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Understanding the Difference Between Regret and Remorse
Show Notes:
In this question and answer dialog, Guy talks about how regret over our actions does not change anything, while genuine remorse is connected to an awareness of our actual powerlessness, which allows for real change to take place.
Highlights:
Question: I'm just wondering about when you're in a moment with someone, and you feel this discrepancy between your point of view and their point of view. And you're somewhat aware that you're identified, and you're causing pain, but you barrel through the moment anyway. And it's not until you weren't in the right place at the right time, et cetera. But later, you feel remorse. Is there a value in that remorse? Or is it only in the moment of that flash of light in the actual moment when you're doing it?
Guy's reply: Okay, I understand the question. First, we have to understand there's a difference between regret and remorse. Regret is always that I didn't live up to the image that I have up myself in that moment. And I'm comparing what I did to who I think I should be. I regret that. That changes nothing at all. Remorse, on the other hand, is the deep awareness of my own powerlessness, that's remorse. That's where real prayer starts, too, Denise. So remorse is the awareness of powerlessness, and that awareness of powerlessness is the aha that follows the moment that you missed. Does everyone understand that? Is it too subtle? Our work is to move, as it must Denise, everybody. Sweet god, how are we ever going to get over this idea that we're perfect? No, we are the ground of the revelation of perfection, but this instrument, this body, this mind, these sentences, are so far from perfect other than in their perfect ability to be the expression of the marriage of this. I'm in pain because I'm a mess. I mean, I'm working studying for 40,000 years, and I still find myself in some frustration. God, what a wreck I am. Know how you love to listen to something in you that can't wait to condemn you. But the aha is the recognition that I've been condemning myself, regretting myself for all of this time, and not one thing has changed for all of that pain. Why? Because it's useless pain. Ah... the revelation of useless pain turns useless pain into something that produces aha. Then you've got something.
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