btr.org - btr.org has daily, online Group and Individual Sessions for victims of emotional & psychological abuse and sexual coercion. For women experiencing pain, chaos, and isolation due to their husband’s lying, gaslighting, manipulation, porn use, cheating, infidelity, emotional abuse, and narcissistic abuse. Labeling a victim as "codependent" is a form of victim blaming. Pornography addiction / sex addiction are a domestic abuse issue. Narcissistic abuse is not a communication issue. We help women who are married, separated, or divorced heal through establishing emotional safety. If you suspect your husband is a narcissist, a pornography addict, or emotionally abusive, this podcast is for you. Every woman on our team has experienced betrayal trauma first hand. To learn more about Betrayal Trauma Recovery, visit BTR.ORG
https://www.btr.org/podcast/
episode 243: Is Marriage Meant To Be This Hard?
Is crying yourself to sleep normal?
Is everyone else getting the cold shoulder unless they apologize for an argument they didn't start?
Do other women have to submit sexually, no matter how much they don't want to, to keep their husbands happy and faithful?
On the BTR.ORG podcast, Anne asks Elizabeth, who has been in an abusive marriage and is now in a healthy marriage, to answer the question many of us spend hours pondering and researching: is marriage meant to be this hard?
Tune in to the BTR.ORG podcast and read the full transcript below for more.
"Marriage Is Hard" Enables Abuse
The old "Marriage is hard" trope enables abusers. When clergy, family, therapists, and others tell women who are struggling to survive an abuse situation that all marriages are difficult, all men demand sex, and all women are enduring some level of misery, victims may feel that they aren't justified to seek safety.
The truth? Healthy marriages are a safe space from the pain, fatigue, and trauma of life. Healthy marriages do not cause pain, fatigue, and trauma.
"When you said marriage doesn't have to be hard work, you were speaking from experience, right? Because your current marriage doesn't feel like hard work."
Anne Blythe, Founder of BTR.ORG
So What's "Normal"?
Many women in the BTR.ORG community fear that their experiences with abuse have altered their perception of "normal" and "healthy", making it so that they won't be able to recognize a healthy relationship and will be attracted to abuse.
None of this was your fault. We're never so broken that we deserve to be abused.
Anne Blythe, Founder of BTR.ORG
This list may help you if you are having trouble identifying abusive behaviors in your relationships:
* Gaslighting is abuse
* Yelling is abuse
* Punching walls, hitting objects, and slamming doors is abuse
* Hurting or threatening pets is abuse
* Coercing you into sex is abuse
* Having sex with you when you're sleeping, using painkillers, or feeling sick is abuse
* Giving you an STD is abuse
* Humiliating you is abuse
* Having sex with you without your informed consent (including about his pornography use or other sexual behaviors) is abuse
* Shaming you, using scriptures, Conference talks, or other religious materials is abuse
* Lying to other people about you is abuse
This list is not exhaustive, but may help you to identify covert abuse in your relatinship.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=rFU3_g38Yjg
Are You In An Abusive Marriage?
At BTR.ORG, we know the feeling of the floor falling under your feet when it slowly dawns on you that you are in an abusive marriage.
We know that the first instinct women usually experience is a desire to point it out to the abuser, and try to elicit him to change.
We also know that this doesn't work and puts the victim in more danger - emotionally, sexually, and physically.
We are here for you.