Wire Talk with Karen Stubbs

We often talk about bringing peace to the world, but what about bringing peace to your home? Listen to today’s episode as Karen talks about How Do I Create a Peaceful Home for My Family?

Question 1: Now that the holidays are over – the cold indoor weather isn’t as fun anymore when I have energetic kids and no outlets to channel their energy and creativity! What are your tips on keeping them busy while we’re cooped up for a few months?

Karen’s Answer:

Yes, I think all children get bored, but I honestly think too many parents entertain their children most of the time and don’t allow their children to figure it out on their own. Part of life is learning to be content where you are, and that needs to start even as young as a child. I encouraged my children to play in the basement, playroom, their rooms.  Baking is always a fun thing to do with your children, but moms, don’t forget to tell them to help clean up!

Question 2:  My husband and I have different personalities, and therefore different priorities and ways we handle everyday life. While I think this is good for growing each of us as a person, it can make cohabitation difficult, especially when stress is high. We both work full time and have one 2 1/2 year old boy. An area of high stress for me is keeping up the home. While I fully accept that most of the child care duties will fall on me, I think my husband can assist with home duties (eg. laundry, dishes, cooking, cleaning). How can I talk with my husband about needs around the home and get his assistance when he doesn't have the same priorities I do? I've attempted to have these discussions with him previously, but he will dismiss my concerns saying that it is not a big deal and something along the lines of "it can wait" or "that is not important" or "no one will care", but I CARE. Help! :)

Karen’s Answer:

I think you just described more than 1/2 of marriages out there. No one is more opposite than Greg and I.  I think the best way to handle this situation is to talk to your husband and say, I know you don’t care, but I do and this bothers me.  If you cannot get him to listen to you, I would seek a third party to talk it through with you both.

Question 3: Karen, how do you go about creating a family routine? We need to get into a better routine of homework, dinnertime, helping mom clean the kitchen, some free time and then bed. Every night seems to be chaos. Do I create a big fuss and rollout the new routines to the kids or should I just focus on making gradual improvements?

Karen’s Answer:

If it were me, I’d roll it all out. I’d sit everyone down and then tell them your new plan, how you are going to do it, what you expect from each of them, assign roles, and then tell them the benefits of why this new routine is going to be so great. Moms,  Think of it this way, you are the CEO of a company and it’s your job to inspire your workers and get them to follow you.  Big challenge, but you can do it. :)

Question 4: My kids will not clean up after themselves. They aren’t defiant to my face (usually) but I will tell them to have their toys picked up in 20 minutes and when I come back nothing is done. Same for clearing their plates and making their beds. I have tried taking toys away from them but it hasn’t worked. Please help!

Karen’s Answer:

Start collecting money from them. They aren’t motivated to help because there is no need to be motivated.  Give them a reason to get motivated. Most of the time, money worked for my children.  I’d sit the children down, lay out your new plan and tell them what is expected of them, and what will happen if they don’t comply.

Resources mentioned in this episode:

• Love and Respect by Dr Emmerson Eggerich

• Parenting by the Book by John Rosemond

Outro

Moms, we know your time is precious. Thank for spending it with us. We hope you feel encouraged, equipped and most importantly—the peace of God. If you want to have weekly encouragement emailed to you, visit birdsonawiremoms.com to sing up for free weekly tips of motherhood.

And remember, if you have a question about motherhood I want to hear it, so make sure you visit birdsonawiremoms.com/askkaren and tune in each week to see if we cover your question. You can also find on us on Facebook, Facebook.com/BOAWmoms to like our page and ask us a question there too.

Thank you moms, have a great day!