Myths and Legends

The story of Hercules is one part gritty, serious tragedy and two parts over-the-top monster fights. This week, in the origin story of one of the greatest mythological heroes of the western world, we get to see the human side of the demigod before the story goes completely off-the-rails and it's just one big monster fight topping the next. But don't worry, there are also monster fights this episode...

Instead of one long story, this week I'm telling four stories about canines from folklore from all around the world. We'll go back to the Norse gods and goddesses where Loki will make more poor choices. Then I'll talk about the legend of the black dog of the UK and Ireland. There's the weird and hilarious story of a little dog that was made king of Denmark, and how the people took it surprisingly seriously. Finally, I'll round out the show with the saddest story about a dog you've ever heard...

A short supplemental on one of the inspirations for Merlin, a man named Myrddin the Wyllt,  a Welsh warrior bard who went insane after seeing his friends die on the battlefield and ran off to a life in the forest. It would have been fine if people didn't keep dragging him back to civilization...or if he had thought at all about what he would do during the winter. You'll see that "insane" in this story is kind of a loose term for "I just want a little 'me' time in the forest...

The real story of the Little Mermaid is way more violent and grim than the Disney version, and does not have a happy ending. It's the story of a teenage mermaid who falls in love with a human and makes a deal to get legs, but that's where the similarities end. The original includes bald mermaids, daggers, and a great way to blackmail your kids into being good...

Wrapping up this current run of King Arthur episodes, we find a kingdom in shambles. We'll see the final(ish..for now at least) battle between the Saxons and the Britons, and then the rule of King Arthur's uncle and father. Uther then decides to risk this extremely tenuous peace to woo a woman who isn't into him at all. And by woo, I mean declare war against her and her husband and use your fancy magician friend's fancy magic to trick her into...well, you'll see...

This is where we meet Merlin, a son of a demon who uses his evil powers for good. But he's not yet the bearded sorcerer we all kind of know and love. No, he first enters our story as a serious seven year-old with power over magic, the ability to prophesy, and knowledge of the past, present, and future. The only problem? He's about to be executed by Vortigern's magicians. Luckily, his life will be saved by not one, but two dragons. Its the origin story of the world's most famous legendary wizard...

The King Arthur legends don't actually start with Arthur, but with several years of war, intrigue, and betrayal among the Britons, and a slippery earl by the name of Vortigern not-so-subtly engineering the deaths of two kings to become king himself. We'll start at the very beginning, with Arthur's grandfather being murdered and his father fleeing across the channel to protect himself from assassins working for a usurper king...

As it turns out, Koschei the Deathless is very, very hard to kill, a fact one could probably guess from his name. This episode explores his tragic origins, as well as the ludicrously complex way he's hidden his soul (a Russian nesting doll situation that's unpleasant for everyone involved). He'll prove his name incorrect as he finally meets his demise in what amounts to the most heart-wrenching egging of all time...

In this story of a dangerous magician from Russian folklore, you'll learn that you should maybe believe your spouse if she says you definitely don't want to know what's behind that door in the dungeon. It's the bizarre, sad, and kind of hilarious story of Koschei the Deathless, a man who seems like a much more serious and dangerous version of the Ice King from Adventure Time. Really, if you're horrible sorcerer who's a little lonely, maybe stop kidnapping princesses and just get a cat...

The story of Mulan, the woman who took her aging father's place in the army, does not mean what you think it means. The original character is almost completely awesome and very different from many retellings. Unfortunately, the inspiring central message of the story is a modern interpretation of something that was actually very insulting. Also, villain is less of a looming, hulking Hun, and more a bandit with a name of a spandex print. This is the story of Mulan as it was originally told...