Zero Blog Thirty

Round 1: We’ll do a check-in about our weekends, I’m enforcing staff sergeant rules in my house but in kind of an air forcey way, and some thoughts about Memorial Day weekend in general. Round 2: This weekend I watched one of my favorite movies and came up with a realization…. Col Jessup is the World’s Biggest Truckrant Vet Bro. Round 3: We get to the bottom of a SALACIOUS rumor that is sullying the good name of a hospital in Trinidad and Tobago...

ROUND 1: President Teddy Roosevelt was a Rough Rider even inside the White House where apparently he enjoyed challenging the staff to ::checks notes:: punch him in the face. Would you punch your boss if they asked you??? ROUND 2: Sure, no one wants their spouse to deploy… but would you sabotage things behind the scenes & stop them from going if you could? One woman did just that and then asked, “Am I the asshole?” She might not love the answers...

Round 1: BUCKLE UP, SLUTS! WE GOT A NEW MISSILE ALERT and the Space Force has a new guidon (they don’t rate a flag yet)! Round 2: reddit had the most timeless military letter we've ever seen. We’ll break it down for you shotgun-style and give it a bolt bore check to see if it’s cleared hot. Yuck. That was too much. Round 3: A little Singapore social distancing goofin led to a former Air Force member’s arrest and spending 4 weeks in a Singapore jail. That sounds less than ideal...

ROUND 1: On the Gulf Coast near Fort Meyers there’s a little restaurant that shares the same name as ‘ol Capn Cons. We’ll read the Yelp reviews for both of them and boy we hope you like things roasted. ROUND 2: A former Afghan police chief has pulled a big time Benedict Arnold and switched sides to join the Taliban in what is thought to be one of the highest-level defections to those assholes yet...

Round 1: The Last Dance is the greatest 10 part docuseries of all time behind Band of Brothers so we put Michael Jordan in a foxhole and even slap a rank on him. Round 2: Long drag on a cigarette, back in my day, the recruits at Marine Corps boot camp weren't so pussy that they needed a falcon to protect them from seagulls. Shit’s changed. We’ll tell you about this new breed of mask-wearing soft corps softees...

Round 1: The military might be rushing to judgement. I know that’s shocking but there was a memo released this week that says that people who have tested positive for coronavirus are PERMANENTLY disqualified ROUND 2: I’ve had it with these mothafuckin’ Devildogs on this mothafuckin’ plane! At least that’s how one man felt when 3 yoked infantry gents took him down for acting out in the plane’s bathroom.....

Round 1: There’s a situation that I need to get to the bottom of. I had a fear that ripped through me on Saturday morning, I want to discuss it in the trust tree. Round 2: A veteran, who was acting as a contractor, was captured by terrorists in Afghanistan. Navy SEALs and others tried to do a rescue mission. Why havent we heard shit about this until now? We’ll tell you what we know in round 2...

ROUND 1: A British Royal Navy captain was fired for a barbeque…! Did he overcook the steak? Not season the meats enough? Use propane instead of coal? We’ll find out. ROUND 2: BA-BA-BA-BIRD-BIRD-BIRD, Bird… internet’s the word when it comes to the Navy’s latest experiments. You heard that right, bird. Internet. Hopefully that really uh… takes flight for them. ROUND 3: Crippling depression is no joke, but… maybe it sort of is when it comes to one tank crew in the army...

Round 1: Ding Dong, the bitch is dead….maybe. Rumors are flying around that Kim Jong Un has bit the proverbial rocket launched at you while tied to a pole. Is this good or bad? Well, there’s essentially two schools of thought about that. Round 2: In this round, we are going to play a game called, “How Long Can It Live?” Round 3: West Point is calling back all their seniors, or whatever the fuck they call them, so that they can hear President Trump give a speech at their graduation...

ROUND 1: Maybe he’s born with, (me & Cons:) Maybe it’s MattisMarine. Many folks were a bit surprised this week to see General Mattis modeling a jacket in ads for a clothing company… Do you think they’ll ask us next? (weird silence) ROUND 2: Army base Ansbach has a colorful, winged fairy flitting around making sure soldiers are staying socially distant and we’re sure they are absolutely loving that and it doesn’t kill their souls a little bit in any way...