btr.org - btr.org has daily, online Group and Individual Sessions for victims of emotional & psychological abuse and sexual coercion. For women experiencing pain, chaos, and isolation due to their husband’s lying, gaslighting, manipulation, porn use, cheating, infidelity, emotional abuse, and narcissistic abuse. Labeling a victim as "codependent" is a form of victim blaming. Pornography addiction / sex addiction are a domestic abuse issue. Narcissistic abuse is not a communication issue. We help women who are married, separated, or divorced heal through establishing emotional safety. If you suspect your husband is a narcissist, a pornography addict, or emotionally abusive, this podcast is for you. Every woman on our team has experienced betrayal trauma first hand. To learn more about Betrayal Trauma Recovery, visit BTR.ORG
https://www.btr.org/podcast/
episode 205: The Abusive Scripts That Harm Us
"Why aren't you married yet?"
"You're too pretty to be single."
"Boys will be boys."
Dr. Omar Minwalla joins Anne on the BTR podcast to take a deep dive into how victims develop complex trauma as a result of the misogynistic scripts that are fed to men, women, and children.
These scripts encourage men to abuse women, women to stay in abusive relationships, and children to both abuse and tolerate abuse.
Listen to the free BTR podcast and read the full transcript below for more.
"Why Aren't You Married Yet?"
The pressure on men and women to enter into long-term committed relationships, especially men and women in faith communities, can lead to disastrous consequences.
Women may feel that their worth as human beings depend on their marital status, while men may emerge into adulthood feeling entitled to a wife.
The freedom of choice is taken out of the equation when we are scripted to believe that we have no choice but to marry once we enter into adulthood.
"That's a form of forcing a human being into something that's so life-altering against their true will, by grooming them and pressuring them [to get married]. That's a form of complex trauma and it's extremely damaging. To pressure them from day one, that if you don't, something's wrong with you, and you're not whole is such a crippling, abusive, toxic psychology to impart on a child."Dr. Omar Minwalla
"You're Too Pretty To Be Single"
When women are told that they are too pretty, cute, smart, sexy - too anything - to be or stay single - this message is one of objectification.
The scripting of women as not owning themselves is age-old and is so deeply engrained in society that most of us are not even aware of it.
Telling a woman that she's too "cute" or "pretty" to stay single implies that her "cuteness" is not hers - or is not valid - unless it is owned by a man.
"My finger goes to the word owned, and cuteness is only legitimate if a man owns it."Dr. Omar Minwalla
"Abuse is Only Abuse If It Includes Physical Violence"
The dangerous scripting that emotional, psychological, financial, and spiritual abuse are somehow less harmful than physical abuse is deeply harmful to victims, family, and society as a whole.
When faith communities, families, and individuals accept the scripting that physical abuse is the only real abuse, they are more likely to enable and condone abuse - or even abuse others themselves.
Victims of abuse may become confused about their own situation and minimize what is happening to them.
In my religion's handbooks, it says we do not tolerate any abuse. I just don't think people understand what abuse is. They don't apply it to this context. They don't understand what emotional abuse is. They don't understand what psychological abuse is. They don't understand sexual coercion.Anne Blythe, founder of Betrayal Trauma Recovery
Find Help at BTR
At BTR, we understand how difficult it is to face the reality of these deeply engrained scripts - and to work toward truth and safety.
Find the support you need today by joining the Betrayal Trauma Recovery Group.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=swkKweIESsU