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"Myth #1: You Are Trying to Be ‘Special Snowflakes’ (Or ‘This Is Just a Fad’)

This stereotype comes with the assumption that we’re spoiled and looking for attention by trying to be unique.

In actuality, this is simply our experience of gender, and it has nothing to do with “fads,” although I like to think we can be a fashionable bunch!

Common phrases that adhere to this stereotype include, “You can still wear whatever you want and be a girl/boy,” and “Just pick one already.”

When people say these things, they overlook the difference between gender identity and gender expression. Non-binary people can express our genders in any way that works for us, but at the end of the day, our gender identities still don’t fit solely into “male” or “female.”

For a non-binary person, choosing between being male or female is simply not an option.

The range of non-binary gender identities is nearly boundless — and so are the words we use to describe ourselves. Here is a list of some of those words. Our diversity, far from invalidating our identities, is at the heart of who we are.

Myth #2: You’re Just Confused

Being non-binary does not mean that we’re confused about our genders. It simply means that our gender is not solely male or female, or that we have no gender.

Underlying this myth is the idea that because others are often confused by us, there is no way that we could actually be sure about being non-binary.

There also is the assumption that if we’re confused, then it’s okay for people to decide how to refer to us.

However, there is absolutely nothing wrong with being confused about your gender! Confusion is completely normal and a part of many trans people’s process.

What is unacceptable, though, is invalidating people’s genders because they’re still figuring things out. No matter what, others should affirm and respect our genders."

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