Worst Millennials

I’m very proud to present a special Valentine’s Day episode of Worst Millennials!  John (The Owner of Podbros and host of about 87 shows) was able to join me for this episode and we were able to shoot the sh*t for about 40 minutes.  We covered a wide variety of topics.  MMA, of course.  I do love me some cage wrasslin’, especially when the fighters start GoFundMe accounts to pay for the other fighter’s medical expenses.  Top tier trolling.

We also talked about going out to eat on a first date.  It’s always pretty awkward.  The girl doesn’t want to eat much in front of you.  You don’t want to feel like a fat ass.  Can’t we just drop the charade and pig out in front of each other?!  Another fun thing that we chatted about was the Sadie Hawkins dance in high school.  I went 0 for 4 in high school.  Guess no one liked me that much. Sad face.  John shot 50% from the field, however.  Lucky bastard.  I’m jealous.  We’re also not sure if I had trouble getting dates in high school because I have an incredible tan.

Valentine’s Day is a weird day. It’s a made-up Hallmark holiday, but it’s a big deal in relationships. Is it for the girl?  Is it for the guy?  I’m not exactly sure, but I do know one thing.  My ass is drinking some Franzia and firing up a Romi Rain video (or three).

She gives motivational speeches, obviously.

Our conversation gets a little dark towards the end.  There’s a story about me having to purchase Plan B for Not My Girlfriend.  We talk about the cost of living (and dying).  4,500 dollars just for your wife to poop out a kid?!  Over a 1,000 dollars just to put your cold, dead corpse in a wooden box.  Hopefully, neither one of us needs to be taken off life support so we can claim our kids on our taxes (ayyyyy).  Anyway, enjoy episode 68 of Worst Millennials while I pray that John didn’t jinx me about having to pay the IRS tax money.

–Damon