The Relaxed Male is a podcast dedicated to empowering men to build healthier, more fulfilling relationships in all areas of their lives. Whether it's romantic partnerships, family bonds, friendships, or professional connections, this show provides insights and actionable advice for building and maintaining positive relationships grounded in mutual understanding, respect, and care. Each episode delves into the unique challenges and opportunities men face when it comes to fostering meaningful connections. The host Bryan assists men in understanding how the elements of how one approaches a problem can hinder relationship growth. Through thought-provoking discussions, real-life examples, and practical exercises, listeners gain valuable tools to improve their listening skills, empathy, vulnerability and thoughts needed for building trust and intimacy with those around them. The show also covers the importance of self-awareness, personal growth, and taking responsibility for one's actions and their impact on others. Ultimately, The Relaxed Male aims to empower men to have strong relationships without sacrificing who they are in the process...
https://www.relaxedmale.com
episode 215: The Only Real Disability is a Bad Attitude
I can't because of my Flaws, limitations, confines, distortions, scars, imperfections, or irregularities
So many in society want to help you be OK with your flaw by helping you fight for that flaw.
We turn to being a victim of our flaws instead of bettering ourselves because of it.
Yet there are a few good powerful questions you could ask yourself.
- What does this make possible?
- What can I learn from this limitation?
- ADHD - Seen as you not being able to concentrate
- Introvert
- Dipsomania
- Anxiety
- autism
Your thoughts about the flaw is why it is holding you back. there are plenty of blind people who write books. There are deaf people who record podcasts. Stevie Wonder is blind but plays the piano. Addicts drop their compulsions every day. You don't have to be held back, yet you are why?
Why do you want that flaw to Hold You Back?It serves you by helping you to feel safe. It doesn't help you get to your next level but helps you play the victim. Your mind helps you to play small instead of going big. Why? because it believes you are safer if you stay at home and don't venture out.
You can see it as a flaw or a superpower
Is it holding you back or is it the reason you are going to be great?
Maybe it is the obstacle that you need to overcome to be the best.
Summary
In this episode of The Relaxed Male, we explore the concept of celebrating our flaws and overcoming barriers to achieve our goals. The host introduces the topic and explains the purpose of the show in helping men remove their "nice guy" personas and live life on their own terms. The focus is on assisting men facing challenges such as divorce, job loss, or daily struggles.
Moving into the main discussion, we tackle the perception of flaws and why we tend to view them as reasons for failure. Challenging this perspective, we encourage listeners to see their problems as potential solutions. Gratitude is expressed towards the audience, including new listeners, and positive interaction with a gentleman from Bangladesh who found inspiration from the show is shared.
The importance of celebrating flaws and debunking the notion of embracing limitations is explored, with examples like physical disabilities highlighted to challenge the idea that limitations hold us back. The episode delves further into how limitations can be seen as obstacles that we can overcome.
The inspirational story of Oscar Pistorius, known as Blade Runner, breaking records despite not having legs is used as an example.
Asking the question, "What does this make possible?" when faced with problems or barriers is emphasized as a powerful tool.
The discussion then shifts to reframing certain flaws or conditions, such as ADHD, as superpowers rather than limitations. Societal norms that label ADHD as a limitation are questioned, with the perspective that it can be a valuable asset, especially in areas like entrepreneurship or multitasking. The overall message is to challenge the stories we tell ourselves about our limitations and embrace them as opportunities for growth. The podcast also explores the topic of introversion and how it should not be used as an excuse to avoid socializing. The increasing disconnect in our society is highlighted, with introversion being seen as a mindset that can be changed.
Similarly, alcoholism and anxiety are both discussed as choices and normal responses, respectively, rather than limitations. The importance of facing anxieties and self-doubt head-on is emphasized. The notion of worrying about what others may be saying about us is also challenged, with the idea that negative talk can be seen as a positive influence we have on others. Autism is mentioned as a topic often talked down about, but the episode encourages embracing differences and uniquely viewing the world. It is emphasized that a diagnosis or being part of a specific group is not necessary and that individuals should focus on overcoming obstacles in their way. Success stories of individuals with autism, like Temple Grandin, are highlighted as proof that a so-called "flaw" doesn't have to hold us back.
The speaker reflects on personal struggles with smoking and the decision to quit, sharing physiological issues and the lingering desire for a cigarette at times. It is emphasized that flaws and compulsions are just thoughts and circumstances that can be overcome through mindfulness and finding reasons to hold attention. Dedication and not allowing flaws to hold us back are key themes reiterated by the speaker.
The speaker explores historical obstacles faced by black doctors and how they had to overcome them to prove their abilities. Listeners are urged to take control of their own power and influence in their lives, rather than resorting to destructive actions. The idea that flaws can either be destructive or become strengths, depending on how they are perceived, is reinforced. The speaker encourages listeners to see obstacles as opportunities and decide if they truly want to change in order to achieve their dreams.
The episode concludes with a coaching offer exclusively for podcast listeners, providing an opportunity for one-on-one work with the host to gain confidence and find passion in life.
00:00:00 Introduction to celebrating flaws and barriers
00:03:43 The podcast is gaining momentum and reaching new listeners
00:07:00 Overcoming limitations by asking empowering questions
00:09:52 Boys vs Girls in Learning Styles
00:13:29 Introversion as an Excuse and Overcoming Limitations
00:15:28 Alcoholism as a Coping Mechanism and Perception of Disease
00:17:51 Uncertainty of gossip and assumptions about oneself
00:22:08 Challenging misconceptions and celebrating achievements despite flaws
00:25:38 Understanding and harnessing the strengths of ADHD
00:27:12 Black Doctors and Overcoming Obstacles
00:28:36 Using Flaws as Superpowers and Creating Change
00:30:08 Overcoming Obstacles to Achieve Dreams