Dubland

Possibly the most anticipated episode of Dubland so far? Suzanne and PJ have A LOT of catching up to do. There's no point in writing much of a description here, you're going to listen to it anyway, aren't you? So, we do the misery first and then move on to all the deadly stuff. PJ talks openly and completely heroically about his mental illness, his mother's passing, his Late Late Show appearance and everything else that's been going on over the past year and more...

Dubland is back! They talk about the Olympics and the merit of just allowing drug use. The Euros, England's fans and Jack Grealish and Declan Rice. A quick mention of Conor McGregor's ankle and then back to the Euros, Italy took all of their tactics from Dublin football team. Colour therapy and how to be calm and then some Love Island talk where agreement cannot be reached. PJ has a lovely walk up a hill and then is quickly dragged back down to earth...

There's lots to enjoy in this episode of Dubland, you'll laugh, you'll cry, you'll be infuriated and you'll be terrorised. What more do you want? Are we reopening on the 5th of July or what's the story? This delta thing sounds like shampoo anyway, not a new variant, so get on with it one way or the other PJ is sick of the positivity, why are we still going through all the numbers? The smart lads out there are putting plans in motion to sell their sperm when all the other lads have dead flutes...

Dubland begins this week with an accusation. PJ has the sort of tan that looks like it has a hint of Spanish sun in its making. PJ defends himself (and his dogs with the same lotion). Suzanne becomes more Irish when she's not in Ireland. PJ also reveals the results of his extremely interesting DNA test, and for the first time ever, Dubland exclusive, reveals who his real dad is. Suzanne gets a very fancy new kettle and toaster, very fancy now...

This week on Dubland you will learn, in great detail, how to get more pleasure than is strictly legal out of your pet. The Dublanders are all good and vaccinated and PJ has some stuff to say about side effects, and Apple have started to get very invasive with their apps. PJ has dicky feet but finally got a nice looking pair of shoes that also work for his foot shape - it's fascinating stuff. Suzanne has booked flights, so that's it, she's off, or she's not...

Young people are very accommodating to old farts like PJ who don't know what they're up to. He's now been vaccinated along with a load of other random people, and he tries to warn Suzanne about the impossibility of breaking up with your GP. She goes postal on her kids over greed. The Brits don't need tickets to anywhere, they just arrive. Suzanne has a movie moment in Arklow and PJ hates sea swimming but he's going to do it this week with Fiona Lambert for a great cause...

Suzanne is the good 1980s parent in this episode of Dubland as she sends her kids out into nature for a "base" of sunburn. At least she's not lathering them in carrot oil and giving them "tanning pills". PJ browned himself as he cycled out to Howth for a paddle and a beer. Suzanne has been vaccinated and though she's been excited about getting it for months, she now talks about the battle between excitement and nerves over getting it...

This week on Dubland we find out that in PJ's youth, the bank saved the wrong fiver for him. He's also starting to ruin his life with hope in a complete switcharoo with Suzanne. PJ reckons he has ten years of mobility left and Suzanne, who is younger, says he trampolining days are behind her...

PJ is now the oldest man in the world. Like everyone else in their 40s, he has given up on life. Then there's the story of the naked burglar. PJ gets whiskey for his birthday and proves he likes it by saying what he would have said if he didn't like it. He then bangs on about the rules of whiskey. The pair of them are hooked on the ibuprofen, mad for it altogether. The red wine isn't doing it for Suzanne anymore, she's on the injectables now...

There is dog excrement everywhere and Mr. Poo, formerly known as PJ Gallagher is ready to talk about it and he might even make the odd complaint about this new excrement covered world we inhabit. He's also done with burgers and both he and Suzanne are too old for spice bags. They talk about the Netflix documentary Seaspiracy, the Artane Boys' Band and the overwhelming desire for a bomb scare when you were in school...