How many boxes do you need to pack to move on with your life?
How much baggage will you drag forward with you, ensuring the unresolved issues, disappointments, and regrets from your past take up space in your future?
Listen in to find out what sparks joy for you now and how to ignite more!
Answer the questions and journal with my Change Decoded System and increase your clarity.
Join me for a guided audio tutorial about how to use and maximize the system.
Download the PDF and share it generously.
Our series about #CHANGE began with Episode 35, “Driving Change”
and continued Episode 37 “Change Decoded”
and continued Episode 38 “Change Your Mind”
and recently added Episode 39 “Grieving Change”
About the Host:
Isabel Banerjee - Your Next Business
Strategist and Transformation Catalyst
Dynamic, a self-made entrepreneur who overcame obstacles with an unrelenting positive nature, a farm girl work ethic, and a conscious choice to thrive rather than survive, Isabel Alexander Banerjee cultivated an award-winning, $10 million+ global chemical business and grew it from dining room table to international boardrooms.
Isabel’s strengths include the ability to initiate & nurture strategic relationships, a love of lifelong learning and talents for helping others maximize their potential. An inspiring speaker within both industry and community, she is a driving force behind those with the courage to foll0ow her example of thriving against the odds.
With 50+ years of business experience across diverse industries, Isabel is respected as an advisor, a coach, a mentor, and a role model. She believes in sharing collective wisdom and empowering others to economic independence.
Founder of the Lift As You Climb Movement (www.facebook.com/groups/liftasyouclimbmovement)
Chief Encore Officer, The Encore Catalyst (www.theencorecatalyst.com) – an accelerator for feminine wisdom, influence, and impact.
Author & Speaker ‘Who Am I Now? – Feminine Wisdom Unmasked Uncensored’ (www.IsabelBanerjee.com)
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LAYC40 - Unpacking Change
Welcome everyone. I'm glad you're here again as we continue to talk about the theme... Change. It happens to all of us, whether we want it or not, but being in the driver's seat on change... As I shared in our earlier episode, *Driving Change...* And working through difficult changes, as I talked about in Change Decoded... Is part of this peeling back of the layers and complexity of change. Even Grieving Change, as we talked about last week.
Today, my topic is Unpacking Change... That is an intentional play on the situation, because in fact, I'm in the midst of packing. I hadn't quite planned to come out right now and disclose all of my personal situation. But after a party in my honor, a bon voyage party, you might say, and best wishes for the next chapter of my life... A friend posted some photographs on social media with great, great intentions... she revealed that I am packing this week, and I am moving back to Canada.
If you're as smart as I know you are... You're reading between the lines and going... Oh, divorce... Divorce... And yes, that is the reason that I have change on my mind so much these days. Upcoming episodes on this podcast will be Irreconcilable Change, and Uncoupling Change.
That's the two sides of the opposite perspective, that I'm going to share my thoughts on with you. But today, because I'm staring at the calendar... And I know that I've only got two more days to finish packing all up... A decade of living in another country and moving back... Re-establishing myself in Canada... At least for a while, as I sort out what this next stage of my life is going to be like, and where I want to settle... How I show up, as I say in my terms... Who am I now?
It's been no easy emotional journey, working through the change of a relationship. The change of status... All the baggage that comes with that emotionally... Regrets and grief, disappointment and anger, worry and hurt and concern.
All the while, I have to stay focused on sorting through the household. What's yours, what's mine, what's ours... How we divide it. What do I want to take forward into my new residence, my new life, and unpacking a lot of memories associated with these physical items.
No one will say that I am the most organized person and certainly I have many strengths and skills. But, I do have a penchant for doing things on tight deadlines and under pressure.
Because of my circumstances, I have opted to do this packing myself, with very little help, except for one amazing friend, Diana who came and packed my art collection with me. I am so grateful for that. Oh, my gosh, our vitamin G is so essential during times of personal change. keep those relationships, those beloved girlfriends close to you, nurture them... Because these are the days that you need them so much.
I have a pod, which is being delivered... Like a shipping container instead of a moving truck. It's the do it yourself movers solution... Where the empty pod will be delivered to my driveway. I have hired some muscle, to help load the contents in, and secure it properly for transit, thousands of miles across the continent. But I'm running out of time, and I'm starting to panic that I'm packing stuff that I don't want... Or I don't need, or I will run out of space. That made me realize that in the last couple of weeks, I have packed... So emotionally, based on a sense of obligation... That I'm carrying around from past lives, past moves.
Moving is stressful at any time. There's just no denying that. There's just so many things that have to be considered. What to take, what to give away, what to leave for somebody else, what to donate... How to leave things clean and organized, how to make sure things have arrived in good condition on the other end.
And I particularly felt this... As I looked at a lamp, that I had to decide about taking or not. There's a story attached to this lamp. It belonged to my mother, who has been gone from this earth for several decades. My childhood, was at a farm in Canada, and we had a pretty simple existence... We didn't have a lot of very elegant, or decorative things. I'm pretty confident that each of you could think of a particular item with great emotional attachment... Deep memories attached to it. That may resonate with the story I'm about to share with you.
On the weekend, I was packing my office and as I looked around, I saw up on the top shelf... In a safe, safe space... A lamp that belonged to my mother. Back in the sixties, a television set was a piece of furniture of great prominence in the family living room. On top of the television, my mother was very proud to showcase, on top of one of those lovely crocheted doilies... A lamp, which was the faces of comedy and tragedy... You know, the theatrical icon. This was a green ceramic lamp, absolutely hideous pea soup colored green... In my opinion, as a child. There that lamp sat... And we had to be very careful as children that we didn't touch it... That we didn't knock it. Now, unfortunately... 4 kids in the house, time passed by, and the lamp was cracked, and damaged, many times. But my mother... Very lovingly, and painstakingly... Glued that lamp back together, time and time again. It's as delicate as a dinosaur, with little tiny fractures in it. I asked my father for that lamp after my mother died... And I have transported that lamp, like a Faberge egg... From multiple of my own homes, and across the border, 10 years ago to Arizona.
Here I was again... Faced with packing this treasure, this heirloom, again... To go back... And thinking... Oh my gosh... It would be like breaking my mother... Breaking my bond with her. If something were to happen to this lamp in transit.
All the while, the other voice in my head was saying... Oh my God... But it's so hideous... It's chipped, and cracked, and glued... It's an ugly green and it really holds no value in your life other than... You're still attached to your mother.
Then I realized that a wave of guilt was flowing over me. And I stopped to consider that. And I realized the reason that I have made such a priority of protecting this lamp, and keeping it with me for the last 20, 25 years, perhaps was... I felt guilty that I didn't show my mother enough love while she was alive. That I didn't value her enough, and didn't realize what a very difficult life she endured, to raise and protect her children.
It's taken a while to process. And with the help of my Vitamin G network... My grief, or regrets, about my relationship with my mother... My memories of the good times, and how I grew to respect her more and more, as I became a mother. As I aged... As I experienced relationships that were disappointing, and difficult. My memories... They were not in the lamp... They're in my heart, and they will always be there. And that silly old lamp, has absolutely no power over how I treasure my mother... How I will stay connected with her, throughout my life... If I choose to do so, and keep my thoughts about her ever present... Like the air I breathe.
I think of the chaos that I have put myself through. The stress I've put myself through, in the last couple of weeks of packing up things that I should have released long before this move, and moves in the past... That I've been conditioned to accumulate things in my life. Conditioned to feel guilty about letting go of stuff... Because it was a gift to me, or there was some idea that it was attached to respecting and loving somebody.
I mentioned my girlfriend had come to help me pack up my art collection. Now, in retrospect, I think how very stupid was that... Because the pieces are large and unwieldly, It took a lot of choreography and logistics on her part to package them for transit. These were art pieces that were from my business life in the past, or for a different home and décor style, or gifts to me from a time and a place and relationships that no longer matter to me. And yet, I have it deeply ingrained in me... A... Having been brought up in a very modest home environment. Waste not, want not. And also have been brought up in... Be grateful for everything that has been given to you... Whether you want it, or not. We're always supposed to be excited and grateful for the gifts that we were given. But I have not been well schooled in releasing... Letting go of what I have accumulated, that no longer serves me.
In the episodes preceding this podcast, I share with you, that part of my NOW evolution... Is learning to love and treasure the parts of me and the experiences in my life... That have brought me to who I am now, today.
But letting go of the things that no longer serve the future that I want. Letting go of the people and the habits... And the stuff that doesn't help me to be more of who I choose to become... and that keep me anchored in who I was.
It's no wonder that Marie Kondo has become so incredibly vital, and that people are embracing that whole aspect of downsizing and decluttering, and clearing out stuff that does not bring us joy.
Here I am, I have to laugh at myself thinking... I know this... I know this stuff. And I've got really smart, amazing friends, that teach this stuff.
I wish I'd thought a lot more about this, a couple weeks ago... Before I filled all those boxes that are carefully packed, and taped, and labeled... Because when I get to the other end and I am unpacking... I'm going to have to go through this emotional vetting again. But I promise you I'm going to do that... Because I am here on this journey... And I promise you that I will share... What I learn through this process of unpacking change... This time.
How does that make me more of who I am now?... and who I want to become? My friends... Look around you. Look inside your heart and mind. Remember... The people that we love, the experiences that we have treasured, the knowledge that we have accumulated... Our lifetime vault of tacit knowledge and experience, is not attached to the stuff... And you don't have to drag it into your future.
So, before I pack it up today, pun intended... Don't forget... That you can take advantage of my journey, and my learnings and the tools that I've created to help myself and all my clients. One of the ones that I think is very relevant to this conversation is... My Change Decoded system. The link for the free download of that, will be included in the show notes. Changed Decoded system may help you decide which things you should take forward into your future, which relationships, and which new visions for yourself.
Goodbye for now.