Betrayal Trauma Recovery - BTR.ORG

A pain in your chest.
A sinking in your stomach.
A feeling that something isn't quite right, but little evidence to back it up.
Sometimes, you just know.
Betrayal Trauma Recovery Believes in The Power of a Woman's Instinct
Tragically, when women feel that their partner's are not being faithful, they are often correct that something is not right in the relationship. Whether the infidelity is virtual, physical, or emotional, women experience the deep and painful effects of betrayal trauma when relational abuse is committed by a partner.
Dr. Piper Grant, founder of Numi Psychology, shares her expertise on women's intuition on the free BTR podcast and in the full transcript below.

Studies have shown that when this happens and something doesn't fit, there's actually a surge of dopamine in the brain. You know when we say, 'In my body it just didn't feel right?' That's actually true. There's not only a psychological process happening but there's actually a physiological process as well.  Your brain and your body are saying, 'Something is different here'.  Let's be aware of this. Whether it's good or bad, let's be aware of this. A few years back in my work I would be like, 'There's this unique gift that women have.' and then I would kind of say, 'Well men have it too.'  But women have it so much stronger.
Dr. Piper Grant, founder of Numi Psychology


Intuition is a Gift: Trust It

The thing that is interesting about our gut instinct and the way it works is that it works as an unconscious process. It's something that we aren't even always aware is going on. What happens is our conscious brain is looking at things and we're making sense of them but our unconscious brain is working almost like a jigsaw puzzle. It's putting pieces together. When pieces don't fit together it's like, 'Something is wrong.  Something is different here.'  It sends a warning signal.
Dr. Piper Grant, founder of Numi Psychology

When women feel in their bodies and minds that their partner may be unfaithful, it is important that they honor those feelings.
When Victims of Betrayal Trauma Ignore Red Flags: Practice Self-Love
When women discover that their partner has indeed been unfaithful, they may experience deep and painful feelings of self-loathing and self-betrayal.

It really starts with love and kindness with self. Because I do think about this break down with gut instinct as a betrayal. Or as a breakdown with trust itself. It just starts first with loving kindness towards self. Sometimes as women we want to be hard on ourselves. We are like, 'Why didn't I see that? " Or, 'Why didn't I know?"', Or ' Why did I ignore that red flag?" Or whatever the list is that can be read to ourselves.
Dr. Piper Grant,  founder of Numi Psychology

In this instance, BTR affirms that women deserve love, patience, and understanding both from others and themselves. Below are some of the ways that women can love themselves through painful feelings of self-betrayal.
Ways to Practice Self-Love:

* Join a support group
* Schedule a session with a BTR coach
* Work toward healthy sleep and nutrition
* Share your feelings and story with a safe person
* Repeat the mantra, "I am more than worth it" as often as self-loathing thoughts come to mind

Betrayal Trauma Recovery Supports Victims of Betrayal and Emotional Abuse
At BTR, we understand the agony of betrayal and abuse. The