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“According to Healthy Sex requires that these five basic conditions be met: Consent, Equality, Respect, Trust, and Safety Let's look at each of these conditions more closely: CONSENT means you can freely and comfortably choose whether or not to engage in sexual activity. You are able to stop the activity at any time during the sexual contact. EQUALITY means your sense of personal power is on an equal level with your partner. Neither of you dominates the other. RESPECT means you have positive regard for yourself and for your partner. You feel respected by your partner. TRUST means you trust your partner on both a physical and emotional level. You have mutual acceptance of vulnerability and an ability to respond to it with sensitivity. SAFETY means you feel secure and safe within the sexual setting. You are comfortable with and assertive about where, when and how the sexual activity takes place. You feel safe from the possibility of harm, such as unwanted pregnancy, sexually transmitted infection, and physical injury. It takes spending time together and engaging in lots of honest, open communication to make sure that the CERTS conditions are operating in your relationship. That's why it is important to build a strong friendship with a partner first, before becoming lovers. Meeting the CERTS conditions does not ensure that you'll experience terrific sex, but it can help you feel more secure knowing you've minimized the possibility of something bad resulting from the sexual experience. Sexual energy is a powerful, very natural force in our lives. But like any natural force we encounter -- be it wind, sun, rain, or our own laughter -- our sexual energy has the potential to be channeled and experienced in either destructive or life-affirming ways. Healthy sex involves the conscious, positive expression of our sexual energy in ways that enhance self-esteem, physical health, and emotional relationship. It is mutually beneficial and harms no one. Unfortunately, we live in a society that constantly bombards us with images of sex that have very little to do with healthy sexuality. In movies, on TV, in books, and in magazines we are exposed to countless examples of impulsive, irresponsible sex. People are treated as sex objects and sex is often portrayed as a form of power and control over another person. It's no wonder that many of us have experienced some tragic consequences of mischanneled sexual energy, such as sexual abuse, compulsive sexual behaviors, sexual exploitation, sexually transmitted diseases, unwanted pregnancy, and/or chronic sexual unhappiness. Most of the sex education available in the world today focuses on reproduction, birth control and disease prevention. While this is important information, it stops short of helping us learn what we need to know to prevent sexual abuse, addiction, and dissatisfaction. In addition, many of us need new information to overcome problems caused by past sexual hurts so that we can go on to experience healthy sexual intimacy with a partner. As a sex educator and therapist, I meet many people who have trouble conceptualizing Healthy Sex. They want to know: "How does healthy sex differ from sexual abuse?", "How does healthy sex differ from sexual addiction?", and "What are the conditions necessary to ensure that the sex I'm having is healthy?" --- Send in a voice message: https://anchor.fm/antonio-myers4/message Support this podcast: https://anchor.fm/antonio-myers4/support