they find the killer. Thank you everybody for listening. Oh, there are a couple other murders. Well, that’s when he ends up walking her home and taking her to her apartment and she refuses him in. Then we get a shot back at the same, the outdoor corridor scene where this reporter, who we be previously been introduced to, I think in like one or maybe two scenes, who’s barely there again.

That cliche. Oh, there’s a reporter on the scene covering the case, except she’s not really covering the case. She’s just kind of hanging around, asking a few questions and then disappears for awhile. She also, for reasons unknown is wandering the empty dark campus where women have been murdered and for no good reason decides to explore a room off of the building.

So she opens the door and she wanders through. And at this point I’m watching this and I’m going. This wasn’t filmed in Boston. Like all of the interiors of this film in this college campus and college campus has happened old style feeling to them with the old style woodwork and stuff. But everything here is distinctly European, like down to the lights, switches on the walls, nothing here looks like it would even be an old American college campus.

She opens a door to mutton, must be a closet and sees a chainsaw on there. And it’s like, Oh, interesting. And then closes that

Craig: door within the killers in there. Yeah, but she just didn’t look like it.

Todd: The minute she shuts the door, we see in the darkness, the flash of a knife. So now the killer has a knife and she continues to walk and she’s.

Stumbles upon the water bed that they’ve just installed. And, uh, as she gets into the room, the door shuts behind her. She freaks out, she tries another door, but some lights come on. And then through that other door, the killer comes in and this scene was particularly brutal.

Craig: It was, and it was, it was good.

He was, this was the best kill scene for sure.

Todd: You was.

Craig: It looks, it looks great.

Todd: Yeah. Did he? He’s got her by the hair and he puts her down on the water bed and she’s struggling. And he stabs her a couple times in the chest and it looks awful. I mean, this is really. Sexual right. I mean, it got the penetration him on top of her, they’re on a water bed and then his knife starts cutting into the bed.

So there’s water and blood mixing together and kind of flying up in the air as they struggle. And it’s all done in slow motion, which is really effective. Anyway, she ends up kind of face down. And he’s got her hair and he pulls up the knife and I thought he was going to stab her in the back. And he ends up stabbing her in the back of her head where the point comes out her mouth and you get a long leering closeup of this, uh, you know, from the side showing this effect, it’s a pretty good effect.

Craig: And then he gets up and he pulls her. Off the bed, but because he’s popped it, it’s like he’s pulling her out of water and the water of course is all bloody. It was really visceral and it looked really, really good. It was almost out of place in this movie how good it was. And I read that everybody was nervous about filming that scene because in order for the actor who, by the way, that the person who ends up being the killer doesn’t play the killer in his killer garb throughout.

So whoever was in. The costume had to use a real knife in order to be able to slash the water bed and everybody was concerned, but I guess, you know, it, it worked out and she didn’t die.

Todd: So God, can you imagine?

Craig: No, I can’t. I mean, I just wouldn’t do that. I. I don’t know, maybe as a performer, I’d be like, Ooh, I’m sacrificing for my art or whatever.

But as a director, I would just say, no, we’re going to have to figure out a different way to do it. But you know, they did it and it looked great. I mean, it’s probably the best looking scene of the whole cool movie by far.

Todd: Yeah. It’s very Argento S it looks just, it looks pulled straight out of one of those movies.

Maybe it was, maybe we’ll be watching some giallo pig and we’ll be like, Oh, This is that seed that he stole this from? Uh, you’re right. It’s fantastic. And then we see the killer, uh, like the feet and the hands of the killer, open up a cooler somewhere. One of these walk in coolers

Craig: know like an industrial freezer.

I still don’t really understand where that was.

Todd: I don’t either. Must’ve been the kitchen at the school or something who knows. And, uh, yeah. And there’s a body hung up in there and I wasn’t even sure whose body that was.

Craig: Me either.

Todd: It was like a random body, but this is the, this is where you start to get a clue as to what’s going on, obviously.

Yeah. Keeping these pieces. But, so he has a full on body in there, so it’s not. As clear as it ought to be. You know, what I would like to see is a table, you know, with some arms and some legs and a torso on it, all kind of like placed together and you never see that you never get that at all in the movie.

So it’s really nice, clear.

Craig: I think that they were trying to save it as this. Surprise reveal because I read the synopsis before I watched the movie. So I knew that’s what he was doing. And you should have been able to figure out that he was collecting body parts because he always leaves most of the body, but he always takes something like the first thing he took was the head.

And then from another girl he took the arm. Um, and then I don’t know, remember what he took from the waterbed girl. Um, but then right after that, He kills the tennis player girl, not, not

Todd: our

Craig: undercover lady, but just a random tennis player girl. He kills her in the locker room and he takes her legs. Like she’s cut from the waist down.

Um, and that scene is not particularly notable except for the fact that once again, she recognizes him, she knows who it is. It’s not revealed to us, but she knows who it is. And the other notable thing about that scene as he chases her around in the locker room, and then he chases her into a bathroom and he saw was the door open.

And I thought that it was kind of, I seen it before or so I didn’t think it was that weird, but it felt kind of weird in this movie that they show that she pees her pants. Yeah. Fear. But I read. That the actress was so terrified at the chainsaw coming through the door, that she literally peed her pants and they just kept it.

Now I kind of find that hard to believe because when she pees her pants,

Todd: it’s a

Craig: closeup on her. You know, PP area.

Right? Why else, why else would they be focusing there unless they knew it was going to happen. But anyway, that’s what I read. So whatever. Yeah, well,

Todd: it’s particularly cruel. I think, you know, I mean, there are points when the exploitation, which is, you know, doesn’t really have a lot of tastes when this movie is, is truly tasteless, you know, and yeah.

This aspect of it. Oh, wow. Check it out. This girl is so scared. She’s peeing her pants and we’re going to show you up close is particularly tasteless and you’re right. I don’t buy it for one bit that. I mean, they would have had to reshoot it because, uh, the camera’s focused right there and yeah, it’s a closeup and it, and it’s happening.

Um, I don’t think this is the production should have had multiple cameras on scene. For sure. And he saw us into her torso and apparently they used a pig, a carcass to get the closeups of the sawing through here. You know, the, the Gore in this movie, from what I read online, most of it was achieved simply by throwing a bunch of actual animal and trails and blood everywhere.

And the aftermath that they see of this girl is a bit iconic as well. They opened the door just to show us her body one more time as the cops show up and. And look, and there she is, you know, without her legs propped up in the corner with blood everywhere and on her and, you know, guts coming out of her, of her chest chest area.

It’s, it’s pretty gross. It’s pretty tasteless, but it’s very, Grindhouse very drive in movie. You know, this movie really accomplished what it was. One who was setting out to achieve it. Didn’t disappoint. Yeah.

Craig: No, no, it is pretty gnarly. And it’s, it’s not the camera doesn’t linger on it for very long. Right.

And I think that that’s wise because it’s almost more shocking that you just kind of get a glimpse of it. Um, because it is it’s carnage. I mean, it’s, it’s pretty gross, but of course, Kendall and Mary. Are there because their Kendall’s always there whenever a murder happen, Benz. And he goes in and finds her and then he comes out and Mary goes in, I think looks, or maybe she doesn’t even go in and look, she just reacts, which is my second favorite part of the movie.

And I insist. That you put in this audio reaction?

Yes. While we were out here, funneling with that music, the lazy bastard was in there.

Oh my God. I have a, I have a big red star next to it in my notes.

Todd: Just when you think the scene is going to end, there’s at least two more bastards coming.

It’s. It’s great.

Craig: And I don’t remember exactly what happens. We see the killer, like put his mom’s. Choose on the feet of a body or something. And then Mary, like just happens to run into Kendall campus and she shuts, she says, she’s going to go. So talk to the Dean about something. And he says, well, the Dean won’t be home until later because he always goes to Arlington on the first of every month.

And. Even though I already knew who it was. PS guys. It was the Dean all along. Um, even though I had known that for a long time, this, this is where it was. I meant it because in the opening scene with when the killer was a kid, there was a photograph of his dad. In his air force uniform on, uh, his dresser and the mom made some mention of it.

So I knew that the killer’s dad had been in the service. Um, so the fact that he visited our LinkedIn once a month, I’m like, ah, okay. So it’s definitely him. And it was wow. I know. I’m really smart. Todd. You’d never given me enough.

Todd: I won’t start, but you know, just this one time.

Craig: Okay. Fine. Um, and then Kendall goes to help.

One of the cops go through some records while Mary goes to visit the Dean and they should have just started with the records because apparently right there in the records, it says, Oh yeah, the Dean’s a psychopath.

Todd: That’s right.

Craig: So they figure it out and then they have to, they have to race to try to. Save Mary. And that leads up to the finale, the final

Todd: confrontation. It’s such a belabored scene too, because we all know what’s going on and Mary’s in there and he sits down and asked her if she wants some coffee and it’s so dated.

It’s cute. He walks into the other room, which I, this is his apartment. Right. At first I thought it was his office, but I guess it’s his apartment. It must be because it’s got this new mass, the

Craig: house.

Todd: Yeah. Massive European style kitchen pulls out these European style cups and a European style coffee pot

Craig: then makes her some Sanka

Todd: saying, it says, call us from the other room.

It’s instant coffee. Is that all right? She was like, Oh, that’s fantastic. Fantastic.

And she asked for some cream and a little bit of saccharin, which is also cute. And he pulls out a little vile with a dropper from the, the, uh, cabinet. He’s looking really nervous as he drops in stuff into her coffee, never does put the cream in a, but pours the water in and brings it out to her. And they have a little talk while she drinks or coffee.

And she asks them a very pointed question and he says, um, Well, do you want some more coffee first? She’s like, okay. Then we get they’re long ass scene of him bringing the coffee cups back into the kitchen, adding like 10 more drops of whatever he’s putting in her coffee. Uh, bringing her out more coffee that she drinks it.

She feels woozy. And then of course the whole confession where whatever he’s given her has paralyzed her. Sort of, but he can hear, you can hear everything I’m saying, but you can’t move because I drugged your coffee. Huh. And he pulls out, uh, some shoes, those shoes, and it turns out that her feet are a perfect fit.

So the idea I think here is that he’s going to solve her feet at the very least and kill her too. Right. But thankfully, uh, just as he’s about to do the deed Kendall. Pops in, in the Nick of time

Craig: and the cops, because the cops bring Kendall because why wouldn’t you bring a civilian? Right.

Todd: Well, at first it’s Kendall and they fight and it looks like he’s going to get Kendall and he’s on top of him and he’s got a knife and it looks like he’s got the best of them.

Then the cops person at the last moment. And with one quick shot, straight through the door, Shoot him point point in the middle of forehead. Uh, and he falls over dead. And then you think it’s pretty much over,

Craig: well, I love that, that, you know, after the killer is dead, but Mary is still paralyzed. I don’t even know who it was, but like some man strokes her face

Todd: and hair and like,

Craig: Uh, searingly and she can’t move, but she could just kind of bad her eyes and smile up at him.

Like you’re hands off. Are you creepo? Rose, even move.

Todd: It is gross,

Craig: but yeah, it leads up to

Todd: God. So Kendall standing and, uh, the lieutenant’s assistant can’t remember his name, uh, has says, Hey, look at this and pulls out a jigsaw puzzle, which if you’re watching closely, it’s pretty obvious that the puzzle he’s showing him doesn’t match the closeup that they’re showing of the puzzle.

But anyway, uh, it’s a puzzle. He must have really been into puzzles and puzzling blah, blah, blah. And at this moment for no good reason, the bookshelf. Behind them suddenly spins around. It’s one of those fake bookshelf things. And this body that this guy apparently has been working on falls down on onto Kendall and slow motion.

It’s, it’s a Frankenstein, esque type woman who’s been pieced together. Yeah. And he screams, ah, and there’s like a freeze frame on that. And I thought, Oh, okay, we’re going to get the credits now. Nope, then it’s like, okay. Uh, pick her up. Well, that was weird. Wasn’t it? Yeah. I guess he’s trying to assemble body parts to create the perfect woman or whatnot.

Well, I’m glad this is all over. And at that second, uh, hand reaches up from under, Oh no. Kendall standing over that. Corpse of the, yeah, the woman who’s been pieced together with covering over and the guy says, stop looking at that. It’s okay. We can go now. And Kendall’s like, all right. And suddenly the hand of this corpse shoots up and grabs him in the balls and squeezes and there’s blood

Craig: and she’s

Todd: screaming and, and freeze frame, freeze frame,

Craig: and then credits.

Todd: What in the actual,

Craig: I did this movie

Todd: hilarious. Take a sudden turn to the supernatural at the very, very end. I

Craig: don’t know, but I’m glad they did because it was a really stupid movie, but that was funny. Like it was all hilarious. It’s

Todd: funny. Unlike like an airplane, Jerry Abrams level,

Craig: I know

Todd: none of the rest of you

Craig: and it comes out of nowhere.

Todd: Yes. None of the rest of this movie had this, anything like this kind of comedy, except for in the very beginning, that girl roller skating into a fricking mirror.

Craig: Yeah.

Todd: Was this the bookend.

Craig: Oh, man, I tell you what this was. It was, so it was so stupid. It was such a stupid movie. And really like,

Todd: there are parts

Craig: of that. I’m like, God, goddammit, Todd. Sorry, do as the movies. Um, but especially with the hand, like claw. Dick at the end. That’s okay.

Todd: Soccer for a hand on a Dick. Aren’t you, you

Craig: know everybody.

Oh, so no, so yeah, no, uh, I would not. Necessarily recommend this movie too. Anybody again, as we I’m sure people just get sick of us saying the same shit over and over again. But like, if you’re looking for a movie to sit around with your buddies and that was perfect. And joke around like that. Yeah, that’s great.

It’s a bad movie, but if you’re just looking for something to goof on, go for it.

Todd: Yeah. Watch it with friends though. Don’t watch it by yourself. It’s no fun by yourself. Much more fun to laugh at with other people. Well, thank you again for listening to another episode. If you enjoyed it, please share it with a friend where you can find us online, just search for two guys and a chainsaw, and you’ll find our website.

You’ll find our Facebook page. Uh, you’ll find another video you really don’t want to watch, uh, but go to one of those other places. I just mentioned, leave us a comment. And also if you have any requests, That you would like us to do in the near future. We are plowing through those as well until next time.

I’m Todd

Craig: and I’m Craig.

Todd: with Two Guys and a Chainsaw.