Betrayal Trauma Recovery - BTR.ORG

Society conditions victims of abuse and betrayal to believe that feeling the emotion of anger is wrong. No one enjoys feeling anger. In fact, many victims feel weighed down by their anger. Or scared of it. But can legitimate anger be helpful? 
Anger is a useful tool. This emotion helps women know that someone has crossed their boundaries. Anne, founder of Betrayal Trauma Recovery, takes a deep dive into anger and why it is healthy and appropriate for victims of abuse and betrayal. For more, read the full transcript and below and tune in to the free BTR podcast.
Legitimate Anger Tells You: You've Been Harmed
When women take a moment to evaluate why they are feeling angry, they are able to determine that someone is harming them.
Rather than saying, "I shouldn't be so angry," victims can say, "I feel angry because my partner has betrayed and abused me. My anger is helping me stay in reality."
The truth is, anger helps victims remember that they are human beings, worthy of love and respect.
Legitimate Anger Can Be Expressed In Healthy Ways
When you experience anger from betrayal and abuse, be sure to listen to yourself and validate your emotions.
When you are ready, here are some healthy ways to process that anger:

* Go for a run
* Scream into a pillow
* Throw raw eggs at a tree (surprisingly cathartic and the little creatures get a feast)
* Knead bread dough
* Push a pen so deeply into paper that it rips the paper

Legitimate Anger Can Help You Find Safety
Victims can use anger as a catalyst to help identify safety issues. 
Boundaries are not requests, statements, or ultimatums. Rather, they are courageous actions that women take to protect themselves from abusive behavior.
Betrayal Trauma Recovery Supports Victims of Betrayal and Abuse
The myriad of deep, gut-wrenching emotions that victims experience can feel overwhelming. Women deserve a safe place to process trauma, share their stories, and express hard feelings.
The Betrayal Trauma Recovery Group, meets daily in every time zone and offers victims a community of loving, understanding women to support you on your journey to healing. Join today. 
Full Transcription:
Anne: Welcome to Betrayal Trauma Recovery. This is Anne.
So, many of you know that I am a member of the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-Day Saints and we study from both the Bible and The Book of Mormon. There are a bunch of war chapters in The Book of Mormon and I’m going to read some concepts from this today that have really helped me understand righteous anger and what that look like.
So, as you know the bible is the account of Jesus in Jerusalem and his dealings there. The Book of Mormon is an ancient account from about 600BC to 400AD of the people in ancient Central America. They also prophesied of Christ. So, if you’re not Christian I hope that you can glean some benefit from these scriptures. The point of this is not to proselytize it by any means. I respect all of your different views. It is to talk about a concept of anger within at least Christianity or within the general context of society of what righteous anger looks like or what healthy anger looks like.
Why Do We Misunderstand Legitimate Anger?
These scriptures I’m going to be reading to you are from Alma. Alma is a book in The Book of Mormon. Alma is a prophet, and during this time you have a very righteous captain of an army and his name is Moroni. He is saying to the unrighteous people: Hey. You either repent and stop being unrighteous and stop harming us or I’m going to kill you.
Those are the two options that Moroni gives.