Betrayal Trauma Recovery - BTR.ORG

A lot of people see the disability from the outside, but they don't see anything that is going on in the inside, like what types of things are going on with their spouse. Women may be free and open to talk about their children's needs and the disabilities, but they are quiet about the private suffering due to abuse in their home.
Anne Blythe, founder of Betrayal Trauma Recovery

Victims of betrayal and emotional abuse deal may feel overwhelmed by the trauma. Some of these victims are also mothers of special needs children. These courageous women deserve support, love, and validation. Anne interviews June, a victim of abuse and mother of four special needs children. June offers experiences and advice for abused mothers of special needs children. Listen to the BTR podcast for more.
Children Are Always Impacted By Domestic Abuse

All of my children have been affected by trauma from seeing abuse in the home, in regards to how my husband treated me in front of them. He was extremely verbally and emotionally abusive and eventually physically abusive to me in front of them. Regardless of whether or not a child has special needs, the treatment for children who have been impacted by trauma and children that have special needs overlaps greatly.
June, member of the Betrayal Trauma Recovery community

Regardless of whether or not your partner has directly abused your children, children are always impacted by abuse in a home. 
Betrayal and Emotional Abuse Drain Mothers Of Energy and Time
All mothers, but especially mothers of special needs children, need to have energy and strength to nurture children.
When a woman is being abused, her attention and time may be directed to her partner and trying to save the relationship. For June, this wasn't acceptable and she decided to focus on her children's safety:

I tried very hard to save my marriage. I delved into learning all I could about porn use, unhealthy relationships, overcoming affairs and infidelity, and abuse. It became clear to me that the situation I was in was taking away from my ability to be the best parent I could for my children. So much of the time, I was in trauma repeatedly from daily verbal abuse, emotional manipulation, sexual coercion, and spiritual abuse and it impacted by ability to really be present for my children and advocate for them.
June, member of the Betrayal Trauma Recovery community

Abuse Must Not Be Normalized Or Modeled For Children With Special Needs
Being in an abusive relationship can hinder a woman's ability to be the best parent she can be because she is in a constant state of trauma. Implementing boundaries and learning about abuse and toxic relationships can help empower women in these difficult situations. June shares the point of intersection that became undeniable for her to realize her situation was not sustainable,

My son did not speak until he was age 5. The turning point for me was when he started talking, I realized he could start mimicking the verbal abuse he was hearing in the home and repeating the horrific words I was being called by my husband. I knew it was a impacting my children and would continue to impact them. I did not want this abuse to be normalized for my children any longer.
June, member of the Betrayal Trauma Recovery community

How Trauma Impacts Children With Special Needs
Any child that is going through the divorce of their parents is experiencing a trauma, even in the best of circumstances. Trauma can cause challenging behaviors to increase in children, particularly in children that have special needs.