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"3. Overconfidence & Grandiosity About Sexual Performance

Sexual narcissists often portray themselves and their sexual abilities as unique and superior to others. While some research shows that some sexual narcissists do in fact have high sexual esteem and perceive themselves to be good lovers, other research indicates that sexual narcissists are only acting overly confident, grandiose, and arrogant about their sexual performance in order to compensate for an underlying weak sense of self-esteem.

4. Expectation of Praise

To fuel their self-esteem, sexual narcissists will crave, expect, and even demand praise to meet their narcissistic supply. During sex, this may look like ordering partners to express sexual satisfaction or give compliments to the sexual narcissist.

5. Hypersensitivity to Criticism

Sexual narcissists are hypersensitive to criticism about their sexual performance and bodies. When confronted with a suggestion to change positions during sex or move at a different pace, they may ignore or appear disinterested in the feedback, when in reality they experience it as a narcissistic injury. In some cases, perceived criticism will trigger narcissistic rage which involves an outburst of aggression and violence.

6. Aggression or Violence

While aggression during sex for some may be perfectly healthy (e.g., for partners engaging in BDSM), it may indicate someone is a sexual narcissist if they are performing unwanted sexual contact, sexual coercion, or rape.7 Aggression may happen periodically as the result of narcissistic rage, or it’s possible the sexual narcissist prefers all sexual encounters to be aggressive in nature.

7. A Lack of Empathy for Partner’s Needs

Research suggests that while narcissists are in fact capable of empathy, they choose to use it only when it serves them.8 Sexual narcissists typically demonstrate a lack of empathy for their partner’s needs in an effort to serve their own intimacy needs. They may do so while engaging in aggressive behavior, or more generally by ignoring their partner’s requests or preferences in order to prioritize their own.

8. A Sense of Entitlement to Sex

Sexual narcissists expect to get what they want during sex, even when what they want is unreasonable or nonconsensual. They often believe they are owed or deserving of sexual favors and demand that their partners perform certain sexual activities and comply with their expectations.8 If you don’t give in to their demands, they may retaliate with aggression, threats of having sex with someone else, or “the silent treatment.”

9. Exploitation

Sexual narcissists often view people in their lives as objects to meet their sexual needs, which may mean doing anything necessary to reach that goal. Some sexual narcissists collect and threaten blackmail (e.g., sexual photos or videos), tell their partners they would be “nothing” without sex with the narcissist, or guilt their partners into performing sexually."

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