TonioTimeDaily

"I suppose you could say that sex on screen is like an edited version of sex in real life, and of course they are there for entertainment purposes and serve as plot devices, but there is a distinct lack in truly realistic sex scenes out there.

By realistic here, I don't necessarily mean graphic. You could have a realistic sex scene without any nudity whatsoever if executed correctly. Of course nudity plays a part in real-life sex, but it doesn't always have a place on TV. However, I think that realistic sex does.

I also think it's important to have a diverse representation of people having sex, including different ethnicities, ages, genders, sexualities, disabilities and sizes. Recently I watched the Netflix series Easy, a show revolving around sex and relationships. While they had quite a diverse casting, the female characters were all extremely slim. I found this to be quite hypocritical as the male characters were all of varying body types, as if suggesting it's ok for men but not for women to be a certain size. I definitely think there should have been a fairer representation of female bodies, not for "empowerment" purposes, but just to highlight what different bodies look like, and that larger women can enjoy sex too.

Fair and diverse representation of characters is important as the audience can identify more easily with someone who is like them in some way. It's also important to present sex scenes as natural, rather than objectifying or demonising those involved. In this way, viewers will be reassured that their sexuality, wants and desires are normal.

In portraying more realistic and diverse sex scenes on TV, people in minority groups and younger people will learn that sex is more than just penetration, can take time and doesn't have to meet a certain aesthetic to be good.

Blue Valentine also captures real sex. The whole thing probably happens a few minutes too fast, but it’s way more honest, vivid, and truthful. But it’s a really emotional scene that shows two people connect on a physical level; it’s believable, but it’s also really wonderful.

So when will we finally have more realistic sex represented in mainstream entertainment? Is Heritage right? Is real sex too miserable to watch? Are we too afraid to show human sexual fallibility without it being some exaggerated joke?

Here’s what I wish people making TV and movie decisions would understand: A fairy tale is a fairy tale, but sex doesn’t always have to be a piece of cake. It doesn’t always need to be clean and perfect. Fictional sex should make room for flaws, for discomfort, and for awkwardness. Isn’t imperfection way more interesting, anyway?"

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