TonioTimeDaily

https://jimhopper.com/topics/child-abuse/sexual-abuse-of-boys/facts-about-sexual-abuse-of-boys/ "Whether he is gay, straight or bisexual, a boy’s sexual orientation is neither the cause or the result of sexual abuse.

By focusing on the abusive nature of sexual abuse rather than the sexual aspects of the interaction, it becomes easier to understand that sexual abuse has nothing to do with a boy’s sexual orientation.

There are different theories about how sexual orientation develops, but experts in human sexuality do not believe that sexual abuse or premature sexual experiences play a significant role. There is no good evidence that someone can ‘make’ another person be homosexual or heterosexual. Sexual orientation is a complex issue and there is no single answer or theory that explains why someone identifies himself as homosexual, heterosexual or bi-sexual.

It is common, however, for boys and men who have been abused to express confusion about their sexual identity and orientation, whether they identify as straight, gay or bi-sexual. Some guys who identify as heterosexual fear that, due to their experiences as boys, they must ‘really’ be homosexual. They may believe they can’t be a ‘real man,’ as defined by the larger society.

Even men who clearly identify as heterosexual, and men who project very traditional heterosexual traits, may fear that others will ‘find them out’ as gay or not real men.

Men who identify as gay or bi-sexual may wonder if their sexual orientation was influenced in any way by the unwanted or abusive experiences or may even be the cause of their orientation.

Also, many boys abused by males wonder if something about them sexually attracted the person who abused them and will unknowingly attract other males who will misuse them. While these are understandable fears, they are not true. One of the great tragedies of childhood sexual abuse is how it robs a person’s natural right to discover his own sexuality in his own time.

It is very important to remember that abuse arises from the abusive person's failure to develop and maintain healthy adult sexual relationships, and his or her willingness to sexually use and abuse kids. It has nothing to do with the preferences or desires of the child who is abused, and therefore cannot determine a person’s natural sexual identity."

"Girls and women can sexually abuse boys.

From a very early age, boys learn that any sexual experience with girls and women, especially older ones, is a good one – and evidence that he’s a ‘real man.’

Again, the confusion comes from focusing on the sexual aspect rather than the abusive aspect, that is, the exploitation and betrayal by a more powerful, trusted or admired person (who can be a child or adult).

In reality, premature, coerced or otherwise abusive or exploitive sexual experiences are never positive – whether they are imposed by an older sister, sister of a friend, baby sitter, neighbor, aunt, mother, or any other female in a position of power over a boy. At a minimum, they cause confusion and insecurity. They almost always harm boys’ and men’s capacities for trust and intimacy.

A gay man who experienced sexual arousal when abused by a female may wonder whether it means that he is actually straight or wonder what it means that he was chosen by a woman or older girl.

Being sexually used or abused, whether by males or females, can cause a variety of other emotional and psychological problems. However, boys and men often don’t recognize the connections between what happened and their later problems. To be used as a sexual object by a more powerful person, male or female, is never a good thing, and can cause lasting harm."

--- Send in a voice message: https://anchor.fm/antonio-myers4/message Support this podcast: https://anchor.fm/antonio-myers4/support