Believe in ME with Rhona Barton

Hello and welcome to Believe in ME with Rhona Barton. 

This podcast is about all things Myalgic Encephalomyelitis (ME) related!

I'm Rhona and I lived with ME for almost 10 years during which time, I was bed-bound and wheelchair-bound, welcome to my Podcast.

Hello and welcome to Believe in ME with Rhona Barton. In this week’s episode, I’m going to be chatting about how things are going so far in 2023!

You can head to www.rhonabarton.co.uk/media for more information about me and my story.

Don’t forget that you can review, share & follow the podcast via Apple Podcasts, Spotify or wherever you’re listening now. 

Ok, let’s jump straight in!

How are you getting on with your plan for 2023? I’ll be honest, mine went off track a few days into the New Year. I uploaded, via my social media scheduler, a post about goals and motivation and I was jumped on by people in the ME community who thought I was “having a go” at them for not “trying” or not being motivated enough. I was accused of spreading toxic positivity and of trying to take advantage of our community. I was told that I didn’t know what I was talking about and that I clearly didn’t know anything about ME or what it was like to live with. 

Now, initially I made the mistake of trying to be rational with the first couple of comments. I considered taking the post down. I thought about editing the post, but I’d pretty much reached the character limit. The notifications for this one Social Media site went crazy! It’s the most interaction I’ve had on a post, and it knocked me for six. What had I done wrong? I began to tailspin, and I read every comment and took them all to heart. 

I had a call later that evening with my Podcast coach and our Mastermind group and they received the brunt of my “I’m so over Social Media” rant! They asked me questions and challenged my responses as any good friend, let alone coach, would do. But I was in the middle of the yuckiness of it all and I really didn’t want to be facing what I was being asked. So instead, I listened to what they were saying, and I took some notes so that I could reflect on things when the time felt right for me. But what surprised me from this situation was that I, at 45 years old, was a recipient of cyber bullying. That’s what it was. And I was shocked. 

People who didn’t know me, didn’t know my story, felt comfortable to call me all sorts online. All because they disagreed with one hashtag on a post. They didn’t come to listen to the podcast. They didn’t venture to my website to find out more, they just turned into angry keyboard warriors. 

I let my social media schedular run the rest of the scheduled posts and I didn’t edit any of them or change their pre-set hashtags. I spent days thinking about and reflecting on what these comments said and trying to weigh up what, if anything, these may have been correct about. I thought about the questions that my Podcast coach and Mastermind group had posed. After all of this, I decided that I needed to take a break from social media. I needed to stop and reset my brain. So I took 4 weeks off and had a holiday. I made a point of not posting anything online and I took the apps off my phone so that if I wanted to lurk on any platforms, I’d have to either download them again or go via the respective website.

It was so refreshing! Not only was I able to enjoy time on holiday with friends and family, but I didn’t miss the constant barrage of filtered online ideals. And I learned a few things too!

Unlike the people who came after me, if I see a post I don’t agree with, I scroll past it. I know that I don’t believe the same things as the original poster and I know that, even though I think they are wrong, they believe what they are saying is correct. And it makes sense to them based on their experiences. I don’t feel the need to attack them. I know that I can just move past it without having to engage as its online. It’s not in my life and I’m not having to live with that individual.

I know that the people who commented on my post are not the people who listen to my podcast. They are not interested in finding out anything about me or my own experiences.

I know that they are probably very angry and frustrated that their health isn’t where they would like it to be and that they are searching for answers wherever they can find them. I know I don’t have the answers they are looking for. 

I also learned that the reason I felt so attacked from the comments, is because I was going through some self-doubt. I was in the midst of many incomplete things in the run up to Christmas and the New Year and felt very unsettled. Without really knowing it, I’d let things get on top of me. The worry about all of these meant that I wasn’t sleeping well and on top of that, I wasn’t eating properly. It all built up and this was the straw that broke the camel’s back. I knew that I had to take a break. I knew I was beginning to feel overwhelmed with the concern about what I would do in the New Year.

So I stopped. I stopped everything that wasn’t just the basics that I needed to make me feel happy and fulfilled. It took a couple of days for things to slow down for me but I began to plan out my days with the “must do” things. This then gave me time back to do some meal planning, shopping and cooking and I began to sleep easier.

I reset myself. My holiday gave me time to think about what I want and how I want to carry on with 2023.

Let’s think about some key take aways from this episode:

1.    Not everybody sees things the same way we do.

2.    We are all fallible.

3.    Sometimes even when we think we have things figured out, we still need to reset ourselves.

4.    You’re not going to be everybody’s cup of tea.

5.    Social Media isn’t always social!

That’s it for today everybody.  I hope you have found this episode helpful and can understand why I have been absent for the past month or so. 

I’d love to hear how your year is going, so feel free to reach out and let me know. You’ll find me on Facebook and Instagram as @RhonaBartonCoaching and on Twitter as @RhonaBCoaching.

Thank you for listening. Don’t forget that you can review, share & follow the podcast via Apple Podcasts, Spotify or wherever you get your podcasts. 

I hope today’s a good day for you. Bye for now. 

Don’t forget that you can review, share & follow the podcast via Apple Podcasts, Spotify or wherever you get your podcasts. 

You can also sign-up for my mailing list by visiting www.rhonabarton.co.uk or join my Facebook group – Believe in ME Community by following the Facebook page (@rhonabartoncoaching).