TonioTimeDaily

"One way you can determine if you are about to engage in healthy sex is by asking yourself if your current situation meets all the requirements of the C.E.R.T.S. healthy sex model.

1. CONSENT: Can I freely and comfortably choose whether or not to engage in sexual activity? Am I able to stop the activity at any time during the sexual contact?

2. EQUALITY:Is my feeling of personal power on an equal level with my partner? Does neither of us dominate the other?

3. RESPECT: Do I have a positive regard for myself and for my partner? Do I feel respected by my partner? Do I feel supportive of my partner and supported by my partner?

4. TRUST: Do I trust my partner on both a physical and emotional level? Do we have a mutual acceptance of vulnerability and an ability to respond to each other with sensitivity?

5. SAFETY: Do I feel secure and safe within the sexual setting? Am I comfortable with and assertive about where, when and how the sexual activity takes place? Do I feel safe from the possibility of unwanted pregnancy and/or STDs?"

"The Healthy Sex Trust Contract4

• It's okay to say no to sex at ANY TIME.
• It's okay to ask for what we want sexually, without being teased or shamed for it.
• We don't ever have to do anything we don't want to do sexually.
• We will take a break or stop sexual activity whenever either of us requests it.
• It's okay to say how we are feeling or what we are needing at ANY TIME.
• We agree to be responsive to each other's needs for improving physical comfort.
• What we do sexually is private and not to be discussed with others outside our relationship unless we give permission to discuss it.
• We are ultimately responsible for our own sexual fulfillment and orgasm.
• Our sexual thoughts and fantasies are our own and we don't have to share them with each other unless we want to reveal them.
• We don't have to disclose the details of a previous sexual relationship unless that information is important to our present partner's physical health or safety.
• We can initiate or decline sex without incurring a negative reaction from our partner.
• We each agree to be sexually faithful unless we have a clear, prior understanding that it's okay to have sex outside the relationship (this includes virtual sex, such as phone or internet sex).
• We will support each other in minimizing risk and using protection to decrease the possibility of disease and/or unwanted pregnancy.
• We will notify each other immediately if we have or suspect we have a sexually transmitted infection.
• We will support each other in handling any negative consequences that may result from our sexual interactions."

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