btr.org - btr.org has daily, online Group and Individual Sessions for victims of emotional & psychological abuse and sexual coercion. For women experiencing pain, chaos, and isolation due to their husband’s lying, gaslighting, manipulation, porn use, cheating, infidelity, emotional abuse, and narcissistic abuse. Labeling a victim as "codependent" is a form of victim blaming. Pornography addiction / sex addiction are a domestic abuse issue. Narcissistic abuse is not a communication issue. We help women who are married, separated, or divorced heal through establishing emotional safety. If you suspect your husband is a narcissist, a pornography addict, or emotionally abusive, this podcast is for you. Every woman on our team has experienced betrayal trauma first hand. To learn more about Betrayal Trauma Recovery, visit BTR.ORG
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episode 156: Immeasurable Pain: When Husbands Sexually Abuse Their Wives
When men sexually abuse their wives, they are rarely held accountable by therapists, clergy, and family - let alone the law.
Sexual abuse is a serious crime and victims suffer devastating trauma as a result of their abuser's choices. But women can heal and find peace again with support, safety, and self-care.
Sandy, an incredibly courageous member of the Betrayal Trauma Recovery community shares her story of intense and traumatizing sexual betrayal and rape, and how she came to identify it as abuse. Read the full transcript below and tune in to the free BTR podcast for more.
How Do Men Sexually Abuse Their Wives?
Marital sexual abuse follows a wide spectrum and includes both covert and overt abusive behaviors, including physical battering. Men sexually abuse their wives by:
* Coercing/forcing/manipulating partners into sexual behaviors that they are not comfortable with or have previously said no to
* Voyeurism of any kind, on any level
* Coercing/forcing/manipulating partners into viewing pornographic material
* Physically harming a partner's sexual body parts
* Sharing/posting photos (explicit or otherwise) of partners on any platform
* Physically forcing partners into sexual contact
* Coercing/manipulating/threatening partners into sexual contact
* Commencing sexual contact without consent
* Commencing sexual contact without disclosing their entire sexual history to partner
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=OFjlWfhjS20
When Men Sexually Abuse Their Wives: The Consequences Women Face
As Sandy explains,
I don’t even know how to describe [the pain of marital sexual abuse]. It was like horror. [It] can knock the wind out of you and just make your spirit and soul just torn apart.Sandy, member of the Betrayal Trauma Recovery community
Women who are sexually abused by their partners experience a wide range of physical, emotional, mental, and spiritual trauma, including:
* Pelvic and sexual pain
* Nightmares/sleep disturbance/sleep disorders
* Panic attacks
* Depression
* Faith crisis regarding religious beliefs
* Undernourishment
* Paranoia, social anxiety
* Self-loathing
* Fear of men
* Loss of sense of self (dissociation)
* Feelings of inadequacy/unworthiness
Can Victims of Marital Sexual Abuse Heal?
When men sexually abuse their wives, they are setting them up for an uphill battle that will likely take a significant amount of time. Women can heal, but it takes support, self-care, and most importantly, safety.
To begin healing from marital sexual abuse, women can:
* Become educated about abuse and trauma
* Participate in the Betrayal Trauma Recovery Group
* Seek one-on-one coaching to process and begin healing from the abuse
* Establish daily self-care routines
* Courageously set boundaries that separate themselves from abusive behavior
* Press charges against their abuser by reporting the abuse
I want women to know that that sense of, I can’t report this or I shouldn’t report this for some reason, is usually the abuse talking.