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Josh Cary

The Hidden Entrepreneur Show

Joshcary.com/about

SUMMARY KEYWORDS

podcasting,

emotion, attract, people, message, capable, josh, life, day, world, event,

noise, identify, ed, methodically, founders, habits, retaliate, hidden, happen

SPEAKERS

Ed Watters,

Josh Cary

Ed Watters 

00:00

The

power that we can find in podcasting. It can change hearts. It can change

minds. It can change the world. Stories change lives. And it takes you to help

get out there and tell your story. So you can impact make a difference. Our

guest today does just that. He went from hiding himself to really opening up

and helping others find themselves and change the world. We're going to talk

with Josh Cary today, the co-founder of PodMax. Let's get right into this great

interview. To overcome, you must educate. Educate not only yourself but

educate anyone seeking to learn. We are all Dead America. We can all learn

something. To learn. We must challenge what we already understand. The way we

do that is through conversation. Sometimes we have conversations with others.

However, some of the best conversations happen with ourselves. Reach Out and

challenge yourself. Let's dive in and learn something right now. Today we have

Josh Cary with us. He is the host of The Hidden Entrepreneur. Josh, could you

please introduce yourself? Tell people who you are, what you do, and how you

got to where you are today, please?

Josh Cary 

03:06

I

absolutely will. Thanks. By the way, Ed, for inviting me on Dead America. I'm

already a fan. I love it all. So long story short, today, I am, like you said I'm

the hidden entrepreneur. And that's because I spent 40 years hiding. I showed

up in every situation, hiding my true self, my true talent, and everything that

I was actually capable of achieving. I did that because I was so fearful of

rocking the boat, and I didn't want to come across like I was so capable and

powerful. Because then what might happen, you might retaliate if you felt a

little insecure about what you're capable of. Right? Because if I'm just

inadvertently doing my thing, coming up with something wonderful, powerful, you

know, quite quite great. Something certainly in my wheelhouse. It might make

you feel insecure. And if you retaliated, I felt growing up that I didn't have

the strength or ability to defend against that. So I just avoided it

altogether. Now what was so difficult was behind closed doors, what caused so

much angst, anger, depression, dare I say jealousy was because every moment of

every day I knew what I was capable of doing. So that that whole disconnect

just created this, this whole miserable person. Now cut to today, I'm the proud

father. I have two adoring children, a seven-year old daughter, a five-year-old

son, who early on in their young lives. I realized that I see what's happening

here. I'm the child in this circle. I'm the one throwing the tantrum. And

they're looking at me like, you got to do something about that. And I made that

immediate case to do just that. And I knew that I didn't want to continue down that

path. Because if I did, and they grew up with that kind of father, how is that

going to wind up for them? Right? We know that outcome. So I said, I got it in

this scenario, no more, no, how I'm going to try to just show up a little bit

better each day. And that's what I did a few years ago, I said, No more playing

small, no more not doing what I know I'm capable of, I'm going to get out

there. I'm going to find the people that get this and appreciate this. And I

appreciate them and attract a different kind of person into my world. I created

a podcast because I said, you know what I want to, I want to document all of

this stuff, see where it goes. And dare I say, I might be good. At a podcast,

I've never done one before. But I, I just felt drawn to it, showed up each and

every day looking for opportunity, looking for what's next, trying to improve

my day, day in and day out. And those habits just started stacking on

themselves. And lo and behold, here I am. I'm a show host over 200 combined

episodes with a couple of my shows. The co-founder of a of an event and

production company called PodMax, where we give entrepreneurs and founders the

chance to improve and work on their message and record their message on shows

and just couldn't ask for a better life because I made that decision to stop

playing small.

Ed Watters 

06:48

That's

remarkable. When we choose to change our life. It makes a big difference in the

whole world. Not only in our life but your children's lives. And the people

that surround your children. And you. You make a big difference in the world

podcasting. It's an empowerment tool. It makes you challenge yourself. It helps

you find yourself. I love the name of your podcast, The Hidden Entrepreneur.

Could you touch on that? And tell us why you chose the name The Hidden

Entrepreneur?

Josh Cary 

07:30

Yeah, so

prior to that, I had spent 10 years running my own digital marketing firm. And

you know, serving an audience. There building websites, search engine ranking,

that whole thing. Now I was at the peak of my misery. So I attracted exactly

who I was. Right? I attracted the miserable, angry, depressed, and wondered day

in and day out. Why can't I crawl out of this this world? Why do I keep

attracting all these crazy negative people, I just have to change something. I

don't want this. But you get you know, you, you attract who you are, and you

get who you are. So I just couldn't figure it out until that one day where I

did and started making the change. I knew that I needed to basically rip the band-aid off because, like any other toxic relationship, that business was toxic for

me. I just wasn't my best. I wasn't attracting myself. I wasn't doing my best.

So I made that very, very strong decision to say, I'm out. I'm done. I gotta

find something else. I didn't know what that next thing was. I had no clue. But

I said it's just like if you're in a bad relationship, right? You're like, I

don't know what relationship is next. But I know this one ain't serving me, and

I gotta go. So I went, and I gave myself some time a few months and just figured

out what I wanted to do. And one day, that phrase came to me, I said, The

Hidden Eawv4+ntrepreneur. And it just seemed to feel right. It just seemed to

work and having in those few months, outlined my story and said, What is my

message here? Who am I? What do I want to become? Where do I want to go? What

do I want to talk about? The whole hidden concept of, you know, playing small

and hiding all of my power, my talent, my ability, in exchange for desperately

seeking the approval, it never worked. And what's what's quite miraculous is in

that shift, I was scared that I would attract the same you know when when I'm

playing in this negative playground, I feared in the beginning that I wonder if

I come out with my strength and my power and just start doing things that is

exciting and relevant. I wonder if these people are going to retaliate like I

always feared. And I said You know what, I just got to go for it. Because it's,

it's never going to work any other way. So slowly but surely, when I started

putting those actions into play and started showing up and putting myself out

there and doing what I knew darn well, I've always been capable of doing that.

And side note, I believe we all have that same knowledge, power, and ability.

Sometimes we go through phases where we're like, oh, I don't know what I want,

or I don't know what I should do, or I don't know what I could do. I'd venture

to say; you do, right, you really somewhere whether surfaced or slightly deeper

in the back of your mind, body or soul, you know, darn well, what you want to

be doing and are capable of doing. We're just scared out of our minds to do it.

So we don't, but you must, because like, in my case, not only are the negative

people nowhere to be found, because I'm not focusing on them. Right? I've given

up that fear, which means that they're nowhere in my world. What is in my world

are a plethora of growing powerful people that day in and day out, I see

surrounding me like a force field. And I use that to my advantage. And I think

about who's on my team, who's on my side, who could I call upon if I needed

something. And these people in my mind just surround me. And I think nobody's

getting through this. This is great. So by doing what you know, darn well,

you're capable of doing, you attract the very people who are that replica. Who

are that mirror impression that we all are of each other. And who do support

it. And who do say, Wow, man, great job. Look at what you're doing. I love

that; I think the same way. And everything works out well.

Ed Watters 

12:15

That's a

powerful message. I love it, Josh, that ties into with your saying F that

noise. There's a five-step process you talk about. Lay into us on that. Let's

get the lowdown on the five-step process of F that noise.

Josh Cary 

12:36

I sure

will, so early on, when I started seeing some positive results from the actions

I was taking, which is basically just methodically, slowly but surely one at a

time, choosing to replace some of the some of the negative habits, patterns, and

beliefs with slightly better ones. Sometimes it was obvious, right? I'm like,

Well, I should probably stop doing that every single night. Or I betcha there's

a better way to go about this in the afternoon because that ain't helping any

of us. So some of things are easy to replace others, you have to be a little

more deliberate and conscious, or maybe it's not the right time. But once you

start implementing better habits over time, I went back in my mind, and I said,

How did I get from there to here with certainly acknowledging that it's all a

process, and I have so far to continue to go it never really ends with the with

the growth that's possible and the achievement that is right there for all of

us. So I said, what have I been doing? And I sort of mapped out what made it

work, and I realized that it came to be something I labeled F that noise like

you said, Yes, F that noise, all that noise in your head, that are all your own

negative beliefs. But also, it's a five-step process. It's a N O I S E, and I'll

certainly break each one down for you. So you could do the same exercise for

yourself and see some growth and progress. It all begins with emotion. We go

throughout our day, and we are methodically and often habitually hit with emotion,

that something on the outside enters our awareness and we are what we say is

triggered, right? And we we get angry, we get flustered. We get annoyed, we get

upset, we get jealous, all these ugly emotions that don't really do us every

any good, but our bodies scientifically proven, create these things in our body

that become habitual, and then we start craving these emotions. How Often, in my

years past, when I put my children to bed and get that routine going, and every

single night without fail, I would get into a certain negative emotional state

because my body was searching for it because it was a habit. So it all starts

with emotion and identifying the predominant emotion that you feel comes into

your life. Time and time again. Now, certainly, there's a variety, but let's

choose one. So the first thing you're going to do is N, which is name, the

emotion; you need a sense of awareness here. What is that emotion? Is it the

anger? Is it jealousy? Is it despair? Is it confusion? Is it annoyance? Is it

aggravation? What is that emotion, name it, then we move on to the O, and you

are going to own that emotion. That's right; you're going to make it yours and

yours alone. Because that does what that puts the power into your hands, it

gives you the responsibility. If you don't want that and you want to blame

others, then this is not for you. But if you're ready to say F that noise, then

own it and say yes, I am, right, that is my emotion, I get it, then we go to

the I. Now we're going to identify with it. And you're going to say; I get it,

I am angry, I am frustrated, I am pissed off whatever it is you need to

identify with it. So we could move through it. Now we're almost in the

home stretch here. Now we're going to move to the S., And we are going to sit

with it. That's right. This could be a few hours, a few days, a few weeks,

whatever it takes. But now that you've named it owned it, identified with it,

now you're going to sit with it, and really become a little more aware of when

what times of the day are you experiencing this it is it around a certain

person, a certain topic, a certain event, a certain time of day, right? Become

aware of this. So then, eventually, you can put some space and distance between

you and the automatic, habitual trigger of that emotion. And then you could

start to see it coming. And sometimes even cut it off and say, Whoa, I'm going

to, I'm going to remove myself, I don't need for that to happen right now. I

can go in a different direction, whether it's physically or emotionally. And then

once you do that over and over again, and you've really mastered each of those,

you segue right into the E, which is you will evolve into the person you've

always been capable of being.

Ed Watters 

18:02

I love

that that should be a T-shirt. If you don't have it printed, you should print

it, Josh.

Josh Cary 

18:08

I

appreciate that, Ed.

Ed Watters 

18:11

Yes, so

finding your voice. That's a hard thing to do. And we've touched a lot on all

of the reasons why not and why it's hard. But after you find that voice, it's

amazing. Talk about finding your voice, please.

Josh Cary 

18:33

You just

said the keyword you said it's hard. Sure one could label it hard. But really,

what in this world might not take, and I'll use a different word, take a little

bit of effort, right? First, you have to want it. And not just yeah, I want

that. No, you have to want it and really understand that you want it and what

you want, and why you want it if you're you know, we've heard it before. If

your why isn't strong enough, it's never going to work for me. Two things. My

children, after 40 plus years, became my strong enough Why. And I'm not unique in

that way. A lot of us have that as our why. But I see that day in and day out.

And I say you know what, I don't want to project 20 years down the road in that

miserable path. And then I'd see them the same way. Be sitting in an empty nest

on my rocking chair, seeing them seeking approval didn't sit well with me in

real-time. So I said, now there's something I can do. If I didn't make the

change, there wouldn't be any change I could do. I would just have to watch it, and I didn't feel comfortable with that. The other thing is I work out an

exercise three to four times a week because my Why is strong enough. I quite

quite bluntly. I don't want to die. Sooner than I have to, and not be there for

my children. So I've said, Well, I'm going to guess exercising is going to

enhance my life as much as I can, and live a healthier lifestyle. So it's a no

brainer for me. Because I have found the why I just want to live longer for my

kids, right? That's, that's a very generally stated why. But it works for me

all this to say, how do you find your voice? You put it out there; you have to

just practice it. What I just said in that last segment, including F, that noise

didn't happen overnight. Didn't happen out of the gate didn't happen

immediately. Just like the stories I just told, i.e., finding your voice. That's

all I've done. That's all I'm doing. So how do you find your voice, you have to

speak. It's not easy, right? There's a lot of fear behind it. And a lot of

people would rather not do it. Okay. But if you can find your why and it's

strong enough, and you want to, you must just speak, speak in writing, put it

out to your audience in some form, right? Social makes it very easy. Put it in

your emails, put it in your in your newsletter, put it in the phone calls you

make put it somewhere. Again, social an easy lift; just get it out there, get

it on paper, carry a notebook, use an app like I do constantly. Once you know

who you are, what you're about what your message is, in the moment, you can

start telling it and start getting the message out. Now I stress the phrase,

once you know the message and the stories in the moment, you can start getting

it out because things change. I've heard too often from people that I coach who

say, you know what, it's not time for me, because I don't have a message. I

don't know a message. I don't know what it is. Well, you A Yes, you do. And B

Yes, you do. The message is whatever it is right now. And it will evolve. When

I made the...