Dubland

PJ has lost the plot altogether. Here's what happen, for those of you really paying attention, you'll remember that last week Suzanne called PJ skinny. Well, that ignorant attempt at a compliment has thrown him completely off the rails. So inflated was PJ's ego in regards to his invincible body that he lost himself in cheesecake, alcohol and Haribo jellies. The episode starts with a fatty breakdown of PJ's sugar intake...

Dubland are back in the studio for the first time in months, and Suzanne marks the occasion by instantly calling PJ skinny. He doesn't take kindly, so that's where we begin. Then there's PJ and Stefanie Preissner having coffee and his mad, intense fears about mundane things, which inspires great creativity in him. The world has gone mad, there's a quick rundown of the madness of 2020. The sexual abuse in the Irish comedy scene...

Fat and brown, or skinny and white... which is more desirable? Once again, Dubland demolishing the big questions. It doesn't stop there, of course, we move on to 'poo anxiety', and how much should we be farting? An update on PJ's dizziness and some potential solutions from the Dubland listeners hive mind. Suzanne and PJ then attempt to sort out Irish politics, but basically, they don't. So they move on to "Selling Sunset". Iconic sports stars who were absolute screwballs...

Suzanne has watched the Jeffrey Epstein documentary which was just fuel to the fire. The lifting of some restrictions was good, but everything else is terrible. All that is to say that she's as bad as PJ in this episode. Hence the title. Having said that, PJ won't give up his title easily - something he wished for in last week's episode comes true this week... and he gives out about that. No stopping him. The leader of Ireland speaks mostly in movie quotes, and we're ok with that...

The sun is out! Does that make the pandemic ok? Not really, but it applies a filter to life, which is nice. Turns out the whole thing is Liverpool Football Club's fault anyway. The sun brings the people out, and with that the hugs and the licking of each other. It's very deflating these inflated groups of people. Suzanne's daughter knows, and most people, according to her Instagram poll - anyway, PJ has a lot to say about the people who will "lose their minds if they don't see their friends"...

Chef PJ gets us started this week with his patented new and improved cooking techniques, with a fresh new take on what constitutes fresh food. An immediate about-turn leads us down the path of the exact opposite point. Then there's an uncompromising takedown of soda bread (cue comparison to a sandal).  There's a new law in Ireland, you can deliver pints, as long as you're a certain distance from the pub. You can get an Irish person to forget anything if you have a pool...

After some technical difficulties (PJ closes his laptop), the Dublanders dive into chat about heroes, shopping, and how some people have just given up. They talk about the government and people giving out about supporting charities, or the wrong charities, or some other nonsense. Where did the Coronvirus start? - Suzanne is unsure. PJ has a healthy little rant about Trump. Suzanne has a healthy little rant about her kids. PJ basically turns into a supervillain of negativity...

In this episode PJ informs Suzanne that she will die of a broken heart. She doesn't seem to mind as long as her hair is nice. The easing of restrictions, what does it all mean? How are the mammies dealing with being locked in? What is the best stuff to have in your cycling shorts? Gemma O'Doherty pretending we're in a police state. Suzanne is hopeful, PJ is pessimistic. We need people to be sounder. People slagging off Leo. PJ goes deep into the Stockdale Complex...

Dubland Lockdown Two - the differences between northside and southside lockdowns, the supportive clapping for HSE and NHS workers. More hair cutting analysis. Suzanne has reached Acceptance... PJ not so much. He has wrath to dish out - Cyclists get it. 5k Liars get it. PJ's friends get it. Humans in general get it. New technology gets it. Whatsapp gets it. And, obviously, Trump gets it. Don't drink disinfectant, people. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Dubland meets... absolutely no one because they are living in lockdown! They have figured out how to make chat over the internet and here we are. They talk about everything quarantine related, from home haircuts to Tiger King, from politics to a walk in the park, and from we’ll be out and about next week, to we’ll never be let out again, this is our new forever. All that and everything in between. It’s the isolation consolation we all need right now...