TonioTimeDaily

"1. Take Time to Absorb and Articulate Your Feelings and Thoughts

Self-awareness is always a wonderful quality to have.

In times of crisis, great change, and self-discovery, being self-aware is particularly useful.

When I began to consider whether I was polyamorous or not, I had so many difficult thoughts and feelings. At first, I pushed all the thoughts aside because thinking about being polyamorous was so emotionally taxing for me.

But eventually, I realized it was really helpful – imperative, even – for me to dig deep into my psyche and ask myself some probing questions.

Ask yourself, why is it that you feel you’re polyamorous?

Is it that you feel that you’re capable of loving more than one person at a time? Do you feel you need to love more than one person at a time? Do you feel you need to be loved by more than one person at a time?

Or is your reason completely different? Do you feel okay with the idea of being in a relationship with someone who’s in relationships with others?

You might want to reflect on past relationships. If you felt that you had to conform to monogamous standards before, how did it work for you?

When I explored these questions, I had to look back at my past relationships with a different lens. While I had been in happy, healthy monogamous relationships, I occasionally found myself developing feelings for people while still feeling committed to others.

At the time I thought of myself as a selfish, awful person – but now I began to realize I was just a confused polyamorous person who struggled to manage their feelings.

How do you feel about monogamy? Jealousy? Sharing romantic and/or sexual partners with other people?

You might not have all the answers right now. And that’s perfectly okay – this is a journey to self-awareness, not an exam!

The answers to these questions might change over time. Remember that as people change, the way they approach their relationships might change.

The way we might experience love, romance and/or sexual attraction – if we experience it at all! – can be very fluid.

When I entered my first polyamorous relationship, I honestly had more questions than answers. I still find myself constantly re-examining previous perceptions I had about myself and my sexuality.

My feelings change depending on my partner, my emotional situation, and my mental health. For example, I hardly ever feel jealous about sharing my partner with other people, but if I’m feeling insecure about my career, body or financial situation, I tend to be more jealous.

This feeling of jealousy usually signifies that I have to dig deep emotionally and ask myself why I feel insecure.

It’s incredibly important to stay aware of these feelings and to manage them when they come instead of denying they exist at all."

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