Wire Talk with Karen Stubbs

The New Year is upon us and for moms that can mean many things: birthdays, graduations, other milestones, and memories to make. While all of those examples where connected with our children, the New Year is also about growth and development for ourselves as moms. Listen to today’s episode to hear about How Do I Make Next Year Different?

Question 1: Karen, I feel like I need to start from scratch on my spiritual walk and give it a jolt. I have traditionally been a journaler, but since having kids, I have had less and less time to journal, which sadly leaves me doing nothing. What are some other creative ways I can have quiet times and reconnect with God in the midst of my busy life?

Karen’s Answer: Take a baby step in your walk with the Lord. If you don’t have time to journal, then start praying throughout your day, pray while you are cooking, cleaning, driving to work. You can pray while doing anything.  Moments with God for Moms devotional book, keep it in your purse or car, and read everyday

Write out one verse on a sticky note and put it on your bathroom mirror, at least when you are brushing your teeth in the morning and at night you can read it. :)

Question 2: Karen, how do you deal with the feeling of failure when you don’t reach a goal? I wanted to do so many things differently this year, like meal planning for my kids better, joining a small group, more date nights with husband, etc. but it’s the end of the year and I feel like I fell short. Also, what advice do you have to setting achievable goals?

Karen’s Answer: Set reachable goals.  Maybe just one at a time.  Instead of saying you are going to do all those things, start with one achievable goal. I’d start with your husband.  Don’t just say go on more date nights, put a date on the calendar and plan for it.  Start with one a month.

I don’t do new year’s resolutions because they are discouraging for me.  I focus on an area in my life that needs work, and I start taking baby steps in that direction. I will put out my list periodically and see how I’m tracking.  I think realistic goals are the key.

Question 3: My husband wants to have another baby this upcoming year, but I’m not so sure. How do you know when the right time is to have another child? Is there ever a right time?

Karen’s Answer: Keep in mind, you both are on the same page, you both want what God’s will is for your life. So move toward that, and ask God to work on both of your hearts, to where you come to an agreement and you are both happy.

YES! Abby! Greg wanted #4 and I was good with 3.  But, I started praying about it, and God changed my heart and then along came #4.  But, God could have just as easily changed Greg’s heart. Before we started having children, I was ready first, Greg wasn’t. Then I started my career and Greg was ready, but I wasn’t, then we both got on the same page and along came Kelsey.  Ask God to give you direction and peace. He will.

Question 4: Karen, my husband and I decided to roll out some changes (for the better) in our household. This will include more family time, more chores, and a happier mom and dad. How do we start implementing these changes? Should we get it over with at once and just shake things up or implement them slowly? The kids are not going to be happy about the extra chores.

Karen’s Answer: I’m glad you and your husband are on the same page! Let’s stop and celebrate that for one second, because getting on the same page is 1/2 the battle. :) Good job! Keep in mind that anytime you are rolling out new changes it is best to communicate it well beforehand.  Sort of like how Greg and I did the financial changes I talked about in November podcast on money. You need to tell your children what you are doing and why.  As far as timing, everyone is different, but for me, I think I would roll it all out. New year, new plan, let’s get started! Also share with your children the benefits of the new plan.  (Chores won’t all be on mom, therefore mom will be in a better mood, etc.)

Pray before you sit down with the children. Ask God to begin to prepare your children’s hearts.  I think so many times we rush into these life changing situations and never think to ask God to bless our efforts or pray for wisdom or our children’s hearts.

Be positive about your decision, you’ve talked about it, and you and your husband believe it’s the right thing to do. Be confident in that. Even if your children don’t like it, you are doing what is best for your family and you are the boss! Know that. :)

Moms, we know your time is precious. Thank for spending it with us. We hope you feel encouraged, equipped and most importantly—the peace of God. If you want to have weekly encouragement emailed to you, visit birdsonawiremoms.com to sing up for free weekly tips of motherhood.

Thank you moms, have a great day!