btr.org - btr.org has daily, online Group and Individual Sessions for victims of emotional & psychological abuse and sexual coercion. For women experiencing pain, chaos, and isolation due to their husband’s lying, gaslighting, manipulation, porn use, cheating, infidelity, emotional abuse, and narcissistic abuse. Labeling a victim as "codependent" is a form of victim blaming. Pornography addiction / sex addiction are a domestic abuse issue. Narcissistic abuse is not a communication issue. We help women who are married, separated, or divorced heal through establishing emotional safety. If you suspect your husband is a narcissist, a pornography addict, or emotionally abusive, this podcast is for you. Every woman on our team has experienced betrayal trauma first hand. To learn more about Betrayal Trauma Recovery, visit BTR.ORG
https://www.btr.org/podcast/
episode 165: When Your Husband Is Clergy
Is your husband using pornography? But he's also your pastor? Bishop? Rabbi? Minister? Is he your spiritual or religious leader? Learn what to do when your abuser is clergy.
Women experience a unique trauma when their spiritual leader is also their unfaithful and abusive husband. Miss C. went through years of devastation, confusion, and pain. Her abusive ex-husband, a youth pastor, betrayed her, lied to her, gaslit her, and used other clergy members and religious programs to silence her. Hear her full story on the free BTR Podcast.
My Abuser Is Clergy: Where Can I Turn?
In many churches and religious institutions, women can feel completely trapped when their abuser is also a religious leader.
Victims often relate that telling the truth about the abuse and betrayal is humiliating. Religious leaders back up the abuser, minimize the abuse, and turn on the victim all-too often.
So where can victims turn when their faith communities fail them?
Find Safe Support Right Away
Clergy-induced trauma is unique and especially painful. When that clergy is your own husband, it's devastating beyond words.
Abusive clergy condition victims to feel isolated, as if there is no world beyond the religious community.
Victims: find safe support outside of your faith community right away.
This may feel daunting. You may feel like you have no friends or family outside of your faith community. But don't despair. There are resources available to you right now.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=u1ZQFd772Hg&t=1s
Steps To Take When Your Abuser Is Clergy
Your decision to find safety is not a reflection of your spirituality or your faith in God. Rather, it's an indication that men who were supposed to be acting in God's name have gravely wronged you and are not worthy of the titles that they bear as religious leaders. Others may shame, blame, and dismiss you if you seek safety from abusive clergy. But find hope and freedom in the knowledge that God wants you to be safe more than anything.
When your abuser is clergy, take the following steps to safety:
* Do not engage. Don't try to convince him or his ministerial colleagues that he is abusive* Speak as openly as you can to a trustworthy friend or family member* If you don't have a friend or family member, call an emotional support line and share what's happening* Determine your safety needs and set boundaries* Join a support network, like the Betrayal Trauma Recovery Group* From a safe distance (emotionally and physically) consider holding your abuser accountable. A safe friend, family member, or BTR coach can guide you through this process. * For reportable crimes, consider meeting with Coach Renee.
Betrayal Trauma Is Here For You When Your Abuser Is Clergy
We understand how you may be feeling. Trapped. Confused. Afraid. Alone. But Betrayal Trauma Recovery is here for you.
The Betrayal Trauma Recovery Group meets every day in every time zone. You can process your trauma, share your story, and ask questions. Join today.
You can heal. You can find safety. You can find healing. You don't have to do it alone.
Full Transcript:
Welcome to Betrayal Trauma Recovery. This is Anne.