Horror Movie Talk

We saw Brahms: The Boy II in theaters and it was so bland and unfulfilling that I questioned whether or not I want to spend my free time reviewing movies of this caliber. As soon as I asked that question of myself, I realized that the answer is obviously -  yes. I need to watch these boring hunks of junk to make sure you don’t have to. @dgoebel00 on instagram provided this amazing artwork. Follow him and check out his website. https://youtu.be/ytxEldPKnyA Synopsis The Boy II is a stand-alone sequel to the somewhat more interesting movie, The Boyfrom 2016, which you can currently watch on Amazon for $3.99. It was directed by William Brent Bell, who has been directing horror movies like The Devil Inside, and the original The Boyfrom 2016. This is the story of a family of three, Liza (Katie Holmes), Sean (Owain Yeoman), and their son Jude (Christopher Convery) that escape to the countryside to heal after a burglary gone wrong at their house in London. Watch Brahms: The Boy IIPre-order on AmazonClick here to Watch Jude, the young son stops talking following the attack, and when the family shows up at the guest house on the Heelshire estate (where the original The Boy took place) he finds a doll buried in the woods.  The doll and Jude share a lot in common: not talking, staring blankly at whoever addresses them, generally being boring, and desiring to kill whole families. Through a notepad that Jude uses to communicate, we learn that the doll is named Brahms, and he has a bunch of rules for the family to follow.  You would be surprised how stringent these rules are, so they are broken often and the family is thrown into an uproar each time. Eventually, we find out that Brahms is more doll than this family bargained for. Review Brahms: The Boy II is a sincerely boring movie that does everything technically correct on paper. Casting, acting, pacing, direction - it’s all passable. The end result is boring as sin, though. At least movies like Fantasy Island are so zany that they are fun in an ironic way. Brahms: The Boy II bored me to tears and I don’t believe that you should ever watch it.  Score 3/10 Spoilers Click to Expand for Brahms: The Boy II Spoilers As I write this I am bored to tears at the prospect of having to relive the minutiae of The Boy II, but here it goes. Jude is Mute The burglary/attack on Liza and Jude really did a number on them, and Jude ends up going mute. Great, now we have to hear two nagging parents dote on their child throughout this already tedious script. Jude going mute is supposed to add to the spook factor of the whole thing by making us relate to the parent's further challenge of reaching their troubled child. Instead, Jude having to write out his every response adds padding to an already slim movie. Jude not talking also helps to draw a closer parallel with him and Brahms, the doll. By the end of the movie, Jude is dressing, doing his hair, and wearing a mask that makes him look just like the doll Look exciting? Right, it's not. The Brahms Doll MORE: Click Here for our blog about some of the most deadly horror movie dolls Brahms is truly one of the most uninspired and generic horror movie dolls that I’ve ever seen. He has no hook, nothing that makes him interesting at all. What are Brahms origins? There was once a boy on the Heelshire Estate that killed his family. His soul got into his doll. That’s it. The End Brahms: The Boy II ends in the least satisfying way it possibly could have – a history lesson. The groundskeeper tells the family about the backstory of the doll and gives us a bit of a montage of the destruction the boy doll caused. The dad smacks the doll’s head and a weird creepy face is revealed beneath his smooth veneer. Then the cliffhanger at the very end, once the danger is gone, is that Jude still enjoys wearing doll-like masks and might still kill his family...