Note: This is an OG episode of BFTB. For some of my older episodes, I’ve decided to archive them and make them available only for Premium Submarines. Enjoy this throwback episode.Original episode description: If you identify with the symptoms of borderline personality disorder (also known as BPD or EUPD), it’s likely you’ve heard of “splitting.” Splitting is a defense mechanism that causes a person to view something or someone in ‘black and white’ terms (i.e., “all good” or “all bad.) This episode is part one in a three-part deep dive series on BPD splitting behaviors. If you identify with BPD, it’s likely you’re not conscious of when you’re splitting or why it happens. This can be a very painful and isolating experience. By listening to this series, you'll finally become aware of these self-sabotaging patterns and become better connected to yourself and those around you...
http://backfromtheborderline.com
episode 5: 5. Experiencing Psychiatric Hospitalization as an HSP with BPD (ft. Courtney Cook)
This is part one of my interview with artist, writer and mental health advocate, Courtney Cook. This year, she released her debut graphic memoir, “The Way She Feels: My Life on the Borderline in Pictures and Pieces." The book provides a candid and brave look at her life and struggles with BPD, depression, anxiety and OCD through a combination of her colorful and unique artwork and personal essays.
Follow & support the podcast (& join the Discord recovery community): click here
Below is a breakdown of the subjects we covered in part 1:
• BPD and creativity - how Courtney uses her art and writing to connect to others
• Courtney's experience growing up in a sheltered "village" in suburban Illinois
• Being born with a nagging sense of emptiness, regardless of her "idyllic" upbringing
• Family history of mental health problems
• Growing up feeling like "a turtle without a shell" and how it feels to be a highly sensitive person (HSP)
• Childhood friend groups turned toxic
• On being told as a teen that she would "grow out of " her big feelings
• The hesitation to diagnose teens with BPD even after periods suicidal ideation / attempt
• On teen angst and feeling like a lost cause
• On Gooning (the legal industry of kidnapping teens and forcing them to process their feelings in the wilderness)
• On the guilt and shame of feeling depressed when we are in positions of privilege ("Why can't I be happy if I have all the things in place to feel whole and satisfied?"
• Being a "frequent flier of the psychiatric hospitals of the Chicago area"
• Her diagnosis at age 23 and feeling like things "clicked into place"
• Switching towns, schools and friends (owning our victim mindset and projections)
• The stigma against BPD in the mental health community and beyond
• Neuroplasticity and our brain's ability to modify, change, and adapt both structure and function throughout life and in response to experience (how this provides hope for BPD recovery)
• Courtney's relationship and experience with SSRIs and antipsychotics for BPD (Lexapro, Abilify)
• Struggles with OCD, body dysmorphia, dermatillomania, and trichotillomania
• How she was able to begin to re-frame and re-train her brain to find hope
• Internalized ableism and demonization of BPD
• On BPD and relationships and feeling “too much” and “crazy”
Follow Courtney on Instagram @thewaycourtneyfeels
Visit Courtney's website
Buy "The Way She Feels: My Life on the Borderline in Pictures and Pieces"
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