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"Tons of research has been done into different types of fantasies, preferences, and sexual desires, and there is no simple answer for why people like the things they do. Human beings and our brains are complex. Some of the reasons that have been suggested for why people enjoy CNC play include:

• Escaping from the guilt society places on women in particular about wanting sex (guilt avoidance).
• The fantasy of being so attractive/irresistible someone can’t help but lose control and take what they want.
• From the other side of things, letting go and giving in to pure desire/primal lust.
• Pleasure found in the addition of adrenaline and heightened awareness/arousal caused by fear, even when it’s a controlled experience.
• Removal of the pressure to perform.
• Working through past trauma.

Many people have these kinds of fantasies without ever figuring out why, and are able to enjoy CNC play. However, if you are having these types of thoughts and fantasies and it bothers you, it’s worth talking to a professional to delve into the underlying feelings and ideas to resolve your discomfort.

It’s not actually about rape, it’s about releasing control.

Understand that CNC play is not about rape. Rape is a violent act in which the victim has no control over what’s happening. As one reddit user pointed out:

I’m sure there are exceptions but generally speaking noone literally wants to be forced into sex by someone they don’t know and don’t trust. Giving in to sex, giving up control, it’s an amazing feeling, but with someone you trust won’t actually harm you. Just like any other fetish. I also like to watch men masturbate, but i don’t want some guy coming up to me in the subway and whipping his junk out to fap. There are boundaries. Rules to discuss beforehand. It is in fact all consensual, even if you decide to “play” and pretend it’s not.

To the contrary, CNC is all about the fantasy of being controlled- basically the creation of an elaborate illusion. In an article on Rebelcircus, one anonymous user explained:

I like to be dominated. If at any point I feel like the experience is not within the confines of what I deem acceptable, my libido is completely turned off. So I love being dominated, bossed around and basically just someone else taking control… but all with consent.So it’s hot when it’s wanted, so really, it’s not actually a big deal. If it’s asked for it doesn’t bear resemblance to rape. It’s just relinquishing control of the situation while still being in control." --- Send in a voice message: https://anchor.fm/antonio-myers4/message Support this podcast: https://anchor.fm/antonio-myers4/support