Betrayal Trauma Recovery - BTR.ORG

Even when we deeply understand the effects of misogyny, whether because we or someone we love have experienced male coercion, manipulation, and violence, it's important to understand how misogynistic thinking may have subtlety infiltrated our thoughts.

Abusers and their enablers benefit from exploiting women - and the root of that exploitation comes from misogynistic attitudes and beliefs. Dr. Jessica Taylor is back on the BTR.ORG podcast. Listen to this episode and read the full transcript below for more.
"I'm Supposed to Do Most of the Work Around Here"
One subtle way that misogyny burrows its subtle way into our lives is by forcing women to take on the emotional, mental, and physical tasks of a household and family.

Abusers may use:

* Weaponized incompetence (acting or exaggerating that they don't "know how" to accomplish a task well in order to exploit you into doing it)
* Male entitlement (because you're a woman, you're supposed to do it)
* Emotional & psychological abuse and/or sexual coercion (threats, intimidation, anger, manipulation, gaslighting - this may include creating a climate where you "walk on eggshells" in order to avoid being abused

Consider This if You're Exhausted & Carrying the Burdens:
"If women listening are thinking, yeah, my husband wants me to be the stopgap in our relationship, I'm the one that needs to apologize. I'm the one that needs to be compliant. I'm the one that needs to set up the things and plan the stuff and make sure everything goes smoothly, but he just gets to call the shots and doesn't have to do the work. That is a sign that the situation that you're in is an emotionally and psychologically abusive one because he's expecting other people to close that gap."

Anne Blythe, Founder of BTR.ORG
Misogynists Only "Look" a Certain Way
"[Abusive men are] learning to disguise [their misogyny]. They're learning to make it sound more socially desirable and acceptable, but those views and those values, they've not gone anywhere. They're learning how to communicate them and, as you say, maintain their power and their control without outing themselves."

Dr. Jessica Taylor, author
When society believes that misogynistic men only look a certain way - that is, that they are obvious and overt with their hatred of women - it's easy for manipulative misogynistic abusers to fly under the radar.

Abusive men often manipulate:

* Clergy
* Family court professionals
* Health care providers
* Media and journalists
* Work colleagues
* Friends and family
* Mental health care specialists

and others into believing that they are "great guys" who would never subscribe to hateful thinking and abusive behaviors.
There's Not One "Abusive Man Look"
Many women find themselves in denial that they themselves could be abused - and even further deny that their husband fits the profile of "abuser". This is simply because societally, we've been so conditioned to see both abusers and victims as fitting a very specific description.

Understanding that misogyny and abuse are choices made by men regardless of:

* Age
* Sex
* Background (trauma, no trauma, etc)
* Economic status
* Education level
* Race
* Whether or not they use substances like drugs and alcohol
* Religious activity level

Can be life-saving.
BTR.ORG Is Here For You
Deconstructing internalized misogyny and accepting that the hatred of women is one of the key reasons that men psychologically abuse and sexually coerce women, can be difficult and lonely. We are here for you - attend a BTR.