Marriage After God

Marriage After God is a weekly Biblically based marriage and family-focused podcast hosted by Aaron and Jennifer Smith, authors of Thirty-One Prayers For My Husband And Thirty-One Prayers For My Wife and Marriage After God: Chasing Boldly After God's Purpose For Your Life Together. Marriage After God is intended to encourage, inspire and challenge Christian marriages to chase boldly after God together and to cultivate an extraordinary marriage with each other. Stay tuned each week for awesome marriage encouragement. We hope that we can shine a light on why God has brought you and your spouse together and how you can pursue His purpose for your life and family with joy and excitement.

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episode 7: Making Changes Together In Marriage


Change is inevitable. Some love it, some hate it and sometimes it can't be avoided. Today we talk about how we make changes and we also share some change that we are making with Marriage After God

 

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Aaron (00:00):

Hey, we're Aaron Jennifer Smith with Marriage After

 

Jennifer (00:02):

God, helping you cultivate an extraordinary marriage.

 

Aaron (00:04):

And today we're going to talk about making changes together. Welcome to the Marriage After God podcast, where we believe that marriage was meant for more than just happily ever after.

 

Jennifer (00:20):

I'm Jennifer, also known as Unveiled Wife.

 

Aaron (00:22):

And I'm Aaron, also known as Husband Revolution.

 

Jennifer (00:24):

We have been married for over

 

Aaron (00:26):

13 years and so far we have five children under eight.

 

Jennifer (00:28):

We have been doing marriage ministry online for over nine years through blogging, social media, and writing over 10 books

 

Aaron (00:34):

With a desire to inspire couples to keep God at the center of their marriage, encouraging them to walk in faith every day.

 

Jennifer (00:40):

We believe the Christian marriage should be an extraordinary one full of life. Love and power that

 

Aaron (00:45):

Can only be found by chasing after God

 

Jennifer (00:47):

Together.

 

Aaron (00:47):

Thank you for joining us in this journey as we chase boldly after God's will for our life together.

 

Jennifer (00:51):

This is Marriage After God.

 

Speaker 3 (00:59):

Hey

 

Jennifer (01:00):

Everyone. Thanks for joining us on this episode of Marriage After God. We are so happy that you are here. And yeah, we just wanted to welcome you and what else, Aaron, you wanna share?

 

Aaron (01:10):

Yeah, if you haven't already signed up for our, we have a couple free things, but the one that we like to promote the most is the Free Marriage Prayer Challenge. Almost 80,000 couples have gone through this challenge and we wanna invite you to be one of those 80,000 couples. Let's make our way to a hundred thousand couples and it's at marriage prayer challenge.com, marriage prayer challenge.com. It's completely free. Just sign up with your name and email and we'll start sending you an email every 30 every day for 31 days with a prompt, something to pray for your spouse, either your husband or your wife and a reminder. So you'll get that email every day around seven 30 in the morning and it'll remind you to pray for your spouse in a specific area. So we just wanna encourage you to go to marriage prayer challenge.com and sign up for our free challenge.

 

Jennifer (01:56):

We also wanna encourage you that if you've been one of the couples that has already gone through this challenge, way to go that's so incredible. We hope and pray that it has blessed you and your marriage. And we also just wanna give this simple, small challenge to share it with a friend. So if the prayer challenge has impacted your life, reach out to a friend, another married couple this week and just let them know that it's available just to spread the love and encouragement around.

 

Aaron (02:21):

As a bonus challenge. And it might be even easier is share about it on social media, on Facebook, Instagram tag at Marriage after God, so we can see you shared it. Sometimes we'd like to repost people's shares but it would also let your people that you've done this prayer challenge they, it'll let them know where to go. Sign up for it and we'd be really blessed if you did that.

 

Jennifer (02:40):

Alright, so today's episode is about making changes together. So in marriage there's lots of different reasons why we would need to make change and we're kind of keeping it general here. We're not giving specifics cuz every marriage relationship looks different, every family life looks different and sometimes changes can come externally where you're forced to make change happen in your life and then having

 

Aaron (03:05):

To move loss of a job, you name it. There's a lot of things that could be pushing us beyond our control to make a change.

 

Jennifer (03:13):

And then sometimes it's internally, meaning you've been wrestling with something or maybe the Lord's stirring in your heart something that needs to change. And so then it comes

 

Aaron (03:21):

A conviction. Conviction of

 

Jennifer (03:22):

Something, a conviction. So then that would be an internal change where then you guys go to the table and talk about that and what changes would need to happen surrounding that. So again, this is just a general overview of what it looks like to make changes together because we don't know your guys' details, but the Lord does know your details. He knows everything that you guys are going through to the smallest little detail. And I think that we can find a resting place there and a trust there with the Lord that he's leading us and guiding us through our changes. He's walking alongside us, especially if we give him that room to do so. And we're leaning into him during those times. So hopefully this episode encourages you.

 

Aaron (04:05):

Yeah, I know some people I used to be this way love change. They just like new environment, new atmosphere, new season, quick new job, quick to adapt, quick to adapt very. I'm usually prone to that in the first few years of our marriage. In your book the Unbuild Wife, we wrote about being escape artists.

 

Jennifer (04:24):

Well for me it was a distraction from me, some pain that we were experiencing. So for me it was just like, let's just keep our minds go, go,

 

Aaron (04:31):

Go, go. We longed for a lot of change. So different moving to different places, different kinds of careers and jobs and pursuits and just change was something that we longed for over the years. More children being married longer, I think

 

Jennifer (04:44):

The change has changed.

 

Aaron (04:46):

Yeah, I've gotten a lot not necessarily against change, I'm just not so quick to be like, oh let's just run a change.

 

Jennifer (04:52):

We've learned how to navigate it a little bit differently

 

Aaron (04:55):

But there's something powerful about not being so afraid of change because oftentimes we don't make necessary changes in our lives because we're afraid of what it takes to make that change or we're afraid of what it means if we change in that way. I'll just give a simple example. It's a silly one, but remember when I had my beard and it was like a foot long? Yes, I remember that. I grew, it

 

Jennifer (05:18):

Felt like two feet.

 

Aaron (05:18):

I grew it for two years long after we had Elliot. I grew it until he was two years old. And then finally Jennifer was like, I think you should cut it. But within that two years I developed an identity around having this long beard. It was, it's people

 

Jennifer (05:31):

Complimented you wherever you went.

 

Aaron (05:33):

It became a part of me. And I would imagine it was very similar to how girls who have really long hair might feel they're going to have to chop it off. That's a big deal. But I remember just wrestling with the idea of, well what does this mean? Was it look like? And eventually I just had to do it. I you cut it, there's like a video of you just slicing it off.

 

Jennifer (05:51):

Fun day. For

 

Aaron (05:52):

Me that was a fun day, but it really wasn't that big of a deal in the long run. But change sometimes we avoid it when it's necessary. Sometimes we chase it when we should not.

 

Jennifer (06:03):

Sometimes we control so much that we grip whatever it is that we have and we don't let anyone touch it. And then that becomes the source of conflict, especially in marriage. Yeah, I think of control.

 

Aaron (06:14):

And so I guess my first thought for everyone listening, is there some sort of necessary change that needs to be happening in your life and family career? You name it, that you've been avoiding? And I'm not saying just jumping and do it. What I'm trying to encourage is have you even taken it and evaluated it? Which is one of the things we're going to talk about. What changes could must happen that needs to be talked about and not avoided, not put on the back burner, but hey, here's some things that we need to be talking about in our family we've this career move or family choices that we're making or

 

Jennifer (06:55):

Homeschool curriculum

 

Aaron (06:56):

Or there's

 

Jennifer (06:56):

A lot of things or public school versus homeschool. There's lots of different kinds of change that people could be going through right now.

 

Aaron (07:04):

And so I just wanna encourage you to not be afraid of asking the questions to look at it head on and say, what is this, these thing we should be talking about? Should we make this change? That's something for us because if we hold on to certain things, if we just want life as we know it, to not bud all who knows what God's trained to do in us that we might be hindering him from. And it's just because we like to be comfortable. Change is uncomfortable. It goes against, to be honest, the way we were built as humans, it's easier to not change because it's less thinking, it's less to prepare for, it's less you just get into a mode and you move. But sometimes we gotta stop and break that mode and be like, oh we've been just kind of going, what needs to change?

 

(07:50):

Maybe it's in our relationship, this happens a lot in marriages. We can just get so comfortable and we realize we haven't gone on a date in two years and we realize we haven't had a deep conversation in a while. We realize we we're not pursuing each other anymore. We realize that there's a lot of things, but are we pursuing God? We used to. Where's that passion at? So change is necessary in those moments of we need to stop being so I dunno what the word is. Not intentional, just kind of floating and we need to put on the brakes so we can look around like wait, where are we? Yeah

 

Jennifer (08:25):

I was just thinking as you're talking, what about for the couple who is just going through life and changes is happening without being intentional as in they're not talking about it and it's actually frustrating them. This change that has occurred over time, control over, or maybe they do have control over and they're just kind of letting it happen. What does that couple need to do?

 

Aaron (08:45):

Well, I mean things that we've experienced, I know there's people that go through some pretty hard changes that they have no control over. Just life is changing. Illness accidents you could think about. Yeah, you could just imagine

 

Jennifer (08:58):

Why finances. Finances gone like that

 

Aaron (09:01):

Is we could chafe against the change, which doesn't make it any easier, just fight it. Right? Which doesn't mean it's not never wrong to, it's always doesn't mean it's not wrong to fight if have, if the change is happening and you don't want it, there might be merit in trying to avoid that change or working against it.

 

Jennifer (09:20):

But if you're fighting it in the way of your countenance where there's nothing you could do about this and you're just walking around being grumpy or angry or frustrated, that's not helping. That's

 

Aaron (09:31):

Kind of what I'm talking about.

 

(09:32):

So you could surrender and not just let things happen, but okay Lord I have no control over this. How do you want me to be in the midst of this change, in the midst of these things that I have no control over? Because man, this is mostly when change happens is when we're forced to change. It's very rare that someone just chooses to change for the sake of change. Like I said, we're creatures of habit. We'd rather just stay in our vein and just move in that direction. So if you're in the midst of transition and change that you have no control over, just pray and surrender to God in that change and say, Lord, how are you using? What do you want from this? How do you want me to walk in this? How can I walk in your spirit in this situation? What are you trying to teach me? Because to be honest, we might miss something God's doing in the midst of that if we're just chafing and like, oh I don't like, this is so what was me frustrating and mad. We could miss what God's doing.

 

Jennifer (10:32):

Okay, so you brought up the first point that we were going to share on the practical side of how do you respond amidst change and navigate that together. And how do you this as a married couple and you brought up prayer. So what does that look like for those listening right now? What should they be doing as far as prayer with and for each other?

 

Aaron (10:51):

Well, we've talked about this a lot about making goals, dreaming together. If you don't talk about things, if you don't look out into the future, not that everything has to be so perfectly planned, but if you, at least with your spouse sitting down and saying, okay, what does the next 12 months look like? What are some things we could pursue or put on the table? What are some things that might be coming up? If variables change in your life, what might that look like?

 

Jennifer (11:16):

So before you even pray about it, you gotta talk about it. You gotta sit down and have that conversation and get the details. Even if you don't know all the details, you gotta know what you're praying for.

 

Aaron (11:25):

But you could also do the other direction. Maybe you have no idea, we have no idea what our life looks like, but

 

Jennifer (11:31):

We wanna be prepared for the change.

 

Aaron (11:32):

Get on your knees. Yeah. Say Lord, what do you have for us? What do you want? Where do you want to take us Is, are you going to make change in our lives? Is there something else you have for us? Are we focusing on the things that you want us to be focused on and asking the Lord to reveal things to us and open our eyes and help us to hear what he's saying. Help us to see where he's going. Because the Bible says to, it says, if you're going to walk in the spirit, it says to also keep in step with the spirit. It's this idea that the it's spirit's not something that we control. The spirit is a part of God. So we follow. Mm-hmm the spirit of God. We don't lead the spirit of God. So we keep in step. And so Lord, what's your spirit doing in our marriage, in our life, in our neighborhood, in our home?

 

Jennifer (12:16):

And we've done this over the years. And I'll say that one of the biggest comforts that I've received from walking in marriage with you, Aaron, is that anytime changes coming, anytime we have to make a decision about something and we do surrender our hearts and ourselves to prayer together and individually, that is where I receive the most peace and comfort. And even if we don't have the plans laid out in front of us yet, I know I can trust God and I can trust you with what's happening and what change is coming. So man, it's so important to be praying with each other and for each other.

 

Aaron (12:49):

And it also keeps your eyes in your hearts in the right spot. So the next thing that we usually try and walk in, again, we haven't walked into all these things perfectly, but it's things that we've definitely learned are much more fruitful when you pursue these things. Prayer being thoughtful. But the next one is why is counsel? It's easy to think that there's no one else that can help us with the answers. There's no one else that could understand our situation. There's no one else that could speak truth into our life. But that is the opposite of what the Bible teaches called members of one body and just like I'd been given the Holy Spirit and my wife's been given the Holy Spirit, if you're a believer, if you've put your faith in Jesus Christ, you have the Holy Spirit. So how much more safe and valuable is it?

 

(13:37):

If we take our ideas, thoughts, concerns, fears, potential change in late before brothers and sisters that we love and trust, we say, Hey, we're go, here's some thoughts we're having about this move. We're about this job or this idea. Here's some issues that we're dealing with that are hard. What do you think? What should our next step be? Now this doesn't mean that you have to take everything someone says and be like, I'm going to do it verbatim. But what is the verse? It says, Proverbs in Proverbs 24 6. It says, for by wise guidance you can wage your war. And in an abundance of counselors there is victory. So the idea is, I mean the best businessmen in the world do this. They surround themselves with very smart people, so often smarter people than them to give them advice. Hey, this thing's happening. What do I do? Well in this situation? In the past when I've dealt with this, this is how I dealt with it. Or this is what I saw. Or someone who is in something very similar to you dealt this way. And then most importantly, someone that's going to bring you back to the word of God. Hey, here's point you back in kind of attitude that we should have. Here's the kind of perspective you could have. Here's what the word God

 

Jennifer (14:38):

Says about that. Yeah, we've actually experienced this, Aaron, where we do go to our friends and we'll share with them our hearts are what's been rolling around in our minds. And they go, okay, well I don't know what you should do, but I know how you should do it. And they give us these tips and they point us back to God and remind us about all of these things that you're

 

Aaron (14:56):

Saying. Or they'll ask us questions that we didn't even think to ask ourselves. Yeah, why are you doing this? Yeah, what's the end result? Yeah, are you just trying to serve some craving or is actually, is there something very fruitful on the other end

 

Jennifer (15:09):

Of this? And those might seem hard questions, but they're really good for us to be able to answer before moving forward. Another thing that I think of going to Weiss Council would be having a different perspective come through. Because sometimes when we're married, we're one and sometimes we see things the same way. And you get another set of eyes on it and there's a different perspective and it could be really, really good.

 

Aaron (15:32):

And something that you get from Wise Council hopefully is objective. Yeah. Reasoning. Not someone that's going to be just biased and think, tell you what you want to hear. Yeah. That's not the person you want to go to. Sometimes those people are good to go to. But you wanna go to someone that's going to actually give you good advice that's best for you and your family, not just what you want to hear. Here's a good example because when we want something like that, there's a change we want to make, right? Oh, this sounds better. Oh the grass is greener over here. Something that could be fleshly, something that could be a craving, something that could be a fleshly desire of ours. We're really good at coming up with reasons why that is wise

 

Jennifer (16:16):

To justify why we're making that decision

 

Aaron (16:17):

To justify why we're making. So we have this decision we want to make, we already have the end result and therefore what we do is we compile the evidence to

 

Jennifer (16:24):

Prove why even if we are asking hard questions, we're asking all the questions we know will lead us that way versus the objective, which is what you're saying

 

Aaron (16:30):

Rather than, so if you have someone that you trust and they can come and like, oh that sounds awesome, that sounds good, but hey it sounds like you're trying to like this or it sounds like you've already made up your mind, rather than are you truly wanting to know if that's the best thing for you? Because there's these three things that you haven't even thought about. So just my objective counsel to everyone listening, if there's a change that you're pursuing , be careful that you're not just building a case for that change. That is get wise counsel, someone that's going to have objective reasoning with you that'd be like, Hey, let's think about this that you may not be thinking of or you're avoiding thinking about because you already know what you want the answer to be about that change.

 

Jennifer (17:12):

So good. So we need to communicate as we navigate this together. We gotta pray, we gotta reach out and receive Weiss counsel and go to scripture I would say is another one. Even though the word of God, it's not detailed in a way that's going to be super specific and say what

 

Aaron (17:29):

Job you should

 

Jennifer (17:29):

Take, you should take that job that's over on Second Street. No, but there is so much wisdom in scripture and the Lord is faithful. And so he will lead your heart as you go to make those choices.

 

Aaron (17:43):

Well

 

Jennifer (17:44):

In decisions

 

Aaron (17:45):

In first John, we're told to test everything, test every spirit. So when you hear things, we're supposed to test it. But also when we hear stuff from ourselves, it's good to test like, oh, why am I thinking this? Why do I want this? Why do I wanna make this change? And to go to the scriptures when we talk about prayer and asking God say, God, can you reveal some truth to me in your word about what I'm thinking or what this changes that's being in my happening in my life? A good example, there may be something that is forced upon you. Why is this happening to me? This change that's being made that I have no control of? Why is this happening to me? And you could think this isn't what God wants, this is wrong, this is and unjust. This is lots of things which those things may be true. And then you could pray and say, Lord, reveal to me what you're doing here. And let's say you get brought to this. I bring this up. Often you get brought to the story of Joseph, all he was doing was sharing dreams that he had that God gave him. He was just a, an outspoken young brother. And then boom, he gets, he's hated by his brothers thrown into a pit, sold into slavery, slow put in prison. So sold

 

Jennifer (18:51):

Things that are really hard

 

Aaron (18:51):

Things that he had no control over, no choice over. And you can think, man, not that we don't know that Joseph Kale, but you don't hear it in scripture. There's no complaint coming from his mouth. And then you find out at the very end, wow, God did something amazing through this series of circumstances.

 

Jennifer (19:07):

And Joseph recognized that.

 

Aaron (19:08):

And Joseph recognized, he said, what you intended for evil, God intended for good. And so you can look at that and boom, you all automatically have perspective on this hard thing that you have no control over and realize, okay, God's doing something here and I'm going to trust him in this. And so even though that doesn't give you the answer on what to do or how to change it, it gives you an answer on how to respond to it.

 

Jennifer (19:28):

How to respond. Yeah, that's important. That's good. Okay. So with some of these more practical things that we can walk through as a couple, I think it's also really important to discuss when you're at the table or in bed or wherever you're talking about on your date night talk about what will change because you don't wanna miss out on the details when you're stepping into something new or you've got a life transition coming up. It's really important to say what will change? Because we are only granted so much time in a day and physically we're only able to do so much. And oftentimes if change is coming, that means something over here is coming into your life that you're going to be pursuing and something over here is probably going to be let go of. Does that make sense?

 

Aaron (20:12):

Yeah. So

 

Jennifer (20:12):

We've talked about it a little bit on the podcast

 

Aaron (20:14):

Before, but it's having a sober mind about reality because often we can think, Hey let's just this new thing, let's just add it in, boom. And we can do that and we'll do everything else the same. And then you don't even

 

Jennifer (20:24):

Realize, you jump into it and you feel like you're floundering cuz you're like, I wait, I can't juggle all these balls at the same

 

Aaron (20:28):

Time. So here's the example. Take a full glass of water, that's our life. It's full of water and you want to put an ice cube in there, what happens?

 

Jennifer (20:38):

It's going to overflow,

 

Aaron (20:39):

Water pours out. Okay, you put another ice cube in there, water pours out, you put another ice cube in there, water pours out eventually. I mean it stays full, but you're losing something. So you have to thinking soberly about change. Whenever the laws of every action has a reaction true in life, you make this choice here, it's going to affect something over here. I'm showing my right hand on my left hand. And so having a sober thought on that, realizing, hey, here's this really cool thing we want to pursue.

 

Jennifer (21:15):

What is it going to require? What

 

Aaron (21:16):

Does it cost? What does it mean? Yeah. Because you can't just say that that thing's going to exist equally and at the same time as everything else in your

 

Jennifer (21:23):

Life. Now here's the important part. Couples, when you're talking about what will change, be sure that you take time to truly listen to one another because when you're navigating change like this, it can be so easy to feel unheard or misunderstood or you're just not clearly communicating what so , just kidding. It's so important for you guys to really take the time and listen because you may want something to go but your spouse is going, no, I wanna keep that thing and get rid of that other thing. So when you're navigating change, it can be kind of difficult, but allow it to be a process. It's not just a one moment event, it's a process that you're going walking through together. And it's important to listen to one another.

 

Aaron (22:03):

I'll give an example a small example. This isn't a big change, but let's say you wanna read the Bible more. Okay? You're like, man, I want to get into the word of God more. It's a great change to make in your life cuz a lot of people probably don't read the Bible enough. So you're like, I wanna read the Bible more. That takes time. So let's say you wanna be in the Bible for 20 minutes. Where does the 20 minutes come from? Is it in the morning? You

 

Jennifer (22:27):

Either gotta wake up earlier or

 

Aaron (22:29):

Go to bed later. So you can, how

 

Jennifer (22:30):

About time during the day?

 

Aaron (22:31):

Or is it like at nap time when you usually would be on social media or when you would, maybe that would be your time to do read this good book or go to for a walk. When are you going to get that 20 minutes? You have to figure out where it's coming from and that's how it is with everything. The change that you want, the thing that you want to add in or take out is going to be filled up or replaced or take away from something else.

 

(22:59):

So just some things to think about being sober about the thing that you want or the change that's happening. And then going back to the side of things that you have no control over and embracing it. Realizing some things will have to be let go of because of this thing that is now forcing itself upon you. This change that is being made in your life without your choice. And I hope this gives you some freedom. You might have anxiety or angst because you're like, oh I can't get this thing done over here. There there's these things that I'm just letting slide though they might have to, it just, there's the reality of life. Like you said Jennifer, we only have so much time. We only have so much energy. We only have so much ability.

 

Jennifer (23:41):

Well, and then I was going to add that after you guys have communicated clearly, after you've prayed, after you've gotten wise counsel and shared what that change will be and kind of made a plan then I think it's important to make the decision. And I'm really terrible at this, I'm just going to be honest with everyone cuz I get wishy-washy once we make a decision, I go back on and think, oh no, maybe we've made the wrong decision or I can't handle this change or whatever it is. So don't be wishy washy. Don't be like me. No, I do struggle with this, but Aaron, you've been super encouraging in this area for me. But it is important to make the decision together and not allow any root of bitterness to form in your heart against the decision that was made.

 

Aaron (24:30):

Be on a team. Be on a team. Do it together. Yeah,

 

Jennifer (24:32):

Do it together. Yeah. So hopefully that encourages some people out there. Absolutely.

 

Aaron (24:35):

And then also one more thing, we can make changes in our lives. So I wanna give permission, we can make changes in our lives and then change those changes. Totally. We can make a decision and be like, hey, we're going to explore this idea, we're going to go this direction. And then along the way realize like, oh man, this is not at all what we were expecting, what we thought, what we want. But then there could be this shame that comes in of like, oh, now we're going back on our own or now we're going to let people down. But realize as long as we're trying to be wise and we're trying to be upright and do right by people and not just throwing people out, not throwing everything out and being totally selfish, whimsical and selfish. As long as we're like, okay, just like we navigated the make to make the decision, let's navigate again. Mm-hmm. Changing that decision we just made. I just want to let people know that it's okay to change the change. Yeah.

 

Jennifer (25:30):

I also was thinking as you were talking, this isn't in our notes or anything, but just having kids, Aaron, would you say that if you are a family with children, that when change is going to happen that it's important to prepare your kids' hearts for it? Or even when you're thinking about the decision, you actually think about how it's going to impact them and what you guys can do as parents to

 

Aaron (25:49):

Bring them along, bring them along, yeah. Say, Hey guys, we're going to sit down and talk and even if they don't fully understand, at least communicating, here's some things we're going to explore. Here's some things we're going to change. Here's a direction we're going to move as a family, what are your guys' thoughts?

 

Jennifer (26:01):

And as you move into that change, be aware of your kids' hearts. If they're struggling in any way with it ask God and each other how you guys can come in and be a support for them, an encouragement for

 

Aaron (26:15):

Them. Get special attention to the one or two children that need it. Need it the most. Yeah. So another thing I wanna mention is why, who

 

Jennifer (26:24):

Probably started to started with this one?

 

Aaron (26:28):

If you're the one making the choice

 

Jennifer (26:29):

Why we're make, well you're saying why we make changes

 

Aaron (26:33):

Together because there's a myriad of reasons and variables. Anyone who's G thinking about some sort of transition or change, they know what their reasons are. But a good question to ask is, why am I doing this for God or in my walk with God? How is this change going to better us, grow us closer to God, make us more better lights for him present his gospel more. All these questions of how does it move, what God's doing forward?

 

Jennifer (27:06):

How do you make decisions together as a married couple and maintain the peace? Because peace is a big thing. The world sees our peace and they go, oh, they're different. That marriage is different cuz they can navigate hard things or make changes in their livelihood and they still have peace or they still have joy. So how do we maintain

 

Aaron (27:24):

Those things? So just a good question to be asking yourselves is how does this play out in your walk with God and what does it mean? So we're coming to a place in the episode where we're going to talk about a change we're making. That's why we're even talking about change because we've been navigating this in our own life. So why don't you, Jennifer, present the change we're

 

Jennifer (27:44):

Making. So first off, I just wanna just say thank you guys so much for being here in this marriage after God community and sharing this podcast with us. It's been a joy for us to be able to do. And so the change that's coming is we are ending the season today early. We're going to end it early.

 

Aaron (28:07):

Yeah, we are going to do 12 episodes, but we're only doing seven, which

 

Jennifer (28:10):

Is totally fine. And we had to navigate this together and it's what inspired this last topic but it's summertime and we just jumped into having another baby. So she's three months old now and

 

Aaron (28:24):

We have

 

Jennifer (28:25):

Five kids, we've caught five kids, they're super young. And we just thought, you know what, let's take the rest of the summer off and just be super intentional with them and engage as a family. And also we just have a couple things that we felt like the Lord has put on our heart to pursue that it comes down to that thing that we talked about earlier where you only have so much time in a day and so much energy and resources that if you're going to add something else has to go. And so this is really hard for Aaron and I, but we decided that in order to pursue those things that I just mentioned we're going to have to end this season early. So this will be the last episode of marriage after God

 

Aaron (29:07):

For this season. Yeah. What do you want to let them know? The couple project ideas or Good. So we're currently we're going to be working on two children's books Illustrated, read alongs with Kids not really long what are just an illustrated children's book. And then we're also going to be working on a family bible time devotional, which

 

Jennifer (29:32):

I think we mentioned at the beginning of this season. Season or last season, I can't remember.

 

Aaron (29:37):

So just so you all know that what the way we've been trying to walk as a couple marriage as a family Jennifer, you spent a lot of time with the children, homeschooling, raising them. And so we try and it really hard not to overwhelm her schedule with other things other than that. Which is why we go to, if we wanna pursue these other things, then we do have to take a break on something else. And so we're going to take a break on the podcast and we're going to work on those other projects. And when those are done, we're going to evaluate when we will come back. So I hope you guys are excited about that. We are. It's something that we've prayed about and something that we've talked a lot about. And although we love doing this and we're going to miss you all it won't be forever. And so yeah, I hope you will pray for us in this journey of doing these books and these resources that we think will be a blessing to you and your family.

 

Jennifer (30:33):

So the verse that we wanted to share and end this episode with is John 1427. And I think it's just super timely for the current state of everything, everything right now, but also as you guys navigate change in your own lives. And I know it's been a comforting verse for Aaron and I, but it's John 1427. It says, peace I leave with you. My peace I give to you not as the world gives. Do I give to you? Let not your hearts be troubled, neither let them be afraid. And I think that's just a really powerful verse, especially talking about change. Because no matter what, if we're following the Lord and we're seeking after him and abiding in him there is a peace that surpasses all understanding. So even if we don't have all the details, even if we don't know what might be coming we can rest assured that we're in Him,

 

Aaron (31:26):

Which is the most important thing. And our life's goal is to be in Christ, to abide with him to be in His word. So that's where our prayers for you and we hope this encouraged you. I know everyone goes through change sometimes we hate it, sometimes we love it, but we just want to encourage you to pursue it in prayer and conversation with counsel and above all just trusting the Lord. And so as usual and in prayer, Jennifer, would you pray for us?

 

Jennifer (31:57):

Dear Lord, thank you for today. Thank you for the work that we get to do. We pray we would glorify you in all of our work. Please help us to be a team in marriage. Help us to communicate clearly and respectfully, especially during life transitions. Please protect our hearts from the strain and stress that may come from change. And help us to persevere with strength. May your peace and joy be filled in our hearts and may it shine from our faces. In Jesus' name, amen.

 

Aaron (32:23):

We love you all. We thank you and we look forward to the next time we join you on the Marriage After God podcast. If you haven't gone through our old episodes, we wanna encourage you during this season that we're not going to be posting new episodes to listen to our old ones. And we hope you enjoy those. And please share the podcast with a friend who's never heard of us. And cuz there's how many episodes we have a lot of episodes, a lot. And just go through those and enjoy 'em and we'll see you soon. Did you enjoy today's show? If you did, it would mean the world to us if you could leave us a review on iTunes. Also, if you're interested, you can find many more encouraging stories and resources @ marriageaftergod.com and let us help you cultivate an extraordinary

 


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 July 7, 2020  33m