TonioTimeDaily

“Preparing for BDSM Negotiation If you’re new to negotiating, it might be helpful to do a little work on your own before you talk to a partner. A great tool for pre-negotiation is a yes/no/maybe list, which is a big list of things that you do or do not want to do, as well as what you might be interested in trying. These lists are a great way to organize all of your thoughts in one place, and if both you and your partner fill one out, you can reference each other’s lists to see where your kinks align. One of our favorites is by our friend Bex, and it includes not only ideas for sex and play, but also the types of language you may or may not want to be used, as well as feelings that you may or may not want to play with. Bringing a prepared list of ideas written out on paper to a negotiation is helpful, especially if you’re anxious about forgetting things, or just having the talk in general. Another thing you might want to do is make sure you have ample time allocated the first time you negotiate—preferably not in the few minutes before your first scene! Setting aside a specific chunk of time to talk will help, as it can be easy to get lost in excitement or forget important information if you’re planning to play soon. Good Questions to Ask While Negotiating As far as practical negotiation goes, we’ve gathered a list of specific questions to ask the first time we negotiate with a new partner. What do you/don’t you want to do in our scene? This is naturally the first question, as you’ll both want to know what kind of play you’re interested in getting up to! Take the time here to address your partner’s boundaries and limits when it comes to play. Here you also can discuss what kinds of toys you may want to use and whether or not you plan to engage in any sexual activity during the scene. How do you want to feel? This one is a bit more specific, where you can dig into the heart of how you want to feel during a scene. Some folks like to play in order to get into altered headspaces (sub or top space, puppy or little space, etc.) and it can help to know both what your partner wants to feel, and what gets them there. Some answers may look like: “I want to feel pleasure,” “I want to feel humiliated,” “I want to feel cherished,” “I want to feel dirty,” and so on.” --- Send in a voice message: https://anchor.fm/antonio-myers4/message Support this podcast: https://anchor.fm/antonio-myers4/support