The Relaxed Male is a podcast dedicated to empowering men to build healthier, more fulfilling relationships in all areas of their lives. Whether it's romantic partnerships, family bonds, friendships, or professional connections, this show provides insights and actionable advice for building and maintaining positive relationships grounded in mutual understanding, respect, and care. Each episode delves into the unique challenges and opportunities men face when it comes to fostering meaningful connections. The host Bryan assists men in understanding how the elements of how one approaches a problem can hinder relationship growth. Through thought-provoking discussions, real-life examples, and practical exercises, listeners gain valuable tools to improve their listening skills, empathy, vulnerability and thoughts needed for building trust and intimacy with those around them. The show also covers the importance of self-awareness, personal growth, and taking responsibility for one's actions and their impact on others. Ultimately, The Relaxed Male aims to empower men to have strong relationships without sacrificing who they are in the process...
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episode 8: Being Self-Reliant
So many men have become dependent that it is actually scary to think of being self-reliance. Though being able to rely on yourself is an important part of being a complete and balanced man. Many people depend on others to make them happy or to provide for them. This does nothing but breed discontent in the person who is relying on others to be taken care of. The other people who are taking care of you may do it out of the kindness of their heart for a while be eventually they start to look at you like a bit of a mooch.
I know this because when I was a young man just starting out on my own I was a mooch. I lived in an apartment with another guy who used to be my friend. I was able to make the bills if I didn’t eat. So I struggled and often had to have help from my roommate. This was ok for a while but eventually, it bred resentment in my roommate, and eventually, we parted ways and have not talked to each other since. Now some may say that he was just being selfish. No, he wasn’t, I was, and thanks to my roommate He taught me a very valuable lesson in that in any relationship you have to provide value. If you are always taking value and not providing the unbalance causes there to be anger and resentment.
So how do you become self-Reliant?There are several ways to do this. But the number one way is to get uncomfortable. You are going to have to depend on yourself and you are going to fail. Not that you may fail, but you are going to fail. Be ok with that you are will be well ahead of all the others who are struggling with growing up, otherwise known as adulating.
Don’t wait on othersThis can be a bit difficult. Often we wait on seeing what others do out of fear that we are going to choose the wrong thing. Don’t sweat this. Just take action. If it is wrong, OK you now know what not to do. Chalk it up to a learning experience and try again. Taking action is the one thing most dependent men don’t do. They will stand around and wait for orders to be given to them. Then they wonder why the orders are of the crappy kind. Why can’t they do something they would rather like to do than say sweep the shop? That is because you didn’t take action.
If you become a self-starter you are going to be a lot more thought of as a more dependable man. All because you got up out of bed when you said you were going to. If you wait for others to take action then you are already behind.
Make a decisionWhere do you want to eat? I don’t know where do you want to eat? This is a question that can go on forever. There are internet memes that talk about how men and women not able to find a place to eat because neither one is willing to make a decision. So I say make a decision. In fact, if you take action you are going to look more favorable in your girl’s eyes because you did take charge. So if there is a choice to make that choice and stick to it. Don’t him and haw, make a choice and then don’t wait on others and get to work.
Take responsibilityIf there is anything at the heart of being self-reliant that is you taking responsibility for yourself and your actions. As I said before you are going to get decisions wrong and you are going to make mistakes. Yet, as you keep making decisions and owning your dirt. The level of respect you have will keep growing. The more responsibility you have the more respect you also will develop. People will start to see you as a person who gets things done and knows that you are a man of your word.
Take care of yourselfThis is important in that you are showing yourself the needed self-care and self-respect you need to be self-reliant. You are relying on yourself to get what needs to be done, right? So make sure you are taking care of yourself.
Take care of your financesThis is just as important as yourself except that you are also preparing to make sure you are taken care of in your later years. The only person you can actually rely on to be able to care for yourself in your later year is only you. You can’t and shouldn’t be relying on that the government is going to be able to take care of you. If you want to be able to live in relative comfort then you want to make sure you take care of your business yourself.
Stop with the Comparison game
This is the biggest thief of joy in your life. Trying to compare yourself to other people is unrealistic. This also makes you feel like crap and is useless to the overall plan of what you have. If you are looking to other people you are also comparing them to yourself. You see what they have versus what you don’t and that is never a fair comparison.
So quit comparing yourself to others. You are looking at the wrong scenario.