btr.org - btr.org has daily, online Group and Individual Sessions for victims of emotional & psychological abuse and sexual coercion. For women experiencing pain, chaos, and isolation due to their husband’s lying, gaslighting, manipulation, porn use, cheating, infidelity, emotional abuse, and narcissistic abuse. Labeling a victim as "codependent" is a form of victim blaming. Pornography addiction / sex addiction are a domestic abuse issue. Narcissistic abuse is not a communication issue. We help women who are married, separated, or divorced heal through establishing emotional safety. If you suspect your husband is a narcissist, a pornography addict, or emotionally abusive, this podcast is for you. Every woman on our team has experienced betrayal trauma first hand. To learn more about Betrayal Trauma Recovery, visit BTR.ORG
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episode 191: When He Uses The Kids To Hurt You
At BTR, we know that there is no fear or pain equivalent to the trauma that comes from an ex-partner using your children to harm you.
Whether it's through the family court system, co-parenting, or simply creating chaos out of every-day situations, abusers know that one of the most effective ways to harm a woman is through her children.
When he uses the children to hurt you, you can still seek deliverance and peace. Anne shares her thoughts on the free The BTR.ORG Podcast and in the full transcript below.
When He Uses The Kids To Hurt You In The Courtroom
Abusive men use the courtroom as an opportunity to not only torment victims, but to manipulate court professionals and seek validation. They don't want parenting time, they want to win. They don't want a peaceful resolution. They want chaos. They enjoy the fight.
When he uses the kids to hurt you in the courtroom, it is essential that you seek support, practice radical self-compassion and self-care, and live by boundaries.
Family court systems all over the world are broken. Outcomes are completely unpredictable. However, you can determine now to love and accept yourself no matter what happens. You can determine now to surround yourself with people who love you and build you up. You will need support and community as you face your abuser in the courtroom.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=rD89GkQTlPg
When He Uses The Kids To Hurt You, Accept & Embrace Your Own Anger
"You have one choice, one path, and the path is to get to real true emotional and psychological safety. That is your goal, and if on that path to safety you’re angry, great. If on that path to safety you seem crazy to some people because you move out, and they're like, "Your husband's so great, why are you moving out, you seem crazy," fine. The goal, the one possible option for you is to get to safety. And my belief is that the safer and safer you feel and the actual distance you put between yourself and the harm, the less angry you will feel over time, and that's because your anger is a gift from God that will help you take action. And the reason why everybody is afraid of an angry woman is that an angry woman takes action and people do not want women to take action."
Anne Blythe, founder of Betrayal Trauma Recovery
When He Uses The Kids To Hurt You: Abuse By Proxy
When an abuser harms or manipulates the children in order to harm you, it's called "abuse by proxy." This is a severe form of post-separation abuse.
BTR.ORG Group Sessions are here for you with daily, live sessions. Attend a session today and find the community, validation, and support that you need. Talking through the post-separation abuse that you are enduring is a powerful way to seek healing from trauma. We are here for you.
Full Transcript
Anne: Welcome to Betrayal Trauma Recovery, this is Anne.
Before we get to today’s episode, BTRG is our daily online support group. We have 21 plus sessions per week for you to choose from. You don't have to wait for an appointment, you don't have to leave your home. We are here for you. We'd love to see you in a session today.
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