Let's Talk Wellness Now

After being abused as a child Maxx used music to heal her trauma and shares what she did to heal this betrayal and forgive the abuser.

Do not miss these highlights:

[3:06] Surviving abuse by her father and his family

[5:01] Music was her place of solace and became the source for her therapy to find relief

[9:26] Realizing the positive impact her music had on people

[14:34] Finding acceptance in self-love rather than seeking it in others

[22:44] The path to forgiveness of her father

[29:38] Advice for other who may be suffering from trauma

About Our Guest:

Maxx Nies

MUSIC SAVED MY LIFE…

In 2018, I picked up a pen and began writing songs to heal from the sexual, emotional, and verbal abuse I suffered. My first single “No Good At Love”, from my album titled “Daddy’s Issues”, is about how I never felt clean enough to love myself or others. I took many showers a day trying to wash off the feeling of being dirty brought on by guilt and shame. Through writing this title track, I was able to heal quickly. As I began to write more and more songs, I was able to navigate through the pain, hurt, and disorders.

With a heart full of gratitude, I am 20 years old I am finally medication free. I am a singer, songwriter, survivor, and thriver with a heart to help others heal through my music

Social Media & Website:
https://www.itsmaxxmusic.com/
https://www.instagram.com/maxx.nies/
https://www.facebook.com/Maxx.nies
https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCtlLQORI0f5OMmI7VTUWmCQ?view_as=subscriber

Transcription for Episode #92: Music Saved Maxx’s Life

Dr. Debra Muth  0:00  

Welcome to Let’s Talk Wellness Now. I’m your host, Dr. Deb. This is where we talk about everything wellness, and learn to defy aging, and live our lives on our own terms. I can’t wait for you guys to hear this interview with Maxx Nies. What an inspiring young woman, just an amazing person doing some awesome things in the world. Here she is going to share with her with us her life story. And her single “No Good At Love”. She is truly a blessing to all of us where she’s going to talk to us about how music saved her life. And how in 2018 she just picked up a pen began writing songs about things she was suffering about. And her first single “No Good At Love”. Felt clean enough to love herself and others. So I don’t want to get make you wait any longer to hear this interview with Maxx Nies. 

Hey, everybody, it’s Dr. Deb from Let’s Talk Wellness Now. And I am just so honored to have with me today, my guest Maxx Nies. She is an incredible woman, a great musician. And she has such a wonderful, inspiring story to share with us today that I think you guys are going to get so much value out of. And I can’t wait for this conversation to start. So welcome to the show, Maxx. How are you today? 

Maxx Nies  2:39  

Hi, thank you so much for having me. I’m doing good. How are you?

Dr. Debra Muth  2:43  

I’m doing great. Thanks. So you have a very interesting story somewhat diverse. Tell us a little bit about your story. And, and how it differs from other people’s stories like you have an amazing story about music and trauma and tell us how that got started for you.

Maxx Nies  3:06  

Yes. So when I was little, I was in an abusive situation with my father and his family and just at his house, it was just not good what was going on there. And around the age of nine years old, I started speaking about it. And I didn’t even really realize what I was doing when I started talking about it. I was just my physical body and emotional, my emotions and my body was just like, they were going crazy at the age of nine. And I went into like, a really bad depression and anxiety started taking over my life. And I didn’t even really understand why because no one wasn’t able to really see that I was in an abusive situation because it’s all I really knew. So I started talking about it. People, including my therapist at the time, was saying like, well, this is not okay, we have to get you out of this situation. And eventually she did remove me from that situation. She informed my mom on what was going on. I was taken out of that situation. So after that it was just like dealing with the result of realizing what had happened to me. And the abusive situation I was in and all like all of these coping mechanisms came in and they were all unhealthy. I had eating issues, I had awful anxiety and depression. I had suicidal thoughts. I was just like, going down a very dark hole very fast. And, I actually before music was even like a thing for me, I mean, Music has always been part of my life. Like when I was really, really little, I was singing around the house and performing around the house as much as I possibly could. And, but I felt I fell in love with horses when I was like, six or seven years old. And that was really like what my safety net was, when I came out of that abusive situation. It was really like the only place where I could find my happiness and peace and like, I was able to be present and content for a minute when I was with them. But then eventually that got tiring, and I just kind of grew out of the horses and I was like, I kind of feel like I need to go back to music. Like it’s it was just kind of calling me in a way and my mom was like, you’re never consistent with your lessons. Like, I’m not signing you up again. Like, if you’re gonna really be into music, I’m not doing horseback riding thing, like, you have to pick one or the other. And I was like, Okay, I’m gonna go for it and try this out. And she was like, okay, and I really did like, I guess it was just the right time for me to get back into music. But I started my singing lessons. Again, I started dancing, I, I started working with my producer. And it was just like, addicting after working with him. Like I was just making song after song after song. And the studio became my safe and happy place. And then I was able to do it on my own and start writing on my own and bringing stuff into the studio that I created from just being alone. And through that I discovered that writing and singing about my traumas, and my feelings, whether it’s good or bad is such a good therapy and such a crazy relief, especially for when I was going through all of that. And yeah, so not all of my songs are about my trauma, but a lot of them are. And yeah, it’s just kind of unfolded this story that I went through.

Dr. Debra Muth  7:12  

That’s such an amazing story. And yet, we’ve had other guests on that have talked about how therapeutic music is, and how it can make us feel happier, make us feel sad, or retrigger, a memory that was lost in our subconscious. And we may not be able to make the connection of how that fits. But music has been around for centuries. And it is so therapeutic. And sometimes we don’t think about all of what listening to somebody’s story in, in a musical song actually can do for us.

So out of your trauma, what’s one of the biggest takeaways that you’ve, you’ve gotten out of it? Because you’ve turned a negative situation into somewhat of a positive situation, and you’ve made it work for you. How do you do stuff like that?

Maxx Nies  8:06  

Yeah, that’s pretty much like what I feel like I have gotten out of like, learning how powerful I am and how capable I am because I could let this trauma ruin my life. I could surrender to it and I could be a miserable victim for the rest of my life. But I don’t. And I was living that way for a long time. And it got tiring and, and it got lonely. And I, I’ve just learned that I’m so much more than that. I’m so much more than crying about being hurt. And I didn’t want to be in that negativity anymore. So I yeah, like writing, writing the music and making like, I love music so much and making connecting my trauma and my music really was like an eye opener for me like, wow, I can make this very dark situation. So light, and so make me feel so good. And this was what was making me feel so bad. It was just like such a crazy, like, mind blown moment of like, Wow, I can’t believe I just did that.

Dr. Debra Muth  9:20  

Did you ever think your music was going to have the impact that it does on other people?

Maxx Nies  9:28  

 I definitely hoped for it. But then once I started getting like, the DMs and calls and texts and stuff, even from people that I don’t even personally know. That’s when it was like, oh, wow, this is this is really really cool. Like, I definitely thought about it, but I didn’t know I didn’t think it was actually going to be that powerful and make that much impact.

Dr. Debra Muth  9:52  

I think so many times when we’re traumatized and we hold that trauma in we don’t realize there are so many other people that are in the same situation as we are, we don’t, we don’t think other people are being traumatized the way we were or worse than we were. And so you feel so alone. And I would imagine, once you started getting your music out, and people started reaching out to you, you didn’t feel quite so alone anymore about like, you’re the only person this happened to. And now you have a community of people that have had shared similar traumas as yours.

Maxx Nies  10:31  

And that’s so important. Like, I remember the first person I met, that said, Yeah, I went through that, too. And the feeling that I was in such a low broken place, and that’s why I ended up meeting her because my, I think it was either my mom or my uncle was like, you have to talk to this woman, she went through very similar things that you did. And I think it would be helpful. And at first, I was kind of resistant to it. And I was like, I don’t want to hear about her experience, like, so depressing. It’s so sad, like, I don’t want to talk about it. And when I finally did, it was like, Oh, my God, my life makes sense. Like, I’m not this crazy person like that, when, when this happens to people, they react a certain way, you know, like, it’s not that I’m crazy, or that I have lost my mind, or all the things that my dad told me. It, it’s just a natural reaction. And then I started being more open, because she inspired me to be more open about it. And it was almost like, seeing and hearing her speak about her abuse the way she did. And they see that it, it’s not like it doesn’t have to have all this power over you. And she kind of like switched my head from being such a [victim] of the abuse and taking my power back. And once I really felt that inside of me, I was able to start sharing more with people. And that just it, the more I share my story, I feel like the less power [it has] over me, you know, so it’s really cool, being able to express myself and open up about things like this and find who relates and sometimes people don’t relate on the exact same level. But most people can relate to an extent. 

Dr. Debra Muth  12:30  

That is such a great story. Because, you know, I think it’s true, like one person can change your entire life, your entire outlook on how a traumatic event took place, and what it was doing to you. And that one person can also free you from that trauma by just giving you the honor, the permission, the safety place, for you to be able to be raw and honest and you. And that makes a huge difference for people.

Maxx Nies  13:05  

Yeah, and like, that’s why I want to put my music out there so much. I don’t want people to feel alone. I want to open that world up for people where they feel like they have someone to talk to and they’re not alone. And they they’re not crazy for experiencing their feelings. And it’s all okay, like, that’s, that’s the point I want to get across. It’s not like, Listen to me, for me, that’s not at all how I’m trying to get my music and my story across. It’s like, I want to say, hey, look, this happened to me. If this happened to you, too, we’re in the same boat, and let’s be friends, you know, like, go through this together, I’m here for you, you be here for me, let’s support each other. So that’s…

Dr. Debra Muth  13:54  

And you know, that’s a really healthy way of dealing with it. Because I think so many times, when we’re betrayed, and we’re hurts, it’s so easy for us to stuff our feelings. And when we they’re going to come out eventually, you know, you can stuff them for so long, but they’re gonna show up somewhere in your life. And typically, they show up in not such a great way, you know. Some kind of addiction or some kind of unhealthy behavior that we have. And it’s really learning to get over that betrayal and how to love yourself again.

Maxx Nies  14:34  

And that’s been like the topic of my life for the past like three years, like learning how to love myself because I really feel like in my childhood that was not even stripped away from me, but it was taught to me in a very unhealthy way. And, or maybe it wasn’t even taught to me self love. Definitely growing up, I was learning for my Dad to be abusive towards myself, and then when I stopped seeing him and he was not abusing it, I started abusing myself even more, the way- because his wasn’t there. And still to this day, like I even had to talk with my uncle about it. Yeah, I have to, like, on train my head to think about to think and feel certain things. Because it’s, I don’t have to be in that mindset anymore of like safety, protection and constantly having this guard up. And especially like with my relationships with boys right now, like 20 years old, and like dating in LA is not easy already. But right at all of your emotional and childhood trauma and baggage that you’ve got going on. It’s definitely not easy. So yeah, I’m still like, trying to strip away all of those, those ideas and thoughts that my dad put on me.

Dr. Debra Muth  16:09  

I think it’s so easy for that, um, I grew up in an alcoholic family, my dad was an alcoholic, and, and you never knew how he was going to come home. He’d either come home, the very happy drunk that would embarrass you in front of your friends. But he was fun. And everyone thought he was great. Or he’d come home that miserable, life sucks, everybody’s horrible and just kind of lash out. And so I to growing up, you know, I grew up as the the fat girl, I wasn’t fat at all. But I still carry that to this day, looking at myself and thinking that I’m obese. And I developed an eating disorder at 16 for the same reason, because it was the one thing that I had control over. And you know, it’s so easy, I think, for us to push those feelings aside and not deal with them. And then they just show up differently. And I did a lot of that too. I just pushed a lot of feelings away and pushed a lot of people away in my life growing up. Because as soon as I felt something that was similar to my dad, I was like, I’m out of there. And and I grew up this, this crazy rebel child. Now granted, that was in the 80s rebel children that were not  like they are now. But you know, and just always wanting to strive to prove him wrong. Everything I did was to prove him wrong. It was never to prove that this was something I could do, or something I wanted to do. It was to prove him wrong. Of all the things he said about me growing up. And it really takes a lot of hard work to get over those kinds of things, because they’re stuck in your subconscious mind whether you think they’re there or not.

Maxx Nies  17:56  

Yeah, for me, it was like the opposite. I still to this day, like, without even realizing it. I attract people into my life that are like my dad. And I my main goal with this person, and it’s usually a boy that I like to be dating or that even boys that approach me first. It’s like, I somehow attract them, and they remind me of my dad. And all I want to do is have them love and accept me. And I know like I’m at this place now where I know I’m not going to get the love and acceptance that I’m really craving because nothing is going to ever satisfy that unless it’s from my dad, which I’ve come to terms with he’s not giving that to me. Like I have to get to this place where I truly accept that. And I I think I’m always going to have a part of me that really wishes that he loved me and accepted me as I am and treated me well when I was a child but  I’m working every day on to supply enough love within myself so that I don’t feel that emptiness in me that I crave from a male figure in my life. And also trying to like, notice, like and have clarity on. This is a 20 year old teenage boy, he’s not going to give you that same love

Dr. Debra Muth  19:31  

not capable

Maxx Nies  19:33  

…was supposed to give you so we have to separate that and not have an emotional attachment to this boy because he’s not your dad. So don’t mad at him like he’s your dad. don’t crave love from him like he’s your dad separate, very separate. I’m just like, now getting to that. Yeah,

Dr. Debra Muth  19:52  

I remember when I was a I think it was about 21 I had a female friend who was in Her 50s at that time, and, and I think she was probably the first adult person that I shared how my my home life was with my dad. And, and, and I didn’t get any kind of I don’t want to say pity but like, I didn’t get any of this warm and fuzzy like, it’s okay, you should have had it blah, blah, blah. What I got from her was, you know what parenting doesn’t come with a manual, we do the best we can, we’re going to make mistakes, that’s the way it is, you’ve got two choices in this world, you can accept your dad for who he is. And you can love him for who he is. Or you can say, I don’t want a relationship with him at all. And you can move on, but one of the two has to happen, or you’re going to stay in this pity party for the rest of your life. And I remember sitting there looking at her like, what’s the frick just happened. And I was like, Oh my God. And once it sank in with me, and it took several months for that to sink in with me. I realized she was right. I mean, my dad came with all of his own baggage as a child. He was abused by his mom verbally. He was the only boy in his family. He had five sisters, they got all the love and attention, he got nothing. And he truly showed up the best way he knew how he didn’t know how to show up any differently. And he was dealing with his own crap. And there was nothing for him to give to me. And once I accepted that, and I really got that it was like, Okay, I don’t have to like what’s happened, I don’t have to like the childhood that I had. I don’t have to like the fact that he never showed up for any of my school things because he was at the bar and he was too busy. But I can accept the fact that he’s trying to do the best he can. And he just doesn’t know any better. And I was so grateful that I got to that place because my dad died at a really young age, he was only 62 when he died. And so I was able to make amends and have an adult relationship with Him. And it certainly wasn’t a relationship that I had one wanted with my dad. But at least I had a relationship with him that I could could hold on to and say, yeah, this is my dad, I love him. He’s doing the best he can. But I’ll never forget that. And I still to this day, hear her say that to me every once in a while, like we do the best we can. There’s no manual, we all have our own baggage. And I was just blown away by that.

Maxx Nies  22:44  

It’s actually it’s definitely important, though, to hear that if you don’t already have that in your head, because I actually did something very similar this last summer. My uncle about a year ago started telling me like you have to have forgiveness for your dad and compassion. And also his friend who participated in abuse as well. And I was like, Are you crazy? Like, why would I do that? Like, what is going through your head? Like I was like, No way, no way. I hate them all this anger I had. And then finally, after doing so much like work on myself and healing from my past and all that last August, I when my mom and I went back to visit our family in New Jersey, I decided to go to his house unannounced, and knock on his door after not seeing him for or speaking to him for like, I think 10 years. Um, I I knocked on his door and I told him that I loved him and I forgave him for all that he put me through in my past and I saw like emotion come to his face for like the first time ever. And he wanted he apologized and he wanted to have a relationship going forward. But I just I’m at this place right now where I want to give myself the most love and respect that I possibly can. And I feel like he would interfere. Because I know that he hasn’t changed. Like hit him jumping back into that is going to mess with my healing journey and process. I don’t think it’s the right time to have a relationship with him. But it definitely felt good to close that and end that chapter and tell him like, I’m sorry for what you’ve been through to do these things to me and I now and I love you and I hope that you heal one day as well.

Dr. Debra Muth  24:55  

Yeah, I think that’s such a huge healing process for you. Because when we hold hate and anger and betterment, we don’t heal inside. And it’s not that you’re condoning anything that happened or anything that he did. It’s it’s not that you’re saying what he did is okay. But it, it allows you to move forward in your healing process by saying, I recognize you had some things going on to. I get it, it’s not right. You know, but I can, I can forgive you and I can move forward. And that’s huge for you and your healing process.

Maxx Nies  25:36  

It definitely, definitely is a big, big part of it.

Dr. Debra Muth  25:39  

Yeah. And it’s hard. It’s not simple to do if we had, you know, if you’re listening out there, and you’re thinking, we’re telling you to just wake up one day and forgive somebody who’s betrayed you. That’s not how this works. This, there’s a lot of work that goes around and behind the scenes of learning to forgive someone who’s betrayed you.

Maxx Nies  26:00  

Yeah, like, even like I said, a year before I did that, I was like, You’re crazy. I will never do that. And a week before I did that I was shaking every single day like it’s not easy thing to do. Whether the reason it’s not easy is because you’re anxious or sad or angry. It all is. It’s hard to deal with for sure.

Dr. Debra Muth  26:24  

Mm hmm. Absolutely. It is so hard to do this. We had another guest on our show a couple of months ago. Her name is Debi Silber, and she runs the Betrayal Institute, and suffered a betrayal as well as an adult, and threw herself into understanding how people heal from betrayal. And so she did a PhD in behavioral therapy. And her research paper was how do people heal from betrayal because she wanted to heal from this betrayal that happened in her life. And she’s created an amazing program for people, a very safe community of people who’ve been betrayed on all different levels. And it is a safe community where people can talk and help each other out. And she does teachings. And it’s been a really amazing journey to watch people go through her program and listen to her story, because it’s crazy. And the things that we don’t think are betrayals that are that kind of gets stuck in our physical body, even though mentally we just discount it. And you know, something as simple as a colleague using one of your ideas at work, that’s a betrayal. And it’s a betrayal of somebody that you trusted.

Maxx Nies  27:47  

Every day like, yes, you don’t realize the impact it has on your yourself.

Dr. Debra Muth  27:54  

Yeah, you know, a lot of times we just blow it off, we get angry, we get upset, and then we blow it off and we move on. But every little piece of that betrayal that happens takes away a piece of who we are. And until we can put ourselves back together and deal with all of those. We’re going to struggle with other things in our life that we may not even realize we’re struggling from as a result.

Maxx Nies  28:17  

Yeah,

Dr. Debra Muth  28:18  

So true. So tell me about your plans for the future. You’re so bright, you’re so inspiring. I’m so glad you’re sharing this story. I would love to know what your plans are for the future with what you’re doing.

Maxx Nies  28:32  

Yeah, so right now the plan is to basically just keep putting music out. Keep writing, keep collaborating with people. Um, I want to be on as many podcasts as possible, I want to be on talk shows I want to be I want to be able to talk about my music and my story and help as many people as I can through that. But I also have this like huge passion to be this pop star. So I, that’s my goal. It’s to grow my fan base and to grow my music, knowledge and abilities and all of that and creativity. And to just keep growing and to get better in every way.

Dr. Debra Muth  29:20  

That’s awesome. That is so awesome. I love that. You know, if someone’s listening to us, and they’ve have a betrayal, they have a trauma, no matter what the degree is, and they’re suffering and not knowing where to go with that. What advice do you have for them?

Maxx Nies  29:38  

Um, well, I think finding people that you’re comfortable talking to, is a good first step, but also really like, getting comfortable with yourself is really important. And for me, I started doing I started meditating to get into that and really connecting with myself, I came to this realization one point in my life where I was like, I can’t be alone with myself, and be comfortable without any distractions at all. Like, I realized, like, I was so uncomfortable with myself, I really just hated myself. And so I started to force myself too, as I was doing the work with surrounding self love and going back into my childhood, and like realizing what had happened to me and accepting that I was also sitting with myself and really feeling everything I was feeling and not being judgmental about it. And it’s really hard to do. But if you can connect with yourself and be able to get to a place where you are sitting with yourself, and noticing all of the feelings or feelings and all the thoughts that are going on in your head, without judging that and not being hard on yourself about it, that really helps, it really strengthens, first of all, your intuition. And also just your, for yourself, and it helps you know, yourself. And that with that comes. And it makes you stronger as an individual because you’re capable of doing things on your own. At least this is my own experience. This is what has helped me and this was my process. But I’ve also been in a lot of therapy. And I’ve tried different kinds of therapies, and I’ve done a lot of spiritual work. It all kind of like piles on top of each other to like, create this nice peaceful mind. But yeah, I think [connecting] yourself is a huge, huge thing. 

Dr. Debra Muth  31:48  

That’s a big thing. We walk around very disconnected, and we’re in the world, disconnected from our feelings different disconnected from our heart disconnected from so much as a means of protecting ourselves. And it’s not easy connecting with yourself. It’s not easy getting in touch with these feelings. It’s hard, it’s painful. But when you can do it, there’s so many wonderful things that come on the backside of it for sure. How would you encourage people that are suffering with trauma?

Maxx Nies  32:27  

I would say that when I was going through all of my like, really hard times, it’s so little, but it really like made a difference in my mind, I would tell myself, everything is happening for a reason. And I really just had to have this like hope that things were going to get better. Because you would be so surprised like how capable your mind and body really are like you can really do anything like I’m not I don’t, I don’t want to speak for people who are in like, awful, awful situations, I don’t want to speak for like everyone, but to an extent you can really do anything for yourself, if you have the mind and the body and that drive. And what calmed me was the quote, everything happens for a reason, because you realize and sit with, there’s going to be an outcome that makes sense. This is this is a hard time that I’m going through. But I’m going to come out and there’s going to be a look at just being hopeful, I guess. And it’s hard to do, which is why I’m having like a hard time answering this question. Because I’ve definitely had days where I’m just like, it’s done, like, I’m done. trying, I’m done, I’m done, I’m done. And that’s okay, that’s totally fine. But you have to have that strength to push yourself out of it. You have to want it and not to get yourself out of tough situations like that.

Dr. Debra Muth  34:12  

I think those are great words of encouragement. You know, we talk about this a lot on the show, the universe has a plan for us. It’s not always perfect. Sometimes we have to learn hard lessons, to come out on the other side to be able to do exactly what we’re meant to do. And without those hard lessons, we couldn’t do what we do. And so you got to trust in the universe. You’ve got to trust in your higher power, God, universe, nature, whatever your higher power is for you. You have to trust that there is truly a plan. And that plan is bigger than us and we may not see it. But I think you’re right. If you have faith and you have belief in something bigger, and you know there’s a reason that’s going to come out of this, out of this situation, no matter what it is, you will be better for it or you will make someone’s life better for it because you can be there for them. And I look at you as being you’re being the light to so many other people to be able to share their stories, when in so many instances, people have had to be quiet in these instances. And so thank you for that. Thank you for sharing your stories. And thank you for getting them out there. I think it’s so important. 

Maxx Nies  35:34  

Well, thank you for giving me the opportunity to

Dr. Debra Muth  35:37  

Absolutely my dear. You know, anybody who’s listening to us talk about this, I think one important thing that we should talk about is the fact that if you’re being abused, you need to speak up, you need to go to someone that you trust, you need to go and tell someone it’s happening so that you can get some help, don’t be afraid that you’re going to be in trouble, especially as a young person, you were nine that took a lot of power and a lot of courage for you to speak up at nine. Because you’re right at that age, you don’t necessarily know what’s right or wrong. 

Maxx Nies  36:14  

Definitely, it’s very important to talk about it. Especially, even, definitely tell people about going on, so that you can be in a better situation, hopefully, but also, just like, do not, please don’t bottle it up, like if you are being abused. Or if you just got out of an abusive situation, please speak about it, get it out of you. And like that’s why writing was such a big thing for me, because it was a way of me expressing it and talking to that one woman and relating to her. And like, it’s just so important to get it out of your body, out of your mind out of your body, whether it’s physical or verbal or any way, you just have to release that. That emotion.

Dr. Debra Muth  37:03  

It is so important. And like you said, it’s so easy to to continue that pattern. Because it’s comfortable. It’s not that it’s right, but it’s comfortable. You know how to deal with it, you’ve dealt with it. So it’s so easy to repeat that pattern as we age and go into different relationships. I did the same thing for a number of years went into relationships of abusive men and verbally were abusive, exactly like my father was. And it took a long time. And, and I took a very long hiatus from dating, I stopped dating for about four and a half years. And everybody questioned like,are you a lesbian, now?Are you this or that? I said, No, I’m just focusing on me. I don’t want to be interrupted, I don’t want anybody in my space. I don’t want anybody disrupting my flow. I need to figure out who I am before I can commit to somebody else in a relationship and have it be healthy. And that’s okay to do that.

Maxx Nies  38:00  

Oh, that’s, that’s really amazing. Yeah, had the strength to do that.

Dr. Debra Muth  38:07  

Yeah, it’s hard. You know, and you can have male friends, but it doesn’t, you just don’t want to be in that deep relationship when you’re healing because like you said earlier, you don’t want them to disrupt your flow. And they you don’t want them to disrupt your healing process. And until you’re comfortable enough with your healing process, it’s okay for you to be completely selfish and focus on you. Because that’s what we need to heal to be healthy people going forward.

Maxx Nies  38:32  

Right? Yeah, that’s very true.

Dr. Debra Muth  38:34  

so great. This has been such a great conversation. Um, Max, if somebody wants to reach out to you, if they want to hear your music, how do they get in touch with you? 

Maxx Nies  38:46  

Yeah, so my Instagram is Maxx: M-a-x-x dot nies, n-i-e-s. And then on Facebook, I’m Maxx, m-a-x-x. My YouTube channel is Maxx: m-a-x-x. My song is on Spotify, Spotify, Spotify, Apple Music, amazon music, basically all music platforms. And my artists name is Maxx, m-a-x-x. And yeah, I just put out a music video and a song. And you can find the video on YouTube with the songs everywhere. And I will be releasing next month as well. And I will be teasing everyone about that on my Instagram. And that will be coming this next week.

Dr. Debra Muth  39:32  

Oh, that is so awesome. I’m so proud of you and so excited for you. For those of you who are listening, driving, don’t worry about writing this down. We’ll have this all in our show notes. You’ll also find it on our Facebook page: Let’s Talk Wellness Now. We will promote Maxx, promote her music. I really want you guys to listen to it. It’s amazing. She’s got great stuff and I think it can really help us all heal during some really crazy times in the world right now too. We need that. So thank you. So So much for being a guest for me today.

Maxx Nies  40:02  

Thank you, I had a great time.