TonioTimeDaily

"Get comfortable with your own body — and be kind to it

What do you do for self-care? What can you do to incorporate your body into that? Maybe it’s taking a candlelit bath. Maybe it’s giving yourself a manicure or pedicure. Maybe it’s sleeping naked. Maybe it’s getting a massage, shaving your legs, exfoliating your face… I don’t know. Regardless, it’s crucial to find ways to take care of your body while you’re exploring your own sexuality. Look at your body in the mirror. Listen to music while you’re getting dressed and ready for the day. Anything that you can do to get comfortable with your body and establish some positive experiences with it is going to be helpful to you. And make sure to nourish your body, too — eat yummy, healthy, exciting foods, and if you’d like, do something that you enjoy for exercise. These, too, will help promote self-care and teach you to appreciate your body, which is a big step. After all, you can’t have sex with yourself or explore your own sexuality in a healthy way if you are ashamed or repulsed by your own body.

Take time to reflect

Don’t leave yourself in the lurch! This will be a learning experience, and at times it might be difficult or emotional or even confusing. Understand that this is normal, and give yourself space to process the things that you’ve learned and discovered about yourself. Maybe that means writing songs. Maybe it’s scribbling a diary entry at the end of every day, or just when you feel like it. Maybe you take photos or make an art piece to sort through your feelings. No matter what it is, make sure that you have a creative or expressive outlet. That way, if you struggle with shame or confusion or negativity or self-hatred, you can process it and hopefully develop more understanding. This also encourages honesty and transparency, and the more you have of that, the better and easier your journey will become, especially in regards to sex.

Encourage yourself to shift your narrative about sexuality

What do you do when a thought about sex or sexuality comes into your head? Do you feel shameful? Do you dismiss it? Do you cringe? Do you try not to think about it? Whatever your response is, if it’s negative, it’s worthy of modifying your perspective. Encourage yourself to dive into those thoughts. When one goes through your head, either internally or out loud, tell yourself, “Hey, this is normal, this is healthy.” Your body is speaking to you, and telling you that this is a topic worthy of exploring. Your body is worthy of love and understanding. And if you ever feel shame, ask yourself what you can do in that moment to alleviate the shame. Can you hop on a sex-positive social media account? Can you listen to a song about self-love and acceptance (“Born This Way,” perhaps — ha!)? Can you stop and take a moment to tell yourself, “I am learning, and I am normal, and I have no reason to be ashamed”? Develop a way to address these negative narratives so that you can encourage more positive ones."

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