btr.org - btr.org has daily, online Group and Individual Sessions for victims of emotional & psychological abuse and sexual coercion. For women experiencing pain, chaos, and isolation due to their husband’s lying, gaslighting, manipulation, porn use, cheating, infidelity, emotional abuse, and narcissistic abuse. Labeling a victim as "codependent" is a form of victim blaming. Pornography addiction / sex addiction are a domestic abuse issue. Narcissistic abuse is not a communication issue. We help women who are married, separated, or divorced heal through establishing emotional safety. If you suspect your husband is a narcissist, a pornography addict, or emotionally abusive, this podcast is for you. Every woman on our team has experienced betrayal trauma first hand. To learn more about Betrayal Trauma Recovery, visit BTR.ORG
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episode 76: Betrayal Trauma Checklist
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=TNAcnUB_ShE
After the discovery of betrayal, life may feel overwhelming and the simplest tasks may feel daunting. What are your next steps? How will you make sure you are getting the safety and support that you need?
Anne, founder of Betrayal Trauma Recovery, has created a checklist for victims of betrayal. Read the full transcript below and listen to the free BTR podcast for more.
What Do I Do Now? Post-Discovery Checklist
Here at Betrayal Trauma Recovery, we have created a checklist to help you in this situation:
* Open up to a safe person.
* Make a daily self-care plan.
* Schedule an appointment with your OB or midwife to get tested for STDs even if your husband tells you he’s only used pornography. If you’re still having sex with a known pornography user, it’s good to get an STD workup once a year.
* Establish a safe network.
* Don’t try to identify the cause of his abusive behaviors.
* Know that couple's therapy is NOT the right place to start.
* Learn about boundaries.
* Use your boundaries to create an emotionally safe home.
* Be kind to yourself.
Betrayal Trauma Recovery Supports Victims of Betrayal
At BTR, we know how devastating this time period can be. Hang in there and know that you are not alone.
The Betrayal Trauma Recovery Group meets daily in every time zone and offers a validating, supportive community to help you get through the agony as they begin your journey to healing. Join today.
Full Transcript:
Welcome to Betrayal Trauma Recovery this is Anne.
Many of you are familiar with our safety checklist but I wanted to go over it today for people who are not familiar with it.
The first step is: Open up to a safe person. I want to go over this checklist today for those of you who aren’t familiar so that you know what you’re looking for when you start to embark on establishing safety in your life.
So, the first step is: Open up to a safe person, and the checklist has examples of unsafe statements. So, if you go to someone and say: Hey, this is the situation I have, can you help me? And they respond with one of these unsafe statements, then you can know this is someone who doesn’t understand it and move on. So, go to the checklist on our website to find out what those unsafe statements are.
Our Checklist Can Help You Clear The Fog Of Betrayal
The second step is: Make a daily self-care plan, and I’ve been thinking about this a lot because it took me 3 years to actually create a daily self-care plan and I’m still not very good at it, so doing it in the thick of things is really hard because I’ve been no contact, with no injury in terms of an active abuse episode, for about 3 years. He’s still abusive in that he lies, but in terms of him yelling in my face that has happened for a long time, so I’m still working on that, but I want everyone to start thinking about self-care from the very beginning.
The third step is: Schedule an appointment with your OB or midwife to get tested for STD’s even if your husband tells you he’s only used pornography. This is really important because then you can get actual objective information to help you make your decisions.