The Art of Charm

The Art of Charm is where self-motivated people, just like you, come to learn from the company’s coaches about to how to master human dynamics, relationships, and becoming your best self with the help of Johnny and AJ, the company’s founders. Johnny and AJ bring their 11 years of coaching experience from their famous Bootcamps, where they host clients in Los Angeles from all over the world and they share their stories, best practices and themselves on this weekly podcast. Not only does The Art of Charm help everyday people, including active members of the military, learn how to become higher performers, better spouses, partners, and coworkers, they dig deep into human behavior, the science behind it, and demystify what we do and why we do it.

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330: Peter Sage | Why Certainty is a Myth

Become a complete version of you.

"It's not about what skills you're born with, it's about the mindset you develop."-Peter Sage

The Cheat Sheet:

How to stop swimming in GOOP (and what goop stands for). (16:50)
The question to ask to shift your perspective on a situation. (28:30)
Why knowing something is useless. (31:00)
The two emotions that align your heart and your mind. (41:20)
A tip to change a woman's mind. (55:30)
What's the difference between manipulation and intent? (57:10)
And so much more...

Most people in the world are living with situations and experiences that don't serve them, all for the sake of certainty. Perhaps they even know what they're doing, but they don't change. Why? Because living with certainty (even if it means being unhappy) is easier for most of us than living with uncertainty.

Here to explain why this is human nature and how we can break free from it to live healthier and more fulfilling lives is Peter Sage. Peter is a highly accomplished serial entrepreneur, best-selling author, speaker and extreme athlete. Today he joins us to talk about why certainty isn't real, and how applying that knowledge can shift our mindset, our relationships and our entire lives ..and so much more on the 330th episode of The Art of Charm.

More About This Show:

In this episode, Peter gives us a crazy amount of wisdom, advice and insights that have helped him be successful over the last two decades. Before the age of 30, Peter had built over 15 start-ups! And he says he owes much of this success to his interest and passion for personal development. Today he travels the world speaking and giving back to others, helping them find their best version of themselves.

In the best version of himself Peter has learned that certainty is a falsehood, it doesn't actually exist. We only think it does and that thinking keeps us stuck in all areas of our lives. Another truth he has discovered is that the quality and fullness of our lives are in direct proportion to the amount of uncertainty we are willing to embrace.

That's all well and good, but how do we implement that into our lives? How can we embrace uncertainty when our default programming is to go towards what we know? Peter says the first step is awareness. We have to be aware that our programming is taking us in a certain direction. Is that a direction we want to go in? If not, become aware and make a change. And then trust that by making that change, life is going to support us and work with us rather than against it.

And when it comes to relationships we need to become aware as well and examine our relationships. It's important to ask ourselves did we get into this relationship for selfish reasons? Are we looking to have our needs met? Or are we looking for someone to complete us?

Both scenarios, which are Level I and Level II-type relationships according to Peter, will simply get us relationships that are limited in length because they are either selfish or transactional in nature. Instead become the person you want to be, regardless of your relationship status. Focus on being a whole and complete person with or without a significant other and as you do that you'll attract someone of that caliber.

If you find yourself getting stuck in certainty, learn to ask better questions. Peter says all events in life are subjective, nothing is good or bad unless we label it as so. Using that as our basis for all that happens in life we can change how we experience anything, we simply have to ask ourselves different and better questions. Instead of asking "Why did this happen to me?" or something of that ilk, we can ask "What is great about this that I haven't noticed yet?". Doing so will change how we see and feel about an event.

That's one practical tip Peter has for us. He also tells us how to truly understand the principle of uncertainty. If we put ourselves in situations we would've avoided in the past out of fear, we can show ourselves how to cope with the unknown. The more we embrace the unknown, the stronger our uncertainty muscles become. We can learn that uncertainty is a ghost, it's not real and it's not something that should hold us back any longer.

Peter has several other suggestions for overcoming the myth of uncertainty, all of which we dive into in this show. We also talk about why our school system doesn't educate our identities and why we actually need that, as well as the difference between manipulation and intent..and lots more! It was a pleasure to have Peter on the show, he was an amazing guest. I want to thank him for joining us and to thank you for being here too. Enjoy the episode and we'll see you next time.

THANKS PETER!

If you enjoyed this session of The Art of Charm Podcast, let Peter know by clicking on the link below and sending him a quick shout out on Twitter:

Click here to thank Peter on Twitter!

Resources from this episode:

Peter Sage's web site
Peter Sage on Twitter

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