North Point Community Church

If becoming the right kind of person is key to a great relationship, how do you do that? Is there something you can do to prepare? Does it just happen? Sure, we’re supposed to love others, but what does that really mean? Let’s lean in and read the fine print.

In relationships, we often believe if we find the right person it will make everything right. So we ask ourselves, “Is this the right person for me?” Maybe we need to be asking a different question—a question that shifts our focus from seeking the right kind of person to becoming the right kind of person.

Many of us have viewed faith as something we do alone. We might have said that it’s private. But there’s a limit to our faith growth when we go it alone. There’s a deepening to our faith that we only experience together. When it comes to consistently growing our faith, “we” is greater than “me.” Who’s spurring on your faith and whose faith are you spurring on?

Moving out of the shallows starts with feeding ourselves spiritually. But if we stop at that first step, we’ll be left spiritually fat rather than spiritually fit. How do we prevent that from happening? The next step involves a spiritual workout that’s unique for each of us.

No one strives to be shallow. We all want something real and relationships with depth. But how do we grow deeper spiritually? The journey starts with a step that each of us can only take for ourselves.

When we see someone we care about make bad decisions, we can either confront them about it or hope someone else does. Many times we opt for the latter, under the guise of being kind, not wanting to interfere, or waiting for them to ask for our input. But we should ask ourselves: are we really being kind, or are we letting fear, discomfort, or indifference be the boss of us?

All of us walk through life with occasional fear. And it’s not always a bad thing. Fear is a byproduct of our ability to think about what might happen in the future, and it can protect us from harm. However, living with too much fear can cause us to be self-absorbed, distracted, and overly protective. But the good news is this: You don’t have to be afraid even when there’s something to be afraid of.

When we feel anger, our emotions tell us it’s 100 percent someone else’s fault. But James, the brother of Jesus, has something different to say. When we take a step back and acknowledge what the problem really is, anger will no longer be the boss of us.

Envy causes us to compare and compete with others in an unhealthy way. It brings arrogance when we’re winning and discouragement when we’re not. It robs us of contentment and causes us to feel like—as an ancient king put it—we’re chasing after the wind. But envy doesn’t have to be the boss.

When it comes to guilt, many of us naturally lean in one of two ways: we wallow in it by reliving the past, or we deny it by making excuses. In either instance, guilt is causing us to be out of balance. The apostle Paul reminds us that, because of Jesus, guilt is not the boss of us.