btr.org - btr.org has daily, online Group and Individual Sessions for victims of emotional & psychological abuse and sexual coercion. For women experiencing pain, chaos, and isolation due to their husband’s lying, gaslighting, manipulation, porn use, cheating, infidelity, emotional abuse, and narcissistic abuse. Labeling a victim as "codependent" is a form of victim blaming. Pornography addiction / sex addiction are a domestic abuse issue. Narcissistic abuse is not a communication issue. We help women who are married, separated, or divorced heal through establishing emotional safety. If you suspect your husband is a narcissist, a pornography addict, or emotionally abusive, this podcast is for you. Every woman on our team has experienced betrayal trauma first hand. To learn more about Betrayal Trauma Recovery, visit BTR.ORG
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episode 39: Personal Empowerment & Healing
She said, “Well, I’m in that powerless, helpless place.” I said, “Do you want to stay there?” She’s like, “No. The path up is responsibility. I need to take responsibility for my life. I have a voice and I can consider my needs. I can make choices.”Dr. Sheri Keffer
Abuse conditions victims to feel powerless, helpless, and weak. However, as women courageously seek support, share their stories, and set and maintain effective boundaries, they can become empowered to recover from abuse.
Dr. Sheri Keffer joins Anne on the free BTR podcast. Dr. Keffer offers suggestions of how women can begin finding personal empowerment through identifying abuse. Listen to the podcast or read the full transcript below for more.
Identify Emotional Abuse and Infidelity With "DARVO"
One incredibly helpful acronym for helping women identify abuse, is DARVO:
D stands for “deny the behavior.” A stands for “attack the individual who’s doing the confronting.” R, “reverse the victim and the offender role.” They, basically, make us sound like we’re the one doing the wrong thing, and they’re, all of a sudden, the victim. That is another form of abuse. It’s called DARVO. I’ll educate a wife and say, “Sometimes, when somebody is covering up their sexual acting out, as a way of covering that up, they’ll basically deny they’re doing it, get mad at you, attack you, and you’re the one that’s confronting, and then they, basically, put themselves in the victim role and, all of a sudden, make you wrong and bad.”Dr. Sheri Keffer
When women are able to successfully deconstruct an abusive interaction using DARVO, they are empowered to set boundaries that will protect them from further abuse.
Use Effective Boundaries To Find Empowerment And Safety
What are boundaries? Boundaries are not statements, requests, or ultimatums. They are courageous actions that women take to separate themselves from abuse.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=gJhB7cJaHgw
Remember That Your Safety Comes First
There’s always a choice out. It may mean you need to leave your home. You may need to call the police. You may need to face your fear, because a lot of people go, “But I’m scared. I don’t know how to do this,” but scared doesn’t always mean stop. Sometimes, scared means, “I need to press through this fear until I get to safety.” We champion ourselves and those we love.Dr. Sheri Keffer
While it can be overwhelming and terrifying to separate yourself from abusive behavior, it is necessary. Women deserve safety - in every aspect of their lives.
Finding the strength to act for your own safety is key to finding the empowerment that will guide you through the healing process.
Betrayal Trauma Recovery Supports Victims of Emotional Abuse and Betrayal
At BTR, we understand how abuse can deflate you until you can't even imagine feeling empowered. Know this: you are strong. You are powerful. You are worthy are love and respect.
The Betrayal Trauma Recovery Group meets daily in every time zone and offers women community, validation, and support as they navigate their journeys to healing. Join today.
Full Transcript: