btr.org - btr.org has daily, online Group and Individual Sessions for victims of emotional & psychological abuse and sexual coercion. For women experiencing pain, chaos, and isolation due to their husband’s lying, gaslighting, manipulation, porn use, cheating, infidelity, emotional abuse, and narcissistic abuse. Labeling a victim as "codependent" is a form of victim blaming. Pornography addiction / sex addiction are a domestic abuse issue. Narcissistic abuse is not a communication issue. We help women who are married, separated, or divorced heal through establishing emotional safety. If you suspect your husband is a narcissist, a pornography addict, or emotionally abusive, this podcast is for you. Every woman on our team has experienced betrayal trauma first hand. To learn more about Betrayal Trauma Recovery, visit BTR.ORG
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episode 203: The Secret Sexual Basement
When a man chooses to have a "secret sexual basement", he is abusing his partner. Period.
Dr. Omar Minwalla, licensed psychologist and clinical sexologist from the Institute of Sexual Health, joins Anne on the free BTR podcast to take a deep dive into why sexual betrayal is a domestic abuse issue.
Listen to the free BTR podcast and read the full transcript below for more.
What Is "The Secret Sexual Basement"?
A man has created a "Secret Sexual Basement" when he has a "deceptive, compartmentalized sexual or relational reality."
Dr. Omar Minwalla describes this as an "integrity abuse disorder situation".
Having a "Secret Sexual Basement" is Abuse
When a man chooses to:
* Manipulate* Lie to* Gaslight* Emotionally neglect and/or* Financially neglect
his partner and family in order to keep his secret sexual basement intact, he is abusing them.
Further, in order to have a secret sexual basement in the first place, there is a sense of sexual entitlement.
Sexual Entitlement Is Abusive
"The minute you have sexual entitlement, you're abusive."Dr. Omar Minwalla, the Institute for Sexual Health
Even if a man is fully transparent about his sexual activities - thus having no "secret" sexual basement - if he feels entitled to sex, he is still abusive.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=pnyRE1YPae8
Prioritize Your Safety Now
At BTR, we understand how difficult it can be to accept that your partner's sexual betrayal is abuse - especially if you have been conditioned to believe that your partner is sexually addicted and needs your support to "heal".
Anne's message to you is simple:
"I would say to our community, what this means for you is in a practical way, is that this is not an 'in sickness and in health issue,' this is who they are. This is not that they're just having a bad day, or that they're troubled for a little while, but it's how they're going to act."Anne Blythe, founder of Betrayal Trauma Recovery
Choose now to prioritize your safety rather than your partner's recovery. The Betrayal Trauma Recovery Group can give you the support you need as you begin your journey to recovery.
Full Transcript:
Anne: Anne: Welcome to Betrayal Trauma Recovery, this is Anne.
Our daily online support group has more sessions than any other support group out there. We have over 21 sessions per week for you to choose from. You don't have to wait for an appointment, you don't have to leave your home, you can join from your closet or your parked car in your garage. Check out the session schedule; we'd love to see you in a session today.
For everyone who has given this podcast a five-star rating and perhaps even a review on Apple podcasts or other podcasting apps, thank you so much. If this podcast has helped you when you rate it, you help other women find it, so your ratings make a big difference. Today I'd like to address a three-star review that I received that I think is asking an interesting question. It says: helpful, but why so religious? This podcast helped me in times when I needed to wake up to the verbal abuse from my husband but take it with a grain ...