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“Our friend, Mr. Darne, says giving pleasure is a key trait of someone who is good at sex. “A great lover is always more than willing to give as good as she or he gets. They’re always looking to ‘one-up’ their mate’s attempt to please them.” 5. They are vocal Your first thought here may be the scene from When Harry Met Sally when Sally gives her best orgasm impression. Being vocal doesn't mean loud. It just means expressing your thoughts and feelings through sounds. It can include moans, heavy breathing, whispers, and more. You don't have to yell out, but letting out an “mmm” when you are touched in the right spot is a vocal sign that lets your partner knows you're enjoying what they are doing. A vocal sex partner will let you know how they feel through sounds and, in turn, listen for sounds and learn how to respond to them. Barry Komisaruk, a neuroscientist and the author of The Science of Orgasm, says, “The sound is a representation of the intensity of excitation. If a partner gets excited hearing a shout during sex, then that can be a rewarding communication that bonds the partners and encourages them to do it again.” Talking about sex outside the bedroom also helps. One study found that those who communicate about sex, both in and out of bed, have better sex than those who don’t talk about sex at all. Salt N Pepa were on the money when they said Let’s Talk About Sex. 6. They make sex fun Sex should be fun but isn't always. One depressing study found that many women have sex out of a sense of obligation. Sixty-six percent of women surveyed had sex with their partner to get it out of the way. Sex shouldn't be considered a chore that needs to be ticked off on your weekly to-do list. No one should be having sex out of obligation. Great lovers make sex fun. They mix things up, surprise their partner, and use their research from point one to spice things up. And importantly, they ask their partner what they like. Sex shouldn't be a task but an activity. 7. They are a sex detective Are you a Sherlock Holmes in the sack? A sex detective will pick up on nonverbal sex clues as to what their partner likes. We spoke about vocalization, but this is picking up on body language, eye contact, demeanor. Is your partner feeling body conscious or anxious? Pick up on these cues and build their confidence. A good sex detective will look for cues and clues not only during the act of sex but also perceive when their partner wants to have sex. According to Isiah McKimmie, relationship therapist & sexologist. “Men fail to pick up on a woman’s cues for sex because they’re simply too subtle or there’s a lack of communication. There’s also still a myth that women are less interested in sex than men, and I think both men and women can fall victim to this.” My porn sex and my real life sex are one in the same. I even do vaginal sex (backdoor and front door.) I am open to ethical open relationships (https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Open_relationship.) I am open to all of the types of ethical polyamory with ethical solo polyamory being my favorite: https://www.healthline.com/health/relationships/solo-polyamory and https://www.choosingtherapy.com/polyamory/. I am childfree by my choice, pet free by my choice, staunchly against marriage for myself by my choice, and living totally alone by my choice. I am a switch or versatile, soft Dom and hard Dom when it comes to BDSM. I would love to porn perform with Make Love Not Porn (MLNP.) It is impossible to experience absolute certainty and absolute truth pertaining to deities and messianic figures. --- Send in a voice message: https://anchor.fm/antonio-myers4/message Support this podcast: https://anchor.fm/antonio-myers4/support