TonioTimeDaily

BIPOC Adult Industry Collective values are my values!

"We will respect the bodily/autonomy of every person and make every attempt to listen and improve with correction if we harm. We will not put our intentions, wants, and desires before the needs of others. We will not touch folks without permission when in-person with one another. We will not send unsolicited nudes. We will ask for an enthusiastic yes in touching another person both within the collective and in our personal lives. We trust folks to decide what boundaries to assert and hold for themselves. We respect the words “no,” “I don’t know,” “maybe,” and “not right now” to mean “no.” We will not treat folks differently when they say no. We will not interrogate folks’ no. We will not question folks’ no. We will respect folks’ no. We will not use, violate and weaponize our different or shared identities and subject positions in the world to coerce folks into a yes and to make excuses for engaging in the touch (of any kind) with/of others. Boundaries are not exclusive to the body, touch, or physical. They can include verbal (and many) other forms of unwanted contact.

We will respect boundaries.

We will ground our understanding of our own embodied experiences and varying knowledge. In this space, we hold up the knowledge we have acquired from varying sources and methods. We acknowledge that institutional learning is no better-lived experience and will not treat others differently based on their ability or experience in academia. It is ok to be at a different point in your learning or political development than other participants. We are here to build collective knowledge through sharing from where we are. 

We see learning as political education and essential to revolution. We understand that there is more work to be done but hold space for the work we are doing to learn amongst our own, question amongst our own, and build an intentional community. 

We will honor and use folks’ correct pronouns. We won’t ask intrusive questions around folks’ gender. We will make every effort to get them right and when we fuck up, we will make every attempt to correct and make amends without centering one’s self. Pronouns are not a preference. If this is and feels new to you, be patient with yourself but make every effort. It may require that you slow down, especially when talking. That is okay. Mis-gendering happens. But when it happens, it is not a ‘mistake’. It is learned behavior that can be unlearned. It is a symptom of colonial, capitalist, gender violence and we have to learn to do better and be better. 

Take space and make space. Those of us who take space are encouraged to make space when they would ordinarily share. Those of us who make space are encouraged to take space when they wouldn’t ordinarily share. You are encouraged to say what needs to be said. During meetings, you are encouraged to ask yourself these questions: Does this need to be said? Does this need to be said by me? Does this need to be said by me right now? And/or: Why do I feel the need to keep what needs to be said aloud inside me?  Can I take a risk? What are the benefits? How do I release any expectations of myself steeped in whiteness, respectability, and perfection to be, look or sound a way other than what I showed up as (with respect to the agreements.)  Taking space and making space can look/feel/be different based on the multiplicity of intersecting identities, particularly with regard to race, gender, sexuality, size, and various relationships to education, knowledge, and ways of knowing. That is okay. I trust that folks will make space for nuance. This is a space for BIPOC people to speak freely and have their ideas met with support."

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