TonioTimeDaily

“USING A RAINCHECK When responding to your partner’s initiation for sex you want to first acknowledge their desire to be close to you by thanking them. This ensures that you are honoring where your partner is at and what they are feeling. Then you want to check in with yourself and see where you are at regarding saying yes to physical intimacy. If it’s a yes to their initiation, well then you can both go play. If it’s not a yes, then ask yourself why and let your partner know. This will honor your feelings and it gives you a voice in the negotiation. Then ask yourself what you can say yes to and when. You have options of negotiating a different intimate activity at that moment your partner initiates, to give a rain check to a different time, or rain check both a different activity and a different time. Negotiating a different activity can be any sort of physical intimacy that doesn’t have to end in penetration or orgasm. Perhaps it’s a yes to a naked massage or making out on the couch. These options for intimacy will be discussed further in my future blog featuring the letter “P”. If it’s a rain check to a different time, you need to make sure that you follow up at the end of the time you said. This means if you say “give me an hour to have some ‘me’ time and then I’ll be ready for intimacy” then by golly at the end of that hour you need to check back in with your partner. This is where you close the loop of the Intimacy Limbo Land and minimize the anxiety of your partner of when they get to be physically close to you and feel your love. When you constantly keep to your word of when you check back in, your partner will begin to learn that your availability is both reliable and dependable. This calms down those anxious thoughts and helps your partner to not keep anxiously reaching out to you.” --- Send in a voice message: https://anchor.fm/antonio-myers4/message Support this podcast: https://anchor.fm/antonio-myers4/support