Is Perfectionism the new ADHD? How do I stop living in fear of failure? How to get out of my own way? Why am I so hard on myself? Why do I self-sabotage? Will ruminating + catastrophizing ever end? There's a BETTER Way to Perfectionism, that's empowering highly driven, Type-A, ambitious perfectionists to OWN their perfectionism instead of owned by it. Perfectionism Rewired host Courtney Love Gavin (CLG) shows you that way in every episode. Perfectionism Rewired is committed to neuroscience truth and accuracy through a perfectionist affirming lens, offering cutting-edge research on perfectionism, neuroplasticity + interoception techniques for the practical-perfectionist who wants that extra edge over obsolete advice to "overcome your perfectionism" Listen for fierce insights on exiting victim mentality, what self-sabotage *really is*, how to stop: people pleasing without compromising kindness, catastrophizing, ruminating, overthinking and upgrading all-or-nothing mindset, so you can quit fighting against your perfectionistic tendencies and feel as put together as your life looks...
https://perfectionismrewired.com
episode 196: Upgrading Panic + Control to Power + Presence: Nurturing Your Perfectionistic Brain
In this episode CLG lays out the shortest, simplest pathway to the result perfectionists actually want: power, peace and presence with a special focus on parenting and daily life. Discover the root of control versus power, the outdated strategies not designed for perfectionistic brains very widely used in psychotherapy and why they’re ultimately harmful to perfectionists in the long-run.
Imagine steering a tiny dinghy in stormy seas. That's control. Now, picture yourself commanding a majestic yacht, gliding effortlessly over the waves. That's power. That’s this episode.
Tired of waiting for “things to calm down” so you can FEEL better? Whether it's becoming much more DECISIVE in everything you do, the ability to fall asleep without obsessing over your to do list or PRESENCE with your family (no more catastrophizing) When you join Perfectionism Leveraged you get customized 1-1 coaching + the SKILLS you've never been taught that FREE you from panic + controlling everything all the time. Get your stress-free start today at https://courtneylovegavin.com/optimized
In This Episode You’ll Learn:- Parenting Insights: Essential tips for perfectionist parents on presence and power dynamics with children
- Recognizing the REAL reasons underneath your need for control and getting to the root of feeling safe
- Understanding the distinction between living in the present moment and being fixated on being happy the future
- E.P.I.C. Framework: Introducing the Embodied Presence Interoceptive Connection framework for perfectionists ready to live a calm, empowered and deliciously rich life.
00:00-Holiday gift: Upgrading from control to power
01:52-Understanding the impact of controlling perfectionistic tendencies on daily life
03:11-Felt Safety: Why your environment doesn't determine your safety and what does
05:53-Hidden motivations secretly fueling perfectionism anxiety
07:22-The Power Perfectionist: How detaching from outcomes is the POWER MOVE
09:00-Mindfulness Strategies for stepping off the hamster wheel from hell (Control Loops)
10:42-Distinction between needing and wanting to do something
13:14-Perks of living in Present Time + enhancing perfectionist productivity
15:04-Being responsive instead of reactive
16:54-Truth Booth: Extremely Controlling In Relationships
18:37-Holism, person-emotion-action = presence in your window of tolerance
19:54-Exploring embodied presence and interoceptive connection
20:20-Your EPIC Framework: Practical tools for perfectionists to tune in + build permanent resilience
23:03-Recognizing the generational impact of self-regulation on perfectionism
"When you start to pay attention to how safe you feel, you better discern whether your perfectionistic response is an accurate reflection of what's happening around you." -Courtney Love Gavin, Perfectionism Rewired Podcast Ep. 196
HIGHLY CREDIBLE SOURCES REFERENCED IN THIS EPISODE:
- Barrett, L. F., Mesquita, B., & Gendron, M. (2011). Context in Emotion Perception. Current Directions in Psychological Science, 20(5), 286–290. https://doi.org/10.1177/0963721411422522
- Frankl, V. E. (1992). *Man's search for meaning: An introduction to logotherapy* (4th ed.) (I. Lasch, Trans.). Beacon Press.
- Hinton, A., McReynolds, M. R., Martinez, D., Shuler, H., & Termini, C. M. (2020). The power of saying no. EMBO Reports, 21(7). https://doi.org/10.15252/embr.202050918
- Lisa Feldman Barrett, Mesquita, B., Ochsner, K. N., & Gross, J. J. (2007). The Experience of Emotion. Annual Review of Psychology, 58(1), 373–403. https://doi.org/10.1146/annurev.psych.58.110405.085709
- Mahler, K., McLaughlin, E., & Anson, D. (2020). Interoception across varying degrees of mental wellness. American Journal of Occupational Therapy, 74(4.1, Suppl.). https://doi.org/10.5014/ajot.2020.74S1-PO9513
- Mahler, K., (2019). The Interoception Curriculum, Kelly Mahler
- Mary Durand Thomas, & Bigatti, S. M. (2020). Perfectionism, impostor phenomenon, and mental health in medicine: a literature review. International Journal of Medical Education, 11, 201–213. https://doi.org/10.5116/ijme.5f54.c8f8
Perfectionism Rewired Ethics + Transparency:
Perfectionism Rewired podcast is brought to you by Perfectionist Solutions and is committed to neuroscience truth and accuracy through a perfectionism affirming lens.
What does Perfectionist Affirming mean? Perfectionism affirming is an empowered view where perfectionistic tendencies are not seen as deficits to be “fixed” and nobody is a victim of perfectionism. Instead you are fully in charge of YOU, given tools for agency and perfectionism is leveraged to work for you. Part of neurodiversity movement that sees no “correct” way for the brain to work and humans as unique individuals who all experience the world differently.